[News] Whatever it is I’m against it.

[Eeyore]

Using rising inflections at the end of your SENTENCE ? Then being told to have a nice 'rest of your day' by someone who should understand grammar.

 

[RossyG]

Re the padding out, they can defo do away with the intro, where we learn what they do for a living, what their hobbies are, or a 'funny' anecdote. No-one cares, just get on with the ruddy quiz!

The amount of questions they ask, that show could be fifteen minutes long. The rest is just boring anecdotes told with sheepish grins and the Armstrong and Osman comedy improv show, which like all improv comedy is about 5% funny.

 

[vegster]

Greg Wallace.

 

[Easy 10]

People who order something by saying "can I get...?"
No, thicket - the person SERVING you will GET. You will HAVE. Can I HAVE.

Newspaper articles that post screenshots of text from Whatsapp, Twitter, comments on Facebook or whatever, and then proceed to regurgitate it all over again, word for word, in the body of the frigging article. WHATS THE POINT ?

 

[RossyG]

Using rising inflections at the end of your SENTENCE ?

Sentence? LUXURY!

I’ve worked with people who do that every clause.

Genuine example that has stuck in my head:

“So I went down the road, and there was this man there, and he was, like, looking at me, and I was like what’s he staring at.”

:

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Male contestants on Pointless who stand in the at-ease position (hands behind backs; feet apart) and then when they’re spoken to, they’ll rock from side to side like a chiming bell.

And the ones that don’t usually start their statements with ‘So I...”

For this reason I no longer watch the show. Well, that and because it’s padded out with too much chat and not enough quizzing.

Yes it is becoming more and more like the Zander & Richard Show . . . still addicted though.

 

[Change at Barnham]

Men of a certain age who for some unknown reason accompany their partners to the supermarket and just bumble about getting in the effing way of everyone else.

That would be me. The missus has now banned me from going with her (result!).

I've often thought that if ever I find myself single again that a supermarket is quite a good place to meet a new partner. You get to see women looking normal without being all dolled up and you can also see what they've got in their trolley which is a good indicator of what type of partner that would make.
(funnily enough, I haven't shared this insight with my wife)

 

[schmunk]

If I request 'a coffee', I want a coffee.

Not a further set of 23 options.

Do you walk into the barbershop and ask for 'a haircut', no further questions...?

 

[Triggaaar]

Said it before, will say it again;

A ponytail has never, ever, ever IMPROVED a man.

Unless it's worn backwards

 

[schmunk]

Men of a certain age who for some unknown reason accompany their partners to the supermarket and just bumble about getting in the effing way of everyone else.

For just £6.99 a month, you (almost) never need visit a supermarket again: https://www.tesco.com/DeliverySaver/

 

[Easy 10]

Said it before, will say it again;

A ponytail has never, ever, ever IMPROVED a man.

Indeed. And what do you find underneath every ponytail ?

Point proven.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I think you mean enunciating.

I wasn't sure but did look this up before posting and thought it was probably ok:


verb
pronounce (something) clearly and distinctly.
"he articulated each word with precision"

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Indeed. And what do you find underneath every ponytail?.

A cute girl?

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

People who say, 'know what l mean?', after almost every sentence. know what l mean?

I'd add ..... "I'm not being funny but ....". Correct you are almost definitely not being funny.

 

[RossyG]

I'd add ..... "I'm not being funny but ....". Correct you are almost definitely not being funny.

In polar opposition to “I’m not being rude, but...” where they most definitely are being rude.

 

[Dick Head]

If I request 'a coffee', I want a coffee.

Not a further set of 23 options.

When you ask for an Americano and they say, "Would you like milk?".

 

[Megazone]

Spending a fortune on a lads weekend to Chessington world of adventures but having the experience destroyed by all the overexcited kids not being controlled properly by their useless parents.

 

[Lenny Rider]

Surprised you didn't call him a nazi.

Don't recall many of Adolf's boys having that particular fashion accessory.

 

[Perry Milkins]

Starting a conversation with “So”

yes, yes, yes.

 

[Easy 10]

I'd add ..... "I'm not being funny but ....". Correct you are almost definitely not being funny.

I know a bloke down the pub who begins, I would say, around 56% of his sentences with those exact words. Nice enough chap, but its almost like a polite version of tourettes. It doesn't matter WHAT the conversation is about, those 5 words form the opening to the majority of most of whatever it is he is about to say, regardless of subject or context. Its quite odd.