[Football] Strangest conversation you've overheard at a football match

[osgood]

There's two blokes who sit near me who have only recently appeared in those seats, perhaps half season ticket holders. They've spent significant parts of each game talking about anything and everything except the game itself. We've had best route by train to Oxford, migratory patterns of geese and how few were observed flying over East Sussex this year, whether the word "shingle" in the beach context and "shingles" in the illness context have the same origin etc etc etc. Oddest one I've heard them have so far was management of traffic flow on different A roads they'd experienced - literally most of the first half against Palace.

Made me wonder, what's the strangest conversation you've overheard at a match?

And is it irrational to find it really irritating?

This sounds familiar !
Used to have 2 sitting in front of me in family stand, Block E1A, Row W
Really Irritating , seems that they went just for a good old Natter

 

[Sirnormangall]

There’s a woman who sits next to me who doesn’t stop talking and prattles on about all sorts of stuff. I find it really annoying as it’s a distraction from the football, but I’m not quite at the point yet where it wants to make me divorce her.

 

[clapham_gull]

A fascinating story about a famous rock guitarist and his ex-wife (by an infamous ex-member of this board) but I'm not posting it on here.

 

[Gabbafella]

I may’ve heard someone describe Locadia as a footballer.

Was it Locadia? I can't think of anyone else who would spread such lies.

 

[Weststander]

Was it Locadia? I can't think of anyone else who would spread such lies.

Even he couldn’t be that stupid, shirley?

 

[The Kid Frankie]

Anyone who had the honour of sitting near big chavy Lee Withdean in Block H will presumably have a smorgasbord of options.

My highlight was listening to a relatively racist rant where he’d managed to get the EDL confused with EDF.

I remember him. Absolute plank. Was never playing with a full deck.

 

[Dave the OAP]

There is some bloke who stands where I do who will insist on boooooing trossard…….actually that may well be me

 

[Juan Albion]

Not a conversation but I remember an away game at the old Coventry ground where a woman sat in the away end reading a book all the way through the game. We weren’t very good back then but even so.

Clearly a wrong'un. She should have been knitting.

 

[The Clamp]

Use to have a married couple behind me at Withdean who talked about Rugby a lot.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Nothing beats a conversation I heard between two blokes in a small train carriage on the way home to Fav about 25 years ago. The carriage was silent apart from....


Just got back from holiday.










Oh yeah?










Yeah.............Lanzerotti.







Lanzerotti?







Yeah.........Lovely it was.








Oh yeah?







Yeah, lovely.......Lanzerotti.

 

[Russconha]

We want are leccy to be back British

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

That’s a pretty impressive geographical ignorance right there. Perhaps not quite as bad, but the two blokes (father and son) behind me at the Halifax V Grimsby game last week were having a lengthy chat about son’s upcoming to Gibraltar. Not withstanding the bloke’s decision to holiday in Gibraltar, the conversation went something like this.

“Oh, Gibraltar. That’s one of those volcanic islands in the Atlantic, isn’t it”.

“Yeah, that’s right. Think it’s, like, between Tenerife and Malta or something.”

Having been, with work, to Gibraltar many times, I couldn’t help chip in (I’d chatted to them about the football a few times already that night, so I wasn’t being a total know it all dick).

“Sorry mate”, I said. “You’ve got that a bit wrong. Gibraltar’s not a Spanish island. It’s British, and it’s connected to mainland Spain - it’s nowhere near Tenerife or Malta (which ain’t Spanish either).

Lad looked at me like I’d just told him that grass was blue and the sky was green.

“No mate, YOU’RE wrong, I looked it up on Google Maps and everything”.

I’m not quite sure what he thought he was looking at, but I apologised for my mistake and wished him a lovely holiday.

I was sat at Withdean with my brother discussing the upcoming Shrewsbury away game which I was going to take him to. 'It'll take about an hour and a half.....' at which point a chap in the row in front, swiftly turned round and interjected enthusiastically 'No way! There is absolutely no way you can get there that quickly, it's impossible!' He looked particularly crestfallen when I pointed out I lived in Liverpool.

 

[Nitram]

Much more my type of conversation.

Of course, Middlesbrough is Yorkshire. But it all gets very muddied by ceremonial counties (North Riding) administration (was Cleveland now, I think, on its own) and most importantly, whether Yorkshire actually wants them or not.

My home town, I could bore you for ages on the details

 

[Official Old Man]

Not a strange conversation but our 'group' used to discuss that evenings dinner the wifes were cooking, mine was always jacket potatoes with butter and cheese. This week we discussed the fact we couldn't remember the last time we went to a match in daylight and went home for dinner.

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Almost completely OT but I was walking through Eastbourne on Wednesday and went past a car with very loud talking coming from it. As I got closer, it was clearly a telephone conversation on very loud bluetooth so as I walked past, I got to hear the bloke getting severely bollocked for not being a good parent. One of those times between you are torn between running away before you cringe your colon out and wanting to loiter to hear the rest.

 

[Insel affe]

I once was sat behind two middle aged blokes, who spent about half an hour discussing ear and nose trimmers, one of the blokes said he used a razor on his ears, I then realised he kept dabbing his ear lobe with a tissue, yet sure enough he had cut himself shaving his ears.

 

[jcdenton08]

I'm more irritated by moron fans who go week in and week out and simply don't understand football, the rules or basic fundamentals of the sport

 

[Insel affe]

I'm more irritated by moron fans who go week in and week out and simply don't understand football, the rules or basic fundamentals of the sport

So 95% of the stadium then

 

[Rodney Thomas]

What I find just as annoying as random conversations are the football “know-it-alls” who insist on explaining tactics formations etc. in a loud voice. We have one of those just a few seats away - the best one was when he was insisting the linesman had not given offside when he should have - his diatribe must have lasted a good 5 minutes until some one turned round and said the ball had come direct from a goal kick - “so what” was the response

I had one of these at the Withdean. He wasn't so much a know it all himself but a know it alls mate. the opposition were taking a throw in and it was deadly quite. The guy chose this moment to scream OFFSIDE and got promptly laughed at/heckled!

 

[TheJasperCo]

Three fans near me, debating (at length) what the couple in front of them were talking about.

Considering the couple in front of them were speaking French, and the three mates could barely speak coherent English, I found it quite bizarre all round.

Would be even more surreal if the French supporters were actually taking the piss out of the trio behind them, in their native tongue.