[Albion] Vile racist language in the South Stand

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

Maybe we need a thread where we can share resources, courses and videos?

Dr Ross Greene's books are awesome. As and educator, Lost in school is incredible.

Great idea.

This page is an excellent resource of books that help children understand autism, my kids (including my daughters who are neurotypical) have read some of them to help them understand things more.

30 Best Children's Books About the Autism Spectrum

While some of these books are written specifically for children on the autism spectrum, others are aimed towards siblings and friends. Either way, each of these 30 best children’s books about the autism spectrum provide a level of comfort and understanding that can only be achieved through a...

www.appliedbehavioranalysisprograms.com

 

[Guinness Boy]

I see a good nights sleep hasn’t improved the mood amongst the ‘adults’

Lovely and sunny out …ta ta

To the OP hope your daughter comes back to the next game ….I’ve been to every league game at the Amex bar 2 and experienced nothing like it.

There have been a few post reports on this thread and I've just taken time to read some of it. Quite happy for people to carry on if a positive discussion about parenting and autism ensues but I'm minded to bin it if all people can do is call each other nobs and idiots. It serves no purpose.

Not really sure about threads like this in general if I'm honest. It looks like the stewards dealt with it and the children's parents are highly unlikely to read NSC and even less likely to do something if they do. It's like those Facebook posts "to the driver of the BMW who nearly ran down my cat....". Yes, sorry for the upset Pamela but he's not going to be reading it, is he?

However,

Maybe we need a thread where we can share resources, courses and videos?

Dr Ross Greene's books are awesome. As and educator, Lost in school is incredible.

This is a great idea. Please start one. Hopefully, as with other "help" threads like the Mental Health and Running ones it'll self police.

 

[KZNSeagull]

It's great that you've taken it upon yourself to educate and learn more on autism, if only more people would do that. With the support your family are giving your cousin i'm sure he will do brilliantly at school.

As I said in my other post there is a big lack of understanding of autism in society. Even as a parent I've struggled to understand it, when my youngest was first diagnosed we struggled with finding support etc, but got involved with a local charity for SEN kids and this helped us massively. It wasn't until I had custody full time that I really got to understand things at a decent level and I found a couple of very informative courses ran locally ( as I was working full time before that their mother did the courses but wasn't forthcoming with sharing what she'd learnt). Unfortunately since Covid i've struggled to find similar courses, a refresher is always good, and meeting other parents and sharing and discussing ideas etc is a great way of learning coping techniques too.

I don't know how old your children are but we have found that the support for autistic young people seems to drop off a cliff after the age of 18. Maybe it is just a regional thing and not a nationwide phenomenon but once they approach that age, I would suggest contacting as many local charities/organisations as possible to see what sort of thing they can offer in the way of support and make them aware of your children. We have also found that not having a social worker or someone in that area being aware of our son is a massive hindrance.

 

[Flagship]

What an odd post. Perhaps you could give some examples of this so called ‘rabid’ posting ? I have been very measured on this thread and tried to give the perspective of someone actually trained in this field. You have quoted my post correctly but the meaning seems pretty clear to everyone but you. The poster questioned whether autism exists in adults. I answered with a one line that my wife works with autistic adults. One would have to be particularly obtuse to fail to understand the connection between working with autistic adults and them existing. Why would anyone working in neurodiversity bother working with people who are not actually neurodiverse but just anti social,as suggested by the other poster ?

I think I am the poster you are referring to and i think you have misunderstood my question. I wasn't questioning whether autism exists in adults, what I was asking was would the ramifications be different had the bad language described in the OP, been used by a 19 year old rather than a 7 year old. What I want to know if having autism would be a reason to be excused this behaviour. The 7 year old had nothing to answer for but would a 19 year old?

There have been some great posts on here which have been enlightening.

 

[BadFish]

@BadFish a notable exception.

What is it about Australia that spawns these posters: spider bites, too much sun, the coriolis effect?

To be fair I am a Brightonian living amongst them.

I will keep drinking the venom in the sun though and see what happens

Aussies are genuinely sound, not sure what attracts the outliers to NSC though. Maybe the seagulls?

 

[jackalbion]

@BadFish a notable exception.

