Son getting bullied at school

[Puppet Master]

4!? Little bastards... "reading is for girls", too. What are the parents teaching them?

 

[supaseagull]

There is and only ever has been one way to get bully's off your back, regardless of age. You need to teach your boy to stand up for himself and do it soon before this permanently affects his confidence.

Sorry but that's absolute rubbish.

I got told to stand up for myself when I was being bullied at school and all that happened was that I got beaten up.

It's that sort of attitude is the reason why kids never want to tell their parents they're being bullied.

What the OP has done is spot on- well done.

 

[Puppet Master]

Sorry but that's absolute rubbish.

I got told to stand up for myself when I was being bullied at school and all that happened was that I got beaten up.

It's that sort of attitude is the reason why kids never want to tell their parents they're being bullied.

What the OP has done is spot on- well done.

It's a good point. I went to Longhill which was full of horrible little brats and everything was covered in spit. Absolute shithole. Anyways the bullying was merciless and none of the teachers wanted to know. So one day I took my dad's advice and got the ringleader on his own and gave him a good hiding. Not only did I get severely done for that (of course) but the repercussions were awful. I had half of Woodingdean's youth out for my blood after that incident for YEARS, as in waiting around outside my house and everything. Problem is with these bully kids, they always hunt in packs.

 

[Nibble]

Sorry but that's absolute rubbish.

I got told to stand up for myself when I was being bullied at school and all that happened was that I got beaten up.

It's that sort of attitude is the reason why kids never want to tell their parents they're being bullied.

What the OP has done is spot on- well done.

Perhaps you should have beenbetter at standing up to them. I was bullied once by a few kids at boarding school. Teachers don't care, no parents around to blub to so just waited til the next time they did it in a maths class. Stood up, chinned the biggest one off the back of his chair. I got gated but was worth the hassle to end it. I wouldn't recommend a four year old actually, that is quite young. See what happens.

 

[User removed 4]

Perhaps you should have beenbetter at standing up to them. I was bullied once by a few kids at boarding school. Teachers don't care, no parents around to blub to so just waited til the next time they did it in a maths class. Stood up, chinned the biggest one off the back of his chair. I got gated but was worth the hassle to end it. I wouldn't recommend a four year old actually, that is quite young. See what happens.

Not everyone is the same nibble ( this is a genuine comment, not a snide one !)

 

[Nibble]

Not everyone is the same nibble ( this is a genuine comment, not a snide one !)

True. I didn't clock the age either. 4 years old is not an age to be swinging punches.

 

[dadams2k11]

I told my son to hit the biggest one when he started a new school 2 years back (he was 8), 5 kids hitting, kicking and spitting at him for being the new boy. As soon as he twated the biggest one he never got picked on for being the new boy, in fact he is quite popular at school now. I always tell him to stand up for himself and if anyone does something to him then do it back twice as hard.

Some people wont agree but its worked.

 

[Nibble]

I told my son to hit the biggest one when he started a new school 2 years back (he was 8), 5 kids hitting, kicking and spitting at him for being the new boy. As soon as he twated the biggest one he never got picked on for being the new boy, in fact he is quite popular at school now. I always tell him to stand up for himself and if anyone does something to him then do it back twice as hard.

Some people wont agree but its worked.

I agree with this.

 

[Berty23]

I had a phone call at lunchtime and I don't think the school should do anymore at this stage. His teacher was great and explained everything going on. My son explained to me this evening all the activities they had done today about playing properly and how bullies et in trouble etc. he seems really assured and has promise if anything happens to tell us. I had a great email from the head saying he had heard and I should rest assured no form of bullying is accepted and will be dealt with whatever it takes. I know the head and trust him.

My son seems better this pm and is keen on learning karate as it sounded fun. He has not made the link with the bullies.

I feel much better than the emotional mess which wrote the first post.

Cheers all.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I had a phone call at lunchtime and I don't think the school should do anymore at this stage. His teacher was great and explained everything going on. My son explained to me this evening all the activities they had done today about playing properly and how bullies et in trouble etc. he seems really assured and has promise if anything happens to tell us. I had a great email from the head saying he had heard and I should rest assured no form of bullying is accepted and will be dealt with whatever it takes. I know the head and trust him.

My son seems better this pm and is keen on learning karate as it sounded fun. He has not made the link with the bullies.

I feel much better than the emotional mess which wrote the first post.

Cheers all.

Great stuff. Fingers crossed.

 

[Questions]

You have to be care about lashing out at bullying kids at school. I did it in my first year and hit one kid over the head with a chair and knocked him unconscious. Trouble was it ended my teaching career there and then.

 

[dreaming spires]

What is the teacher doing to show recognition for those children's efforts in school?

It may not be easy to swallow, but the four children you speak of need as much support as your son. It doesn't help for you to relate to them as 'four little shits.' They were probably royally pissed off that your son got recognition for his reading and they didn't. They probably don't get recognised for many things and this is another piece of evidence to add to the pile. So how they are dealing with your son is part of how they are coping with the hurt they are feeling. It's their immature way of feeling powerful after feeling disempowered.

In the end, it's going to take them feeling validated and respected as learners and as people - and to be able to do this without hurting others - for this problem to be properly sorted.

I have enormous sympathy for your son. It must be so hard to go to school each day and not feel safe. At the same time, it is clear that those other children are not so lucky as to come from homes where learning is valued, and parents are responsive, as what your son enjoys.

Total utter namby pamby, liberal crap!

