Things you never hear said by anyone, ever

[Questions]

You wouldn't catch that Simster chap on football sites when he should be working.

 

[pearl]

I'm getting to the ground tonight two hours early because I love handing over fivers for warm, flat beer in plastic cups, nothing to do with the trains .... and I shall probably walk home as I'm fat

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

Three strikers is plenty.

 

[jakarta]

What has been so refreshing about the Brexit Debate is how both sides have been respectful of the opposite point of view and not resorted to abusing one another.

 

[Triggaaar]

Things you never hear said by anyone, ever

Hi Trig, nice to see you.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Wife: I have too many clothes so will have no problem getting ready to go out

 

[Two Professors]

I always have confidence in Stockdale,even when the defence are shocking!

 

[Captain Sensible]

Those tits are too big.

 

[LlcoolJ]

My tits are too big.

My wife keeps saying this despite me telling her repeatedly that that's basically impossible.

 

[Worthingite]

Southern rail are the very model of how a train company should be run. Bonuses all round for Mr Horton and his chums please!

 

[knocky1]

Thanks to words of encouragement from the Australian slip cordon. My early nerves, as I went out for my maiden Test Innings, soon disappeared.

 

[sjamesb3466]

George Carlin 'Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police'

 

[Randsta]

That Katie Hopkins talks some sense

 

[LlcoolJ]

"I was obviously wrong about Theresa May. She seems like such a lovely, caring woman."

 

[LlcoolJ]

Thanks to words of encouragement from the Australian slip cordon. My early nerves, as I went out for my maiden Test Innings, soon disappeared.

"That Piers Morgan was spot on again. We really should have brought back KP."

 

[Bry Nylon]

"Evolving fashion in casual footwear."



Oh.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

My wife keeps saying this despite me telling her repeatedly that that's basically impossible.

Suppose you can't help having moobs. . [emoji6]

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

 

[The Brighton Bear]

I'm so pleased to get back to work after that week off. Three months until I have another holiday and it will be so nice to crack-on without another break.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Twitter, 140 characters, no problem - Paul Barber

 

[NooBHA]

1 . Round up a Posse and saddle the horses

2. I'm saving myself till I get married