What is it about Australia that spawns these posters: spider bites, too much sun, the coriolis effect?

Well he’s Graham Potter’s burner, so he gets a pass

 

[BadFish]

There have been a few post reports on this thread and I've just taken time to read some of it. Quite happy for people to carry on if a positive discussion about parenting and autism ensues but I'm minded to bin it if all people can do is call each other nobs and idiots. It serves no purpose.

Not really sure about threads like this in general if I'm honest. It looks like the stewards dealt with it and the children's parents are highly unlikely to read NSC and even less likely to do something if they do. It's like those Facebook posts "to the driver of the BMW who nearly ran down my cat....". Yes, sorry for the upset Pamela but he's not going to be reading it, is he?

However,



This is a great idea. Please start one. Hopefully, as with other "help" threads like the Mental Health and Running ones it'll self police.

I'll do it tomorrow, and add some of the resources from here to it

 

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

I don't know how old your children are but we have found that the support for autistic young people seems to drop off a cliff after the age of 18. Maybe it is just a regional thing and not a nationwide phenomenon but once they approach that age, I would suggest contacting as many local charities/organisations as possible to see what sort of thing they can offer in the way of support and make them aware of your children. We have also found that not having a social worker or someone in that area being aware of our son is a massive hindrance.

You are right there is a big drop off after they leave education, i've got a few more years until that happens as they are 12 and 10. Thankfully I've got a good support network for advice etc. Social Services have assisted in the past and are aware of both boys. My current focus is on getting the older boy his EHCP, that is a massively drawn out process and seems to have gotten slower since my younger boy got his in 2019.

 

[Paxton Dazo]

Aussies are genuinely sound

Let’s save this comment and wait until we see how many runs Steve Smith scores for us in County Championship.

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

I think I am the poster you are referring to and i think you have misunderstood my question. I wasn't questioning whether autism exists in adults, what I was asking was would the ramifications be different had the bad language described in the OP, been used by a 19 year old rather than a 7 year old. What I want to know if having autism would be a reason to be excused this behaviour. The 7 year old had nothing to answer for but would a 19 year old?

There have been some great posts on here which have been enlightening.

No worries. I think you did query whether presentation of autism in adults is just anti social behaviour. It has triggered quite a debate ! I wouldn’t excuse any such behaviour and wouldn’t want anything I have said on this thread to be taken as doing so. The OP also should be able to enjoy the game in the way he expected. What we have been discussing is the possible explanation (not excuse) of the behaviour, given that autism was mentioned. It is up to the club how they manage giving a wonderful opportunity for a neurodiverse person to support their club but at the same time take into account any impact on people around them. I don’t think the age matters too much and as has been said autism is a lifelong experience. Regardless of the facts of the OP the discussion has been worthwhile.

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

You are right there is a big drop off after they leave education, i've got a few more years until that happens as they are 12 and 10. Thankfully I've got a good support network for advice etc. Social Services have assisted in the past and are aware of both boys. My current focus is on getting the older boy his EHCP, that is a massively drawn out process and seems to have gotten slower since my younger boy got his in 2019.

My advice would be to try to get that EHCP as specific as possible. For example if your son needs OT, Speech Therapy etc then get it written in accordingly. Otherwise there is a risk that you will only be able to access specialist teaching which is not always sufficient but cheaper for the Local Authority.

 

[Zeberdi]

Firstly I am not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me or my children. I embrace their autism as it makes them unique in the same way the traits and personality of a neurotypical child makes them unique. Also autism isn't an illness, calling it an illness implies it can be cured or in some way treated with medicine. It cannot be treated, it is a life long disorder that requires support.

Secondly, if you actually read my post you would see I wasn't looking to comment on the specifics of what happened in the event according to the OP because I wasn't there so I only have one side of the story. Yes I said I wouldn't allow my sons to behave in the way described by the OP but that meant as in anti-social behaviour rather than a comment of the specifics of what he claims was said.

What I was trying to do is explain things from the point of view of someone who has autistic children and how I go about things to try and help them and better explain some of the other comments made on this thread and try to educate people what living with autism or being the parent of an autistic child is actually like, and maybe educate a few people (like those that think its an illness).

