Son getting bullied at school

[banjo]

It is four boys. Their parents Are horrible. Two little weasel blokes drop off two of them. I am tempted to ask them if they think it is acceptable. Will let the school try and sort it first.

I have two kids alot older and can understand how you feel, probably feel the same as you, but sensible head on better to talk to the teachers.

 

[Sussax]

Sorry mate but at 4 years old I can't see kids ganging up on one child ,it's a very delicate situation obviously but at that age I don't think you need to worry to much he'll toughen up when his confidence grows , if he comes to you aged 7 to 14 and he says he's being bullied then more serious steps would need to be taken

His confidence won't grow, if he's being bullied?

 

[Berty23]

minister for education?

Not far off.

 

[Northstandite]

Have had this experience with our kids.

Write a polite but heart felt letter to the head, and a copy to the teacher, popping them into the school, so there are no doubts it was delivered.

Give them your mobile no.

In the letter name precisely the types of situations and times, the names of the kid upsetting yours, and that you feel this is far more than normal rough and tumble / school fears by your child.

Meet up with the teacher at least, asap.

I found this did the trick, and the school were fantastic.

You won't regret taking control. You will feel better the moment you drop the letter off, and once things are moving.

The August birth point you make is very valid. Your little one is 20% younger and smaller than many of his peers.
I bet you wish you were there with them to protect your loved one!

 

[Perkino]

Bullying happens in all walks of life even in the work place, adults are often kinder in the way they dish it out than children but putting others down for an individuals own gain is fairly common.

Speak with the head, and if possible find one of the bullies parents and have a chat

 

[terryberry1]

Not far off.

Are you theresa may?

 

[tedebear]

Just a thought but sometimes my son (who is now 7) makes things worse than they really are at bedtime - he gets tired and emotional, and sometimes and its hard to see the wood for the trees as I take everything directly to heart and get emotional myself. Certainly what your son says must be taken up with the head teacher but what I'd also do is talk to other parents at the school gate and when you pick him up, see if there are other parents suffering the same thing, then you can guage the extent of it. 4 is very young for that type of behaviour and generally will come from boys who have older siblings who they are learning it from. The school needs to split the pack up and the parents of the 4 boys need to be brought into school and corrected if it does turn out to be the case. However a little observation, other views needs to happen first to make sure it isn't something else less sinister. Bullying is an awful label to stick on someone at 4, so make really sure you're right. If you are - go ahead full steam!

 

[JCL666]

It happens. You have to make sure that the teachers are all over it, and also that your son is able to speak to you about it.

I wouldn't bother about discussing it with the parents unless you know them or know people who are friends with them.

 

[driller]

Not far off.

deputy pm?

 

[Return of the Rev]

Have any of you experienced your children getting bullied? If so I would like advice. My son is four and when I put him to bed he started screaming saying how scared he was of some of the boys at school and explained what they do to him. I know the school are aware of some issues with a group of boys but what should I do? I am going into school tomorrow for a chat with the teacher but how far should I go?

My son was born aug 29th so young and he is well behaved and struggles with some of the really rough kids. I am of half a mind to tell him just to smack one of them but then it may stop him being bullied but they may move onto someone else.

It sucks and I feel a bit lost. I guess all I can do is trust the school to deal with it although I am very tempted to take it up with the parents.

Anyone who has been through this I would appreciate advice.
Cheers

Its a bit ironic asking advice about bullying on here,this place seems to be a magnet for bullies


Don't approach parents,speak to class teacher and escalate to head if you have no joy.
Good luck

 

[oldalbiongirl]

I'm a teacher of 4 year olds with particular training in behavioural issues. Bullying is possible at this age, often learned behaviour from older siblings or parents. It needs dealing with as soon as possible to stop it affecting self esteem. The school should have an anti bullying policy - ask for it. If there isn't one ask why not and say that they need one. Speak to your child every day about how things are and record everything. As a previous poster says, if there is still an ongoing issue, speak to Ofsted. I wouldn't say one way or the other to your child to hit back or not. Let them deal with it as they see fit, but definitely tell them that they need to let an adult know. Telling them to hit back confuses them as they will then only get punished by the school. If they feel that the situation requires fighting back, then they will do so. I don't think it's wise to say never fight back - if a child is poking in your eyes, (as some do!) should you really lay there and take it!?! Don't ignore it. At this age, your child needs your backing and these little "bullies" need some help in managing themselves too!

