Thinngs you wish you never said..

[doogie004]

After my wife tried on some new sexy lingerie and I looked at the book we had bought it from she asked wot I was doing ,I replied I was looking at wot it should really look like on . Never wore it again

 

[Chicken Runner61]

Years ago in front of many girls and teachers I shouted to everyone to get a move on and stop having a "mass debate" The whole corridor went quiet as i said it and stopped and stared at me as I realised the double meaning of the two words for the very first time.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

I used to stay 'round a 'friends' house after school when I was about 5 - 6. I say 'friend' because she wasn't really my friend, just a girl in my class at school whose mum happened to have flexible working hours and could therefore look after a few children after school.

Anyway, her brother was the 'cool kid' two years above us, so I obviously took his word as gospel and did as he did and listened to his wisdom.

One day, we were having dinner together all sat at the table, the mother, the classmate, and the older brother and I.

I liked the meal, but wasn't quite sure what it was as we hadn't had it at home before, so when the mother was clearing up, I turned to older brother and asked the name of this delicious meal.

When mother came back, I thanked her; 'I like these ****in' nuggets'. Straight faced, 6 years old.

Banned for life.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

Never before have I ever been headbutted so hard then kicked in the head repeatedly in the street.

So you have previous to judge this against then? Do you have a greatest hits?

 

[Puppet Master]

"You're not 16 yet? Ahh **** it, who's gonna find out!"

 

[brixtonA23]

A true and shameful moment. I had to take a phone call after the game in Carlisle and lost track of friends and more importantly the time. Realising that a night in Carlisle looked likely I ran across the road and found a taxi outside the pub. It was booked but if I could quickly go to the toilet he would get me to the station and come back for his booking. Cumbrian men seem to take ages to piss so ran back to the cab and the booking had turned up. Yet for some reason the cab was still there and the driver beckoned me in as they were going to the station and the guy in the front seat had asked him to wait. I sat with two of his grandsons in the back and when we got to Carlisle station I offered to share the fare. He said thanks but no thanks and shortly afterwards I walked onto the concourse to a round of huge applause. Thinking my friends had told the lost man story I bowed somewhat sheepishly. It was strange though that all the people seemed to looking over my shoulder at somebody else.

Mr Dick Knight, thank you again and I still owe you £2.70.

 

[marshy68]

Spanish dave what exactly does he do......

 

[Durlston]

"If I have to work with you and you're on the blob, you could at least mention it instead of biting my head off every half an hour when I say something!"

Ouch.