Ok - Well first of all - Apologies for referring to autism as an ‘illness’ rather than a disorder- that was an inadvertent slip - I know it’s a disorder not an ‘illness’ and appreciate the correction - You seem to have taken offence though at my whole post when none was meant - my recognition that having two autistic children could be challenging by saying ‘sorry to hear that’ didn't merit the stroppy tone of your post back at me - my best friend’s son has Asperger’s - I don’t feel sorry for her in a patronising way, but I empathise with her (not pity or feel sorry for her) in the knowledge that managing autistic children can be challenging - if you don’t find managing two autistic children’s disorder symptoms challenging at times, then I am genuinely happy for you and you don’t need anyone to empathise with you but that’s not been my own personal experience of autism without going into personal specifics which I am not prepared to do on an open forum,

As for the OP’s situation- my comments about Coprolalia were in response to you but not a criticism of or a push back to what you were saying here :

I certainly wouldn’t allow either of my boys to behave in the way described by the OP, they’d have been told to stop

Please read my post again, I did make it clear I was commenting on what your post didn’t cover ie not a criticism of what you did say, but supplementing what you said with points of my own regarding Cropolalia/Tourette’s which doesn’t apply to you - so there is no need to take it personally.

I think my points about racism and Cropolalia needs to be said in the context of this thread topic because in my experience, misunderstanding of autistic symptoms such as Cropolalia/Tourette tics can lead to situations where autistic people or their caregivers/parents can be bullied in a public environment for not ‘controlling’ their children’s inappropriate language.

We don’t know the facts surrounding the child’s behaviour at the Amex - but whether a crowed football ground is a suitable environment for a child with Cropolalia symptoms I think is up to the Club and parents to decide -

 

[BN9 BHA]

@BadFish a notable exception.

What is it about Australia that spawns these posters: spider bites, too much sun, the coriolis effect?

All of the above and drinking shite lager

 

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

Ok - Well first of all - Apologies for referring to autism as an ‘illness’ rather than a disorder- that was an inadvertent slip - I know it’s a disorder not an ‘illness’ and appreciate the correction - You seem to have taken offence though at my whole post when none was meant - my recognition that having two autistic children could be challenging by saying ‘sorry to hear that’ didn't merit the stroppy tone of your post back at me - my best friend’s son has Asperger’s - I don’t feel sorry for her in a patronising way, but I empathise with her (not pity or feel sorry for her) in the knowledge that managing autistic children can be challenging - if you don’t find managing two autistic children’s disorder symptoms challenging at times, then I am genuinely happy for you and you don’t need anyone to empathise with you but that’s not been my own personal experience of autism without going into personal specifics which I am not prepared to do on an open forum,

As for the OP’s situation- my comments about Coprolalia were in response to you but not a criticism of or a push back to what you were saying here :

Please read my post again, I did make it clear I was commenting on what your post didn’t cover ie not a criticism of what you did say, but supplementing what you said with points of my own regarding Cropolalia/Tourette’s which doesn’t apply to you - so there is no need to take it personally.

I think my points about racism and Cropolalia needs to be said in the context of this thread topic because in my experience, misunderstanding of autistic symptoms such as Cropolalia/Tourette tics can lead to situations where autistic people or their caregivers/parents can be bullied in a public environment for not ‘controlling’ their children’s inappropriate language.

We don’t know the facts surrounding the child’s behaviour at the Amex - but whether a crowed football ground is a suitable environment for a child with Cropolalia symptoms I think is up to the Club and parents to decide -

I never said I didn't find it challenging, raising children is challenging full stop. I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me though, other posters with autistic children have said the same. Showing support is different to feeling sorry for someone.

My posts weren't stroppy, I was trying to educate people on what it's like to be a parent of an autistic child and maybe lay to rest some of the misunderstanding that was going on this thread, it had nothing to do with the alleged racism experienced by the OP so you didn't need to repeat your comments about Cropolalia either.

 

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

My advice would be to try to get that EHCP as specific as possible. For example if your son needs OT, Speech Therapy etc then get it written in accordingly. Otherwise there is a risk that you will only be able to access specialist teaching which is not always sufficient but cheaper for the Local Authority.