 

[EDS]

FOUR FFS, and I thought schools in London were meant to be bad. Are you really sure its bullying? im not even sure that four year olds are capable of bullying. But if you feel they are and you get nowhere with the school then chat with the parents. My son was getting picked on in his secondary school last year and I had to get hold of one of the boys dads and explain that everytime my son got hurt he would be off work for at least a fortnight. That worked wonders but these are only four year olds

 

[terryberry1]

Just a thought but sometimes my son (who is now 7) makes things worse than they really are at bedtime - he gets tired and emotional, and sometimes and its hard to see the wood for the trees as I take everything directly to heart and get emotional myself. Certainly what your son says must be taken up with the head teacher but what I'd also do is talk to other parents at the school gate and when you pick him up, see if there are other parents suffering the same thing, then you can guage the extent of it. 4 is very young for that type of behaviour and generally will come from boys who have older siblings who they are learning it from. The school needs to split the pack up and the parents of the 4 boys need to be brought into school and corrected if it does turn out to be the case. However a little observation, other views needs to happen first to make sure it isn't something else less sinister. Bullying is an awful label to stick on someone at 4, so make really sure you're right. If you are - go ahead full steam!

Good post. Agree with all of that

 

[T soprano]

His confidence won't grow, if he's being bullied?

A 4 year old saying he's being bullied
"those boys wouldn't let me play with the broom broom cars "
Probably the scenario at that age

 

[Berty23]

Just a thought but sometimes my son (who is now 7) makes things worse than they really are at bedtime - he gets tired and emotional, and sometimes and its hard to see the wood for the trees as I take everything directly to heart and get emotional myself. Certainly what your son says must be taken up with the head teacher but what I'd also do is talk to other parents at the school gate and when you pick him up, see if there are other parents suffering the same thing, then you can guage the extent of it. 4 is very young for that type of behaviour and generally will come from boys who have older siblings who they are learning it from. The school needs to split the pack up and the parents of the 4 boys need to be brought into school and corrected if it does turn out to be the case. However a little observation, other views needs to happen first to make sure it isn't something else less sinister. Bullying is an awful label to stick on someone at 4, so make really sure you're right. If you are - go ahead full steam!

My wife told me the other day that four sets of parents were called in because of issues with behaviour. I am going to ensure this is all followed up. Sadly I only do Monday drop off as I have work the rest of the week. I don't really know many of the other parents. It seems the school are aware of some issues so I am going to not let this lie until it is sorted.

 

[Sussax]

A 4 year old saying he's being bullied
"those boys wouldn't let me play with the broom broom cars "
Probably the scenario at that age

That makes a kid scream to bed?

 

[Insel affe]

if possible find one of the bullies parents and have a chat

Not always the best idea as bullies often get the idea from further up (or down) the food chain there parents, could make things worse.

 

[Berty23]

A 4 year old saying he's being bullied
"those boys wouldn't let me play with the broom broom cars "
Probably the scenario at that age

Yup that is where the cut on his face came from. And his bruise last week.

 

[Berty23]

I'm a teacher of 4 year olds with particular training in behavioural issues. Bullying is possible at this age, often learned behaviour from older siblings or parents. It needs dealing with as soon as possible to stop it affecting self esteem. The school should have an anti bullying policy - ask for it. If there isn't one ask why not and say that they need one. Speak to your child every day about how things are and record everything. As a previous poster says, if there is still an ongoing issue, speak to Ofsted. I wouldn't say one way or the other to your child to hit back or not. Let them deal with it as they see fit, but definitely tell them that they need to let an adult know. Telling them to hit back confuses them as they will then only get punished by the school. If they feel that the situation requires fighting back, then they will do so. I don't think it's wise to say never fight back - if a child is poking in your eyes, (as some do!) should you really lay there and take it!?! Don't ignore it. At this age, your child needs your backing and these little "bullies" need some help in managing themselves too!

Thanks. Yes I have read it And I am going to discuss with the teacher tomorrow. I am going to go and get some sleep now as I am going to work late tomorrow as going to school first. I will update tomorrow.

Cheers all.

 

[Insel affe]

That makes a kid scream to bed?

Oh boy.... you aint got kids have you