[Football] Strangest conversation you've overheard at a football match

[Happy Exile]

There's two blokes who sit near me who have only recently appeared in those seats, perhaps half season ticket holders. They've spent significant parts of each game talking about anything and everything except the game itself. We've had best route by train to Oxford, migratory patterns of geese and how few were observed flying over East Sussex this year, whether the word "shingle" in the beach context and "shingles" in the illness context have the same origin etc etc etc. Oddest one I've heard them have so far was management of traffic flow on different A roads they'd experienced - literally most of the first half against Palace.

Made me wonder, what's the strangest conversation you've overheard at a match?

And is it irrational to find it really irritating?

 

[Bedsex]

Years ago at an away game at Derby, 2 fellow Brighton fans behind me were having a debate as to which county Derby was in. One argued that it was Leicestershire, before they both agreed that it was Nottinghamshire [emoji2357]

 

[Weststander]

I may’ve heard someone describe Locadia as a footballer.

 

[Blatter]

i may’ve heard someone describe locadia as a footballer.

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

There's two blokes who sit near me who have only recently appeared in those seats, perhaps half season ticket holders. They've spent significant parts of each game talking about anything and everything except the game itself. We've had best route by train to Oxford, migratory patterns of geese and how few were observed flying over East Sussex this year, whether the word "shingle" in the beach context and "shingles" in the illness context have the same origin etc etc etc. Oddest one I've heard them have so far was management of traffic flow on different A roads they'd experienced - literally most of the first half against Palace.

Made me wonder, what's the strangest conversation you've overheard at a match?

And is it irrational to find it really irritating?

It's certainly not irrational to find that kind of behavior irritating. The odd bit of non football conversation here and there is acceptable, but wittering on for much of the match about all and sundry is a distinct no no. You're there too watch the match, so watch it and feel involved!

 

[Guinness Boy]

Years ago at an away game at Derby, 2 fellow Brighton fans behind me were having a debate as to which county Derby was in. One argued that it was Leicestershire, before they both agreed that it was Nottinghamshire [emoji2357]

I did have a conversation when I was much younger on the train on the way to an away game oop North as to whether Middlesboro was in Yorkshire as said county used to play cricket there.

This is bettter.

 

[Muzzman]

Palace game just gone, the dude behind me regaled us all with the awesome deal he got for his TV package... bloody annoying it was too; he was lucky he stopped harping on about it when he did.

 

[Whitechapel]

Anyone who had the honour of sitting near big chavy Lee Withdean in Block H will presumably have a smorgasbord of options.

My highlight was listening to a relatively racist rant where he’d managed to get the EDL confused with EDF.

 

[dadams2k11]

I miss Ernest when threads like this pop up.

There would be a wonderful thread on purchasing a half season ticket, and a nosey fan listening in on his and his friends convos about traffic, geese, trains, and shingle(s).

 

[surrey jim]

Anyone who had the honour of sitting near big chavy Lee Withdean in Block H will presumably have a smorgasbord of options.

My highlight was listening to a relatively racist rant where he’d managed to get the EDL confused with EDF.

My 'highlight' of that chap was an away match in November/ December in Carlisle when he turned up in a pair of flip flops and a t-shirt as someone told him it was warm in Carlisle. It was far from warm and pissed it down most of the match as I recall.

 

[Eeyore]

I did have a conversation when I was much younger on the train on the way to an away game oop North as to whether Middlesboro was in Yorkshire as said county used to play cricket there.

This is bettter.

Much more my type of conversation.

Of course, Middlesbrough is Yorkshire. But it all gets very muddied by ceremonial counties (North Riding) administration (was Cleveland now, I think, on its own) and most importantly, whether Yorkshire actually wants them or not.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I think their biggest sin is not having conversations about everything in existence and the kitchen sink but not paying attention to the football match that they paid, or someone paid, for them to see.

 

[Springal]

There are 2 blokes who I think are brothers who were in the WSU sat behind me since the stadium opening but have not been there this season. They would literally talk the WHOLE game about anything apart from football. Used to drive people around them absolutely mad. Maybe it was them and they've moved.

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

A few years ago, two blokes had a conversation, very loudly in the family stand, about the wives of friends who had set up home together and come out as lesbians. I am sure they didn't mind too much and 'I would' was mentioned a couple of times. My children were small and I remember hoping there would not be awkward questions after, fortunately their concentration must have been on the game and they remained unaware. Not so much the conversation, but the setting for that kind of talk, with tons of children around, was a bit weird.

 

[Creaky]

What I find just as annoying as random conversations are the football “know-it-alls” who insist on explaining tactics formations etc. in a loud voice. We have one of those just a few seats away - the best one was when he was insisting the linesman had not given offside when he should have - his diatribe must have lasted a good 5 minutes until some one turned round and said the ball had come direct from a goal kick - “so what” was the response

 

[keaton]

I must say I prefer inane chit-chat to idiots shouting about a sport they don't seem to understand

 

[Barham's tash]

And is it irrational to find it really irritating?

Yes. When you go with mates, whether that be one or more, it’s often typical that in later life you’re probably only catching up for the first time since last match or even longer and the football therefore becomes a sideshow to chewing the cud. Twas ever thus.

Modern football fans will kid you that we all sit there talking false nines or managerial tactical mishaps but in reality so not the case!

 

[Poojah]

Years ago at an away game at Derby, 2 fellow Brighton fans behind me were having a debate as to which county Derby was in. One argued that it was Leicestershire, before they both agreed that it was Nottinghamshire [emoji2357]

That’s a pretty impressive geographical ignorance right there. Perhaps not quite as bad, but the two blokes (father and son) behind me at the Halifax V Grimsby game last week were having a lengthy chat about son’s upcoming to Gibraltar. Not withstanding the bloke’s decision to holiday in Gibraltar, the conversation went something like this.

“Oh, Gibraltar. That’s one of those volcanic islands in the Atlantic, isn’t it”.

“Yeah, that’s right. Think it’s, like, between Tenerife and Malta or something.”

Having been, with work, to Gibraltar many times, I couldn’t help chip in (I’d chatted to them about the football a few times already that night, so I wasn’t being a total know it all dick).

“Sorry mate”, I said. “You’ve got that a bit wrong. Gibraltar’s not a Spanish island. It’s British, and it’s connected to mainland Spain - it’s nowhere near Tenerife or Malta (which ain’t Spanish either).

Lad looked at me like I’d just told him that grass was blue and the sky was green.

“No mate, YOU’RE wrong, I looked it up on Google Maps and everything”.

I’m not quite sure what he thought he was looking at, but I apologised for my mistake and wished him a lovely holiday.

 

[joydivisionovengloves]

Not a conversation but I remember an away game at the old Coventry ground where a woman sat in the away end reading a book all the way through the game. We weren’t very good back then but even so.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

The family of 5 behind me who leave on 79 minutes every week, so “ It’s 79 so come on let’s go”