Thankfully the SEN department at his school are very switched on and know what he needs. The problem is more the local authority making you jump through hoops before you can even apply for an EHCP. In my sons case there is no need for OT or Speech Therapy (which was built into my younger boys EHCP), he however needs more focused support in the classroom, and will need a lot of support when exams start kicking in.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

Okay let's pretend we can't make a distinction between excusing something and explaining it . . .

What do you mean by dumbing down of autism?

How does using it as an excuse make that happen?

I come across it daily, people using it as a reason to be treated differently than others beyond the normal processes in place (which should always be followed).

One off the top of my head is an aircraft change, I can assure you every change I deal with leads to at least one set of parents demanding an upgrade in cabin class due to this happening as their child (or all) are on the spectrum as it's triggered them, you investigate this slightly and they get annoyed you've dared question it.

What do you think certain peoples reactions are now they hear the word autism after dealing with things like that daily are? as previously said I feel sad for the people who have kids with serious autism, selfish people using the line "my child has autism" for the latest issue or a hunt for compensation has made their life harder.

 

[Zeberdi]

never said I didn't find it challenging, raising children is challenging full stop. I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me though

Are you actually reading my posts or just trying to start an argument - I said I don’t feel sorry for you, I empathise - it’s a completely different attitude and based on my own experiences. When people say ‘sorry to hear that’ it’s a figure of speech - it not mean literally oh you poor thing, I feel sorry for you’ - I have never treated anyone in such a patronising manner like that - years of working in social support environments with people from all walks of life dealing with all sorts of personal circumstances , I know better than that and know how insulting it is. You don’t know me but I can only assure you that that is not what I meant. You can say ‘I was sorry (or sad) to hear you have cancer’ without actually feeling pity or patronisingly sorry for someone.

y posts weren't stroppy, I was trying to educate people on what it's like to be a parent of an autistic child and maybe lay to rest some of the misunderstanding that was going on this thread, it had nothing to do with the alleged racism experienced by the OP so you didn't need to repeat your comments about Cropolalia either.

Your response to me did come across as a bit stroppy towards me tbh as does the final remark of your last post but I will let it go - as for the first bold in your quote above, I was doing exactly the same regarding Cropolalia based on my own personal experiences and with that knowledge, trying to lay to rest some of the misunderstandings being expressed about autism and racist language/sexually inappropriate language behaviour and that had everything to do with the alleged racism experienced by the OP - it did bear repeating only to clarify my response to you was about that not your situation and that some specific forms of autism means someone may have no autonomy over what they say at times so it would be wrong to accuse them of being racist.

I’m not interested in having any further exchanges with you on this - have a good day .

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

I come across it daily, people using it as a reason to be treated differently than others beyond the normal processes in place (which should always be followed).

One off the top of my head is an aircraft change, I can assure you every change I deal with leads to at least one set of parents demanding an upgrade in cabin class due to this happening as their child (or all) are on the spectrum as it's triggered them, you investigate this slightly and they get annoyed you've dared question it.

What do you think certain peoples reactions are now they hear the word autism after dealing with things like that daily are? as previously said I feel sad for the people who have kids with serious autism, selfish people using the line "my child has autism" for the latest issue or a hunt for compensation has made their life harder.

So deal with that issue as it arises rather than drawing conclusions about ASD in general.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

So deal with that issue as it arises rather than drawing conclusions about ASD in general.

It arises multiple times daily, which is why now the reason people are blasé about it and have switched off on the subject, actually it's the multiple times and the language used when demanding compensation for it.

MY CHILD IS AUTISTIC in caps, followed by an aggressive email is not uncommon, in fact you can instantly tell the ones who really need help by the tone of the email.

The question asked was why it's being dumbed down, I'm just giving reasons why.

I'm sure its not uncommon across other industries as well.

 

[South Oz Seagull]

Wow...what a thread. Any criticism or insults directed at me are water off a ducky's back but I think at some point someone suggested I was a Palace supporter: now that does hurt! On a more serious note, hopefully some good for parents of autistic children will come out of all the mud-slinging, misunderstandings, shooting from the hip, intolerance of alternate views and laying bare of some pretty difficult situations that people have to endure. Furthermore, it may be that people will also find constructive ways to nip inappropriate public behaviour in the bud: at risk of stating the obvious, that's how the thread started.