[Albion] Vile racist language in the South Stand

[portlock seagull]

When my boy was little and having meltdowns in public, the amount of times some twit would tell me to slap his legs or give him a clip round the ear was unbelievable. Sometimes when tired and emotional I would confront them but mostly I would continue to calm him and help him.

Some people are just judgemental and so fixed in their mindset that they can only conceive of one solution to a problem.

Some people tried to help though. Most people are brilliant.

That’s unfortunate but perhaps understandable and forgivable depending on what sort of day you’ve had. Many will naturally assume kids are deliberately acting up, because they can and do. Plus advised tactic had desired outcome for generations before todays parenting after all. Takes time for people to become enlightened.

 

[sydney]

It’s an incredibly complex situation, I don’t think NSC is the best place to air it, BUT, your grievances are completely valid and I’m glad Paul Barber has responded, because in all truth he’s the best person to deal with this. Did I just praise Paul Barber, Christ I must be very drunk.

paul barber is responsible for the failure of guardian to control the language of his impaired dependant ...?? ffs..? wtf is wrong with you people...?? and how is he going to "deal" with it ....exactly...?? ban the kid ? fine the guardian ? put signs up everywhere saying "racist language is naughty, don't do it" why did the OP not just turn round and say something like "do you mind " , " leave it out " or just a plain and simple STFU....!!

 

[sydney]

exactly..

 

[sydney]

exactly..

 

[Zeberdi]

Racism and swearing is learnt behaviour and at the age of 7 he is clearly copying that from somewhere.

I know you are referring to the OP’s situation but as a general observation, in the case of autism or more specifically Coprolalia - where a person with a particular form of autism is causing them to say racist things, they are not a racist - this was written from the point of view of someone who suffers from Tourette vocal tics which is not learned but involuntary behaviour and very distressing to the sufferer:

”…So, there is no disability that causes racism and that’s obviously true. However, Tourette’s can make you say racist things that you don’t believe and have no relation to your thoughts or character…. That doesn’t mean, Tourette’s causes racism. Obviously that’s societal. Also, not everyone with Tourette’s will have racist tics. The only people who might will be those with a symptom called Coprolalia…Coprolalia makes us say things that are inappropriate or things that we don’t want to say.… Now, obviously, things that are inappropriate vary from culture to culture and in various situations, so by definition, so does Coprolalia. So obviously, while racism does not come from Tourette’s, the only way for someone with Coprolalia to guarantee never to have a racist tic is to literally be entirely unaware that racism even exists. Which is obviously impossible. Racism is everywhere and we all know things that might offend various groups of people. Just not all our brains compel us to say those things.”

Oppositional Me

This is a post I need to write but you might not need to read – I’m going to discuss some of the complicated, distressing parts of having Tourettes, and if reading it feels too much at any point please stop or take a break. It’s not likely to give any answers, but hopefully it’ll give voice and visi

www.touretteshero.com

In terms of the OP’s experience - It’s not appropriate imo, to discuss the specifics of any child’s disability on an internet forum or without knowing the facts but in principle, if BHA football club and parents/carers feel particular individuals can attend matches without exposing themselves or others to an unacceptable risk of harm, then that’s a decision for them at the end of the day not members of the public.

 

[BadFish]

That’s unfortunate but perhaps understandable and forgivable depending on what sort of day you’ve had. Many will naturally assume kids are deliberately acting up, because they can and do. Plus advised tactic had desired outcome for generations before todays parenting after all. Takes time for people to become enlightened.

I agree it just takes a little time to consider the reasons behind people's actions before wading in with ones own thoughts and opinions as to what might solve the problem.

What I find tricky though it that people thought that those were the times to give a stranger parenting tips (that don't work).

 

[BadFish]

exactly..

Who are you quoting Sydney? . Is that the voices in your head again?

 

[South Oz Seagull]

Very wise, he ducks off when it gets tricky. If you want meaningless drivel though. He is your man

Nup still here but getting bored.

