Thinngs you wish you never said..

[footychick]

I like you a lot.

 

[Return of the Rev]

When the Arsenal were kicking off in the north stand early 80's a big gap opened up with around 40 gooners opposite i stepped into the gap and said "come on then"

 

[The Merry Prankster]

Me "You really remind me of that **** Nicholas Parsons"

Her "I'm his daughter"

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

2 am twenty years ago in Ankara at 3am after a skinful... missed the last bus back to the uni, taxis werent swapping so mate suggested one of us lying in the road to stop a taxi.... 'I'll do it!'..... next car was a police car.

 

[dennis]

The Coca Cola truck was in Toulouse just before christmas. I took a photo of my wife in front of the truck. A german woman then passed me her camera and asked me to do her up against the truck.

 

[brixtonA23]

Sheffield Wednesday Away

37 mins Al, we're one down to Wednesday but we're going to win easily. Can't access my account online. Here's the passwords....what odds? 5-1

37.25 mins Go £60 to win

37.47 mins Bets on

37.48 mins Oh no

38 mins Bollocks

 

[happypig]

"Does this dress make me look fat ?"
"It does a bit, yes"

 

[Easy 10]

In a pub once, I bumped into a girl I used to go to school with and hadn't seen for years. She'd porked up quite a bit since I'd last seen her, and with my mouth two beats ahead of my brain I asked:

"So whens it due then ?"

to which the inevitable answer came

"I'm not pregnant"

"...............ahh, ok. Well hey, its been really nice seeing you. I just have to...errr..."

*cringe*

 

[dennis]

"Does this dress make me look fat ?"
"It does a bit, yes"

this happened to me but i think i was more tactful.

my wife was in a shop trying on a dress for a wedding and said " Does this dress make me look fat?"
I replied " No the dress is fine! It's your arse and stomach that make you look Fat!"

 

[astevens76]

Sheffield Wednesday Away

37 mins Al, we're one down to Wednesday but we're going to win easily. Can't access my account online. Here's the passwords....what odds? 5-1

37.25 mins Go £60 to win

37.47 mins Bets on

37.48 mins Oh no

38 mins Bollocks

Cheers

 

[Helter Skelter]

I'm leaving you in Nottingham.

 

[Janbha]

Yes dear you were fantastic

 

[Stevegull]

Instead of saying why are we focusing on analysing so much in a large work meeting. I boomed out "what the fascination with anal?"

I still laugh when I think about saying it.

 

[pcol]

When we lost 3-0 at the last game of the season at Shrewsbury once we had won the league, I waited behind to meet the players and said to Charlie oatway "great game" to which he replied "we lost 3-0 didn't we" and I said "yeah it doesn't matter though". I still have no idea why I said "great game".

To make matters worse, when I walked past the coach on my way out he had obviously told all the other players who then proceeded to point out the window and laugh.

 

[John Bumlick]

this happened to me but i think i was more tactful.

my wife was in a shop trying on a dress for a wedding and said " Does this dress make me look fat?"
I replied " No the dress is fine! It's your arse and stomach that make you look Fat!"

should have gone for the even more tactful:

"does this dress make me look fat?"
"no, of course not! it's you that makes the dress look fat."

 

[portslade seagull]

' I Do ' about 28yrs ago ... slap sorry dear

 

[Sergio Garcia]

Where's ET?

See IMDB thread

 

[tgretton87]

Argument with a kiddie in a pub when I had just turned 18. Some words were said and he said that I was a **** and I had a face like a knob head I responded with the very childish thats not what your mum said last night and speaking of faces I left hers looking like a painters radio. Turned out his mum died 3 months before! Never before have I ever been headbutted so hard then kicked in the head repeatedly in the street.

To be fair to the guy he did apologise and I apologised to him but goes to show you just dont know. Fair to say im a little more world wise now!

 

[Sheebo]

'Not sure about this Bridcutt..'

In my defence he was rusty first few games and Kish had been awesome...

 

[Worthingite]

Argument with a kiddie in a pub when I had just turned 18. Some words were said and he said that I was a **** and I had a face like a knob head I responded with the very childish thats not what your mum said last night and speaking of faces I left hers looking like a painters radio. Turned out his mum died 3 months before! Never before have I ever been headbutted so hard then kicked in the head repeatedly in the street.

To be fair to the guy he did apologise and I apologised to him but goes to show you just dont know. Fair to say im a little more world wise now!

A mate of mine did something very similar when we were at college, and said mate got launched over a railing, landing in a rubbish skip three floors down. Hysterical, but VERY cringy when the bloke insulted told him his mum had died 5 years earlier....