They ARE shits, and bully's, who need to learn bullying is wrong, not explained away, because they live in a council house, with shaved heads and live off benefits.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Total utter namby pamby, liberal crap!

They ARE shits, and bully's, who need to learn bullying is wrong, not explained away, because they live in a council house, with shaved heads and live off benefits.

Yes, because they're really going to listen to people, who relate to them as 'shits' and 'bullies,' moralising about how bullying is wrong.

Remind me, when is the last time you heartily adopted the recommendations of someone who related to you as a 'shit'? Like most people, those kids are only ever going to take on board the ideas of people who can build a rapport with them, who can see them as capable of achieving more than the unacceptable behaviour they are exhibiting now.

You dismiss what I say as namby-pamby but if something isn't done to reconnect those kids to reading and other forms of learning now, including how to get along with others, then that's our tax wasted on resourcing their education, not to mention welfare benefits and crime-fighting in the future. And you want them to learn that bullying is wrong. Well, guess what? They already know that what they are doing to the OP's son is wrong. Doesn't stop them from doing it, does it? In the end, it's much easier to get a four year old to be kind to others when they sense that there are supportive adults around who are already showing that attribute to them. You talk of 'explaining away' the children's misbehaviour but it is important that people do deal with what's causing their hurt in the first place. As the phrase goes: hurt people hurt people.

 

[Gullys Cats]

I spoke to his teacher this morning and she was great. She gave me a list of things they are going to do today and she has promised to give me a call later. There was absolutely no denial tere was a problem and she was shocked he was being targeted because she thought he was popular. Sadly it seems this has all been triggered by his award for his reading a couple of weeks ago. Apparently something similar happened to a different boy when he got one. I did feel assured she would deal with it and my son promised to tell me or his teacher if anything happened.

The really odd thing was talking to his teacher I nearly started crying. You can't imagine how hard something like this is. Fingers crossed it will be sorted.

Thanks all

Berty

Hello Berty,

Sorry to hear about your son, it is good he has told you, I hope things get better now you have spoken to the school.

Keep your chin up.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Hello Berty,

Sorry to hear about your son, it is good he has told you, I hope things get better now you have spoken to the school.

Keep your chin up.

I think the OP has done very well. Through the example he has set as a father, his son can see that problems can be resolved (or at least action taken) through constructive conversation rather than violence. And that positive things can happen from disclosing things to someone loving who will take them seriously rather than always trying to bottle them up. Oh, and hopefully the son will have found a new hobby that will support to be confident around others.

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

You have to be care about lashing out at bullying kids at school. I did it in my first year and hit one kid over the head with a chair and knocked him unconscious. Trouble was it ended my teaching career there and then.

 

[HovaGirl]

Yes, because they're really going to listen to people, who relate to them as 'shits' and 'bullies,' moralising about how bullying is wrong.

Remind me, when is the last time you heartily adopted the recommendations of someone who related to you as a 'shit'? Like most people, those kids are only ever going to take on board the ideas of people who can build a rapport with them, who can see them as capable of achieving more than the unacceptable behaviour they are exhibiting now.

You dismiss what I say as namby-pamby but if something isn't done to reconnect those kids to reading and other forms of learning now, including how to get along with others, then that's our tax wasted on resourcing their education, not to mention welfare benefits and crime-fighting in the future. And you want them to learn that bullying is wrong. Well, guess what? They already know that what they are doing to the OP's son is wrong. Doesn't stop them from doing it, does it? In the end, it's much easier to get a four year old to be kind to others when they sense that there are supportive adults around who are already showing that attribute to them. You talk of 'explaining away' the children's misbehaviour but it is important that people do deal with what's causing their hurt in the first place. As the phrase goes: hurt people hurt people.

There are two sides to every coin and what you say is probably true, but you are making certain assumptions about their home life. Our concern here is with Bertie's boy. Bullying is not the answer to a horrible home life. Hopefully, the teachers and Head at Bertie Jnr's school will have words with the parents of the other boys to nip this behaviour in the bud. It is very difficult to break into a cycle like this, which has probably gone on for so many generations, that parents, grandparents and even great-grandparents do not understand or see the problems they have created.

 

[BadFish]

Total utter namby pamby, liberal crap!

They ARE shits, and bully's, who need to learn bullying is wrong, not explained away, because they live in a council house, with shaved heads and live off benefits.

How would you teach them that bullying is wrong?

 

[BadFish]

There are two sides to every coin and what you say is probably true, but you are making certain assumptions about their home life. Our concern here is with Bertie's boy. Bullying is not the answer to a horrible home life. Hopefully, the teachers and Head at Bertie Jnr's school will have words with the parents of the other boys to nip this behaviour in the bud. It is very difficult to break into a cycle like this, which has probably gone on for so many generations, that parents, grandparents and even great-grandparents do not understand or see the problems they have created.

This cycle can be broken if the students are offered positive role models that they can respect.They are not going to respect people who see them as little shits and give up on them as soon as look at them. At 4 years old there is much hope for these kids and it is far to young to be writing them off as little shits and bullies. Thank f*** for teachers who know their jobs and how to get through to kids like these.

 

[Berty23]

This cycle can be broken if the students are offered positive role models that they can respect.They are not going to respect people who see them as little shits and give up on them as soon as look at them. At 4 years old there is much hope for these kids and it is far to young to be writing them off as little shits and bullies. Thank f*** for teachers who know their jobs and how to get through to kids like these.

Teachers have a very hard job with them that is for sure. One of the kids wears ill fitting uniform in tatters. Yesterday I saw the parent buy 10 lotto scratch cards. Parents need to take responsibility too