Stupid things women say

[Notters]

A lovely lady at work organised a team meal out, booked the table, sent the invites out and wondered why only 2 people (both women) said yes.

She has organised the meal for Friday 18th June, 7.30pm

Same with my best mate's girlfriend's birthday party. It was organised a month or so ago. I pointed out the issue to him and he was seething for days!

 

[Box of Frogs]

My son was looking at something on Ebay yesterday that was collect only.

He asked where Norfolk was - without a seconds hesitation, my wife piped up with "It's in Suffolk isn't it"?!?!

 

[Easy 10]

Last New Years Eve we had some guests round, and I lit the chimnea so we could roast some chestnuts on it. The wife was in the shed at the back of the garden, and had been rummaging around for ages, so I called out:

"You alright love ? What are you DOING ?"
"Will you just hang on a minute !" she says, all flustered. "I'm trying to get a LOG out".

Cue me and the guests falling about laughing.

 

[papajaff]

Going back to 1983 after the Albion had beaten Sheffield Wednesday in the semi final; my mate Geoff took his wife to the pub (the White Knight) in Crawley and there were banners saying 'Well Done Seagulls'!

She said, and no word of a lie, "that's disgusting having Seagulls on the menu".

He came back with "yes dear, they do them medium rare as well"

 

[OzMike]

My brothers' wife on the birth of her first child when told he was 8lbs replied," I can give you pound now and fifty pence a week till it's paid off."

 

[Arthritic Toe]

Apalling sexist thread, however..

A friend of mine had a dog called Andy. Coincidentally, someone phoned and asked for Andy (it was a wrong number). She replied "No sorry, he's out for his walk at the moment. Call back in half an hour."

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Same with my best mate's girlfriend's birthday party. It was organised a month or so ago. I pointed out the issue to him and he was seething for days!

Its my 5th Wedding Anniversary apparently we are going to breakfast at the dogs..........and out on the Satdee instead.

 

[Stat Brother]

Apalling sexist thread, however..

A friend of mine had a dog called Andy. Coincidentally, someone phoned and asked for Andy (it was a wrong number). She replied "No sorry, he's out for his walk at the moment. Call back in half an hour."

I laughed more at that than any 'Joke de Jour' thread, this year.
(Admittedly it was only a mild chucklette, but sadly the point still stands).

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

At a Brighton game the fans started singing 'blue army'. I told my ex that something shocking has occured so all the fans were singing 'Blimey, blimey, blimey'. She even joined in.


I also told the same girl that Steve McManamon was actually called Steve McManamanamanamon but they shortened it so his surname would fit on the back of the England shirt.