[Humour] What Makes You A Dullard ?

[wunt be druv]

I find that just being me makes me a dullard....

 

[El Presidente]

I have a spreadsheet with over 200 sheets that contain sets of accounts for every club that’s ever played in the Premier League, as well as summaries for each season, along with substantial amounts from the EFL and SPFL.

I also have every set of Albion accounts in the public domain so can give chapter and verse on revenues/wages/profits etc with the exception of the 1998/99 accounts when Dick TIGHT only published an abbreviated set…I suspect that’s where ‘they’* hid the 1983 Cup Final money.

I‘ve never…
smoked
drank alcohol
drank coffee
taken illegal drugs
eaten a boiled egg
had a poo in a football ground

Ladies…form an orderly queue

#TeamDullard


*The Illuminati

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Football stats at all levels, I can spend hours looking at scores, scorer’s and attendance figures ( which is why I hate this counting tickets sold and not bums on seats malarkey) i can spend most of Sunday if aloud and Monday looking at Sunday results.

As I have got older I have a love for big engineering, steam trains and alike which shocks my Mrs.

Another but quite common I think is rock bands family trees.

I have a big book of rock band family trees which fascinates me. I also have a book of British hit singles that I often sit down with to browse through. I can also tell people what was #1 the day they were born and things like that. (Edit - but not from memory, only after looking it up….)

loading the dishwasher is something else I realise I actually have a reputation for in the family.

and finally I was looking at an advert for a T-shirt with “definition of a Dad” on it - can’t remember the website but I liked it. In the write-up it said that dad’s obsess about what can go in the recycling bin. That’s me too!

 

[One Teddy Maybank]

Probably talking about….

The mighty Brighton & Hove Albion (when at work)

Oh, and going on NSC too much…..

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

I love the ‘live trains’ tab on the National Rail app. Sometimes I pick a random station just to see where trains are going from there right now.

And another vote for the smell of stationery shops and the like. Lawrence’s art supplies in Portland Road in Hove is next level.

 

[smillie's garden]

I am a bit of a slight stickler for word usage, and I am interested in etymology, which has been known to induce yawns in my interlocutors.

Perhaps this is why this thread is annoying me somewhat: a dullard is actually someone who is slow or stupid. What people are describing here is behavior that is pedantic, obsessive, boring, and (yes) dull. This is undertaken by pedants, bores, obsessives, anoraks, train-spotters, or, perhaps, the somewhat American nerd or geek.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

I read stuff just because it’s there. Posters/notices on walls, station boardings, signage, manufacturing labels in clothing, the small detail on packaging, signs over doorways ….(but never instructions, maps, indexes or assembly guides for flat packs - like essential stuff)

I obsess over reading all the ingredients in packaged food ….

So, for example, while I am waiting for the kettle to boil to make a cuppa soup and a piece of toast at work, I’m reading all of this with a level of concentration one would normally apply to reading a Dostoevsky novel …

Ingredients​

Water, Glucose Syrup, Vegetables (3.5%) (Carrot, Onion, Peas), Maize Starch, Potato Starch, Cooked Chicken (1%), Palm Oil, Croutons (1%) (Wheat Flour (with added Calcium, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin), Palm Oil, Salt, Yeast, Antioxidant (Rosemary Extracts)), Salt, Palm Fat, Flavourings, Parsley, Milk Proteins, Potassium Chloride, Garlic, Yeast Extract (contains Barley), Sugar, Emulsifier (Mono-and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids), Ground Turmeric, Black Pepper Extract

Or this

Ingredients

Water, Vegetable Oils in varying proportions (Rapeseed, Sustainable Palm, Sunflower), Buttermilk, Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Emulsifiers (E471, Lecithins), Preservative (Potassium Sorbate), Acid (Lactic Acid), Colours (Annatto Bixin, Curcumin), Flavouring

I probably need to read more books thinking about it - it might make me less dull

 

[Sheebo]

For me, it’s writing things like this:

‘Now I love buses and coaches. And there is little more exciting that the new trackers that have appeared in recent years. Oh the joys of watching the number 18 go around the Queen's Park route.’

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

For me, it’s writing things like this:

‘Now I love buses and coaches. And there is little more exciting that the new trackers that have appeared in recent years. Oh the joys of watching the number 18 go around the Queen's Park route.’

