What is the worst thing youve done when pissed

[nevergoagain]

got married!

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

In a bar in Tenerife I was playing a game of 'Dare' (Follow Phil)with my mate, Phil. To cut a long story short, we ended up without a stitch on strutting around the bar swinging our boxers around our heads - was a real laugh at the time.

The next day............. apparently there were families in said bar........

Not my proudest moment.

The owner didn't ban us though

 

[rospants]

shagged a spotty ginger bloke!

 

[Yoda]

on a bus. The driver didn't know.

 

[brighton2win]

stung my dick while pissing in a bush

 

[Napper]

i left ruberdicks in wtg and walking home with my mate absolutely messy. Saw a bird about 100 metres away who we both agreed looked big from there.
Upon approaching this bird she had sick down her front , was massive and extremely ugly. I started to give her a bit of patter to which my mate tried to stop me. I flipped , accused him of trying to steal her + told him to "get lost"
I took the said bird down the alley next to iceland and continued to rake about in her knickers + get up to the usuals.
10 mins later came round, (prob the smell of cod) realised what I was doing and ran out the alley way trousers half down, Was just in time to walk home with my mate and nick some of his chips.
"a great night"

 

[tedebear]

A couple not worth mentioning but the funniest one was when I got pissed in the members stand at Lords with my ex. He had some clients along with him and I was told to behave myself, however the pimms was flowing and my mouth just wouldn't shut up, I berated everyone in the members stand for not doing the wave, apparently sang a few bars of Waltzing Matilda at the top of my lungs and then proceeded to tell my ex's clients what he thought of them, which didn't go down well aparently... came away with a nasty sunburn and sore head, and my credit card taken off me for ages!!

It was a one day final against Pakistan - and we won if my memory serves me correct...

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

went to work. how i didnt get sacked ill never know! missed 4 credit car frauds and dropped two tv's.

 

[aftershavedave]

got hammered at downbeat many years ago, eyed up a stunner but a moose thought i was looking at her.....i was in no fit state to complain and she led me away to my fate.

walking through a very dark preston park i 'forgot' there was an italian sunken garden and pond and walked straight into it.......

didn't stop me getting molested though, even covered with lakeweed!

 

[Bakesy]

Pee'd in the wardrobe on my wedding night

 

[withdeanwombat]

I can't remember.

The scrumpy's too strong.

How did I get on Lundy?

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Shat off the balcony on the 15th floor of the Hotel Orange ,Benidorm and it landed on a taxi,uproar,thought I was gonna get shot by the irate cabbie.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

not the worst but still amusing. after the 1983 cup final i came back to newhaven with my mates and got pissed in the ark til 3 oclock in the morning............then realised i lived in portsmouth! didnt go down too well with my (now ex) wife

 

[Scotty Mac]

not the worst but still amusing. after the 1983 cup final i came back to newhaven with my mates and got pissed in the ark til 3 oclock in the morning............then realised i lived in portsmouth! didnt go down too well with my (now ex) wife

fantastic

 

[Tigers shirt]

I messed my pants at The Reading festival one year, er.. had food poisoning, spent 2 days throwing up and shitting in the lovely toilets.

 

[B.M.F]

Said I would never drink again Think that lasted about 6 hours which is good for me.

 

[chez]

What is the worst thing youve done when pissed ?

One of the BHAFC stewardesses!!!

 

[B.M.F]

What is the worst thing youve done when pissed ?

One of the BHAFC stewardesses!!!

Which one as I know of 2

 

[The British National Party]

Came home one night after being on the lash all day, got up during the night to relief myself only to hear ' What the hell do you think you're doing' I came to and realised I was peeing in my mums fireplace in her bedroom at 3am

Another time I can remember is when I was clubbing in Brighton, Half three in the morning and two policemen asked If I was okay, I said, I was till you woke me up, But you’re a sleep on the roof of a car came the reply, I was completely hammered. Thank god they didn’t arrest me for criminal damage.

 

[Bwian]

Got absolutely bolloxed when I was 16 and was living in Southwick.

Started off in Portslade at work's do, went to the Offy after that and bought a small bottle of rum. Drank that and after work went into the Cricketers (Portslade) carrying the gallon can of gloss paint I'd bought and had a couple of pints. Got on the bus and tried going upstairs and immediately dropped the paint can, lid came off and ran down the stairs that I'd managed to fall up

Got home, threw up a few times, got washed etc., and went back out. Down to the Pilot (hey-I was 16 remember), stayed 'til closing but managed to buy 4 cans of something or other. Went to a friend's house where their family friend persuaded me to drink a few Scotches. By now I was totally pissed so decided to make my way home to Downsway. Unfortunately, they gave me my cans to take home which-of course-I decided to drink as I walked up Southwick Street. A little while later I realised I was at Southern Cross so turned around and tried to find Downsway. Eventually got home to find the old man had locked the door. Not to be out-done I climbed the drainpipe near the parents' bedroom window, stretched across and lurched about for a while. Finally fell in through their window and ended up in a heap on their bedroom floor...listening to my mother screaming from behind her wardrobe door because she thought I was a burglar

As a treat for my mother I spent the next couple of hours puking everywhere It was Christmas Eve too so she well pleased