Polly: It's Kurt.
Basil: Yes?
Polly: He's potted… the shrimp.
Basil: What?
Polly: He's potted the shrimps!
Basil: Shrimps? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly.
[Basil turns back to lead the Twitchens off.]
Basil: Now, eh, would you—
Polly: He's soused!
[Everyone turns back to stare at her outburst.]
Polly: … the herrings.
Basil: What're you on about?
Polly: He's pickled the onions, and he smashed the eggs in his cups…
[Polly mimes a dizzy drunk with rolling eyes.]
Polly: [singing] under the table…
[Basil turns at the Twitchens.]
Basil: Excuse me.
[He leans over to Polly.]
Basil: [whispering] Have you been drinking?!
Polly: No, not me!
Basil: [whispering] Well, will you behave yourself?!
gattered
Gazebo'd
George Best
Gnomed
Gone
gubbed
guttered
Hammered
hosed
Inebriated
Kunted
Lagered
Leathered
legless
McCammoned
Ming monged
Mongoled
Mongolised
Monroed
Mortal
Mullered
Muntered
off his trolley
off his nut
Off yer pickle
Oliver Twist
one over the eight
out of your tree
Paraletic
pickled the onions
Pie Eyed
Pished
Pixilated
Plastered
Plundered
Plunderfucked
Popeyed
Potted the shrimp
railed
rat-arsed
ratted
Ruined
Shanted
shit-faced
Slaughtered
Slightly worse for wear
Sloshed
Smashed
smashed the eggs in his cups
soused the herings
Spackered
Spangelled
Spannered
Squiffy
Steaming
Stomach Pumped
Talking Welsh
Terryed
Three sheets to the wind
Tiddly
Tipsy
Tired and emotional
Tommy Trented
Trented
Trojaned
Trollied
Trousered
Twatted
Wankered
Well discombobulated (innit)
Wobbly booted