And to think there are people wasting internet resources on porn when they could be doing this!

 

[METALMICKY]

I became a quantity surveyor and did that job for 40 years. That has to qualify surely

And you never tried accountancy or.....................lion taming?

 

[Justice]

I have a spreadsheet with over 200 sheets that contain sets of accounts for every club that’s ever played in the Premier League, as well as summaries for each season, along with substantial amounts from the EFL and SPFL.

I also have every set of Albion accounts in the public domain so can give chapter and verse on revenues/wages/profits etc with the exception of the 1998/99 accounts when Dick TIGHT only published an abbreviated set…I suspect that’s where ‘they’* hid the 1983 Cup Final money.

I‘ve never…
smoked
drank alcohol
drank coffee
taken illegal drugs
eaten a boiled egg
had a poo in a football ground

Ladies…form an orderly queue

#TeamDullard


*The Illuminati

May I ask why you find the accounts of football clubs so interesting?

 

[Justice]

I like pinning pictures of my victims on our kitchen pinboard. It annoys Mrs Q because I like them in a neat line.

Do you also gift Mrs Q the victim’s jewellery

 

[Questions]

Do you also gift Mrs Q the victim’s jewellery

Of course I do. I keep the shoes though.

 

[NottinghamGull]

Watching the TV series “Grumpy Old Men”. You start off by agreeing with selected comments, and then realise you’re one of them.
Plenty of other things from this chat.
* Mowing the lawn for one last time in the autumn. Then we have some late sun and it needs mowing again after fully cleaning the mower to put away for winter
* Leaf blowing and collection on a nice still autumn day. Garden looks great. Then gusts of wind the next day destroys it all. Usually after the last garden waste collection of the year
* Secretly watching some crap TV with the missus and slowly enjoying it and scheduling in your diary the next episode release date. Then finding some of your mates are doing the same thing
* Saying things to the kids that my dad said to me and getting the same “eye roll” I used to give

There’s a great comfort in all of this….

 

[El Presidente]

May I ask why you find the accounts of football clubs so interesting?

Allows me to identify clubs at risk, whether owners are putting money in or taking it out, and potential FFP breaches etc.

 

[Stato]

I am a bit of a slight stickler for word usage, and I am interested in etymology, which has been known to induce yawns in my interlocutors.

Perhaps this is why this thread is annoying me somewhat: a dullard is actually someone who is slow or stupid. What people are describing here is behavior that is pedantic, obsessive, boring, and (yes) dull. This is undertaken by pedants, bores, obsessives, anoraks, train-spotters, or, perhaps, the somewhat American nerd or geek.

Beat me to it. Why is everybody misinterpreting the word? A dullard is not someone who has dull interests or who is not interesting. It's from the archaic use of the word dull to mean lacking intelligence. The correct term for someone who obsesses over the minute details of obscure things that most people have no interest in is 'a man'.

 

[Eeyore]

I love the ‘live trains’ tab on the National Rail app. Sometimes I pick a random station just to see where trains are going from there right now.

And another vote for the smell of stationery shops and the like. Lawrence’s art supplies in Portland Road in Hove is next level.

Ooooh, can you watch them going up and down the map ? That'll be a few winter evenings sorted for me.

 

[Algernon]

Do you also gift Mrs Q the victim’s jewellery

Of course I do. I keep the shoes though.

Imagine if @Questions turns out to be a bona fide serial killer hiding in plain sight on NSC.

 

[Eeyore]

I have a spreadsheet with over 200 sheets that contain sets of accounts for every club that’s ever played in the Premier League, as well as summaries for each season, along with substantial amounts from the EFL and SPFL.

I also have every set of Albion accounts in the public domain so can give chapter and verse on revenues/wages/profits etc with the exception of the 1998/99 accounts when Dick TIGHT only published an abbreviated set…I suspect that’s where ‘they’* hid the 1983 Cup Final money.

I‘ve never…
smoked
drank alcohol
drank coffee
taken illegal drugs
eaten a boiled egg
had a poo in a football ground

Ladies…form an orderly queue

#TeamDullard


*The Illuminati

This is the reason why you are the Life President. There's only one of the above I have never done. And I'm really dull.

 

[Eeyore]

Imagine if @Questions turns out to be a bona fide serial killer hiding in plain site on NSC.

'Plain site' Is NSC dull as well ?