The North Stand Chat Arms

[Basil Fawlty]

*smashes Brighton Fan 86 in the face with pint glass*

*lays unconsious on the barroom floor*

*bouncers quickly rush in and grab commander and throw him out off the bar*

 

[Commander]

f*** it. Am I barred?

 

[Basil Fawlty]

f*** it. Am I barred?

COMMANDER IS BARRED!

 

[surrey jim]

fight fight fight

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I have just come in from the shops what the fecks gone on here

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Best of order Gents.

My round what are you having

Anyone doing anything exciting later today

 

[Everest]

Sccrrrreeeeeeccchhhhhh.

*door slams*

Shouts "VIRTUAL TAXI FOR MAGOO"

*waits for 5 seconds*
*people look and stay shtum*

*walks out door mumbling "f***ing wanker"*
*door slams again*
*car starts and screems off*

 

[Basil Fawlty]

a pint of carlsberg please US, if your buying that is.

 

[Hiney]

What a BLOODY SHIT morning that was.

Pint of that West Country Cider please.

*downs cider in one*

And another please.

Anyway, how is everyone?

f***ing Hell Kev, what's wrong with your face?

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Everest

I think Chapman ordered that taxi for a laugh, he's not around at the moment

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Hiney

How is the wonderful and exciting world of mortgages

 

[Hiney]

Bloody awful this morning mate.

Lenders f***ing things up left right and centre

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Anyone feeling pissed yet. I've only had a couple, can't really drink very well at lunchtime.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Lenders fecking up, you don't say

 

[Gazwag]

Pint of larger please barman, and some change for the pool table, who wants a game then

 

[Monsieur Leclerc]

It is I! Leclerc.

Un vin rouge, s'il vous plait.

 

[Trigger]

What a load of shit, this boozer doesn't sell Bombay Mix... Pfft...

 

[surrey jim]

another Guiness please

*hands Trigger Bombay mix,
get snacks from outside, much cheaper than the extorsionate prices here, (dont tell the staff though)

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Stick something on the jukebox.

The barmaids got quite big tits

 

[Monsieur Leclerc]

I have brought along, my good friends. Rene, Yvette and Officer Crabtree.

General Von Klinkerhoffen, couldn't make it.