Stupid things women say

[upthealbion1970]

Are joe cole and Ashley cole brothers

how can Rooney play for two teams

 

[thebazillionaire]

My Mum to a close family friend " oh Alan, there is a guy in our local pub that is a spitting image of you.....he is a right ugly bastard too" Classic....she was completely oblivious to how she was being rude

 

[Durlston]

"It must be a difficult game against the USA in the World Cup as they're so good at American Football."

 

[dannyboy]

Are joe cole and Ashley cole brothers

how can Rooney play for two teams

ive had exactly the same ones.

also watching the snooker years ago with an old girlfriend she says oh eddie charlton didnt he win the world cup with england

 

[dannyboy]

also watching a documentary about sharks with another ex . the narrator says that sharks can detect one drop of blood in an olympic size swimming pool. she looks confused and says that she doesnt understand . so i try to explain about 5 times. she then says look , sharks dont go in swimming pools so whats he talking about.

 

[Gwylan]

Are joe cole and Ashley cole brothers

About 30 years ago, my dad was watching Sussex v Lancashire when he was approached by some bloke who said "I can't tell David Lloyd and Clive Lloyd apart, which one's which? So, blokes are capable of stupid comments too.

(My dad's answer BTW, was that Clive was the one in glasses).

 

[The screamer]

this is brill on today

my gf is doing driving lessons with BSM and her dad has took her out a few times WITHOUT insurance, i have big views on this as a few years ago a family friend's son was hit and killed by an uninsured driver- so with the serious bit aside i was telling her this she got really angry as women do when they hear stuff they dont want to

"shut up I'm not doing anything wrong, its completely different to the guy who hit him, I've committed no crime here"

now is it me or is driving without insurance and a learner without L plates still illegal since the tories got in?

 

[The Lemming Stomper]

me..' it's nice that Heath Ledger got his oscar posthumously'

ex bird..'why, couldn't he make it' !!!!

 

[Half Time Pies]

Bird at work asked me the other day "what martial art did 'karate' kid do?"

 

[ashlehh]

As a women I will put my hands up and say I do say really stupid things. Example:
I was looking out the window at this pound where these ducklings where underneath its mother, i turned to my friend and said ' aww look, they are getting milk from her. that's so cute' he burst out laughing. That night i realised... ducks don't have nipples and give milk! duhhh.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I took a g/f up The Goldstone once, and she asked me how much the bloke between the sticks, who had to keep the ball out, got paid? I said about five hundred a week, and she replied, wouldn't it be cheaper to hardboard over it?

 

[smelly]

"it's only a game"

 

[Spun Cuppa]

As a women I will put my hands up and say I do say really stupid things. Example:
I was looking out the window at this pound where these ducklings where underneath its mother, i turned to my friend and said ' aww look, they are getting milk from her. that's so cute' he burst out laughing. That night i realised... ducks don't have nipples and give milk! duhhh.

:floodgatesopeningsmilie:

 

[Ringmer Seagull]

A few seasons ago I had the misfortune to sit beside someone who insisted on bringing his young daughter (who had little interest in the game) along to home matches:

Her: Thats handball

Him: No is isnt

Her : It is look , he handled the ball

Him: Thats a throw in.

 

[WATFORD zero]

I took a g/f up The Goldstone once

 

[Juan Albion]

As a women I will put my hands up and say I do say really stupid things. Example:
I was looking out the window at this pound where these ducklings where underneath its mother, i turned to my friend and said ' aww look, they are getting milk from her. that's so cute' he burst out laughing. That night i realised... ducks don't have nipples and give milk! duhhh.

Ah yes, the quaint old village duck pound where all the strays are kept to make sure that nasty old fox doesn't get them.

 

[defrocked priest]

She insists she's horny and "It's okay I'm on my period." she says. Oh, and the mess you have to clean up afterwards.Like the shower scene from Psycho.Christ on a bike the things I do for her.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

A woman about five rows behind me in C block last season...

'He was MILES offside from that throw-in...'

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

I was watching the footy tonight with a girl she said something along the lines of "I thought captains always take centres/free kicks/penalties etc"

Really?!

 

[Leekbrookgull]

You are inside the house CLEANING THE WINDOWS,and you get 'what are you doing' ? Reply 'can't you see i am cutting the grass'