Think the Mrs has gone Asexual

[catfish]

My ex was usually in one of three stages of readiness, either about to have a period, having a period, or, just finished a period. My sex life was led by the Stars, ie the appearance of Halley's Comet.....she's my ex, and I'm so happy !

You ought to hear her side of the story!

 

[NMH]

All those facepalms at NMH's suggestion demonstrates to me that there seems to be a lot of naivety about women's sexual fantasies on here. I have a proper hardback reference book where rape features in a list of the top nine sexual fantasies that women have.

Exactly - and it's the lad's WIFE he's talking about, so you turds who go all ott can just pull yourself together, together.
Honestly, you really are a precious bunch.

Alright then, I take it back - divorce it is

Wankers.

 

[brightonrock]

Fold it in?

 

[vegster]

You ought to hear her side of the story!

Difficult for her to talk with her mouth full though

 

[pseudonym]

Thinking back to A level biology we were taught that asexual meant you had no sex organs. Surely you had a look before the wedding day- just to check?

apparently not

Urban Dictionary: asexual

 

[Keith Patel]

Been a while, what shall i do?

Rohypnol?

 

[8ace]

Difficult for her to talk with her mouth full though

Did you get your back wheels in

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

Just enjoy the Amex experience.

OK so it may only be a couple of times a month but it can last a few hours, you can fill yer face, make some noise and sometimes be entertained to the point of ecstasy. What's more, your mates can join in too....if fact the Mrs doesn't even have to be there!

Well, it works for me.

 

[Surf's Up]

LOL talk to her - not this lot!!!

This x 10!!

 

[Durlston]

Confiscate her stash of dildo's and if she doesn't jump on you soon, there's got to be something fishy going on.

 

[John Bumlick]

there's got to be something fishy going on.

apparently not.

 

[Giant Seagull]

Maybe you're becoming too boring and predictable.
Do something crazy on the spur of the moment.

Exactly. Take her up the Amex.

 

[Nottseagull]

dildo's

The plural is just dildos. Or maybe it is dildoes. Is there an expert in this department on the board?

 

[fire&skill]

There's a bloke talking about his asexuality on FiveLive right now

 

[Falkor]

My misses is 6months pregnant has not come near me in a sexual manner since we found out.

It happens it sucks but it does.

 

[Lady Gull]

The plural is just dildos. Or maybe it is dildoes. Is there an expert in this department on the board?

It's dildos - but I'm no expert!!! Honest guv!!!

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Have you been taking celery to the bedroom?

Apparently, if she don't cum - you should tickle her bum - with a stick of celery. CELERY,CELERY......

 

[Garage_Doors]

Don't all women go Asexual when given a wedding ring?

 

[Simster]

Don't all women go Asexual when given a wedding ring?

Nope. Only when the kids arrive. So anyone who thinks they're going to get conkers deep regularly by simply not marrying is barking up the wrong tree.

 

[Lady Gull]

Nope. Only when the kids arrive. So anyone who thinks they're going to get conkers deep regularly by simply not marrying is barking up the wrong tree.

LOL LOL kids shouldn't make any difference!!! Tiredness might if you have a new born - this is why you need to get your kids into regular bed time routines in their own beds!!!! So that in the evening you have time together!!!