The Monday Moan: Wind up merchants

[The Large One]

Who are the individuals off the telly who really get on your tits? The ones who wind you up and find so annoying that you find their pointlessness so unspeakable and make you incandescent with rage; the ones that really f***ing grate and make you want to grind your teeth and kick your telly in?

Rules: No politicians, no Falmer debate, no groups - only individuals. I'll start.

Jamie Oliver

 

[jmc]

Ant & Dick

 

[Soton Seagull]

Vernon Kay

 

[Icy Gull]

Fred Dinage or is that too obvious and easy a target?

 

[Gary Nelson]

Ant and Dec are quality.

(jmc is CLEARLY over 30...)

 

[The Large One]

Ant and Dec are quality.

(jmc is CLEARLY over 30...)

I met them a couple of times when we used to do their official SMTV magazine, and I can confirm that they are, in fact, a pair of twats.

 

[Rougvie]

Nicky Campbell.

Its a byword for ****

 

[Hungry Joe.]

Well'ard

 

[The Wookiee]

Richard Madeley - smug git

 

[Lolly]

June Sapong from T4

 

[Dover]

Phil Collins

 

[Hiney]

Deirdre Rashid's Mum off Coronation Street

SHUT THE f*** UP you irritating, interfering old HAG

 

[Blackadder]

Graham Norton.

 

[Gary Nelson]

I used to like Norton but in the last 2 years he's really got up my arse.

'Oh look at me, Im a f***ing queer and thats all I ever go on about'


n.b thats clearly Graham Norton talking there and not me.

 

[Blackadder]

Has he really got up your arse Gary?

 

[Northstander]

Graham Norton - Mincing Twat!! We know you are gay, don't advertise the fact in the way you mince about thinking it's funny! It AINT!!!!

 

[pasty]

Bruce Forsyth

RETIRE MAN !

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

Alfie Moon / Shane Richie.

Can't act, thinks he's the bees knees.

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

Davina McCall.

I hate her with a passion.

 

[Gwylan]

I met them a couple of times when we used to do their official SMTV magazine, and I can confirm that they are, in fact, a pair of twats.

Hey. I think my Palace-supporting mate Andy worked on that, I remember he had to explain to me who Ant & Dec were. Did your paths cross?

My vote for most irritating person is Cat Deeley. A woman of no discernible talent, intelligence or wit. We can't even say she's got where is she through her looks, as she's not particularly good-looking.

Why, oh why?