 

[South Oz Seagull]

You are surely a wind up right?

Hmm...you could be onto something here.

 

[portlock seagull]

Was he autistic? Did he know that it was wrong? Are you just projecting what you 'think' should have happened? Is it just your opinion?

Or perhaps be more tolerant towards others perfectly rational interpretation in circumstances? Maybe that would help with your outrage, and the subsequent hill you’ve chosen to die on?

 

[South Oz Seagull]

Bottom line with all of this...racism and sexism are totally unacceptable and regardless of the source it has to be properly addressed. The person responsible for the public outbursts that initiated this thread may or may not have been genuinely autistic (also depends where they are on the spectrum) however, regardless of the reasons behind the outbursts it should have been dealt with promptly. Arguably, if the child was at the very disruptive end of the spectrum, they shouldn't have been brought along in the first place.

 

[portlock seagull]

I agree it just takes a little time to consider the reasons behind people's actions before wading in with ones own thoughts and opinions as to what might solve the problem.

What I find tricky though it that people thought that those were the times to give a stranger parenting tips (that don't work).

Through away remarks are indeed unhelpful.

I’ve only ever once said something. Kid being screamed at after getting lost in a crowd. Parent clearly OTT and appreciate doing out of fear. Soon as I did, because kid was crying (didn’t like getting lost either I guess) several others chipped in agreeing. Obviously told none of my business. But I disagree when a) I found the kid b) you behave like that in a public place.

Wish had said something to a Dad bullying his kid in pub last year. Humiliating him, was drunk, loud and behaving terribly towards. Clearly it was his weekend and he wanted nothing to do with (from conversation overheard on phone). Poor kid. But who knows what I might have triggered. Some just ain’t fit to be parents I guess.

 

[birthofanorange]

There's a few ****s here, so i'm off. Shameful.

 

[birthofanorange]

Or perhaps be more tolerant towards others perfectly rational interpretation in circumstances? Maybe that would help with your outrage, and the subsequent hill you’ve chosen to die on?

More Dick than Knight.

 

[birthofanorange]

Through away remarks are indeed unhelpful.

I’ve only ever once said something. Kid being screamed at after getting lost in a crowd. Parent clearly OTT and appreciate doing out of fear. Soon as I did, because kid was crying (didn’t like getting lost either I guess) several others chipped in agreeing. Obviously told none of my business. But I disagree when a) I found the kid b) you behave like that in a public place.

Wish had said something to a Dad bullying his kid in pub last year. Humiliating him, was drunk, loud and behaving terribly towards. Clearly it was his weekend and he wanted nothing to do with (from conversation overheard on phone). Poor kid. But who knows what I might have triggered. Some just ain’t fit to be parents I guess.

What a mess...all of it. Well done.

 

[sydney]

Who are you quoting Sydney? . Is that the voices in your head again?

sorry meant to be you...

 

[BadFish]

sorry meant to be you...

All good, mate I hope you are well.

 

[sydney]

All good, mate I hope you are well.

i am as well as can be expected ...

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

Yes but being a foul mouthed bigot is not part of the diagnostic criteria for an Autism Spectrum Disorder and neither is having an ASD an excuse for the behaviour. Like you I have close personal experience with ASD and I find it quite repugnant that some seem to see the kids ASD as a mitigating factor.

Yes, it isn’t a part of the diagnostic criteria. However, I have worked with some autistic children who do behave in this way and receive therapy. As I said earlier in the thread there should be a way of accommodating both the OP and the other family….without everybody rushing to judgement. If there isn’t then fair enough. The OP says he is in communication with the club.

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

Reading this thread has made me wonder at what age does autism stop being autism and becomes anti-social behaviour. After all, we only ever seem to hear about autistic children. If a nineteen year old person was spouting off about anal rape in the ground, could they use this as an excuse for this behaviour?

That is a staggeringly ignorant post. My wife works with autistic adults.