[Help] Sad, but necessary advice needed. Dog put to sleep..

[Creaky]

My thoughts are with you - deciding what’s best for a pet is always a difficult decision but there comes a point that you realise you are keeping a pet alive not for their sake but because you don’t want to be without them.

Deno, the horse in my avatar, had to be put to sleep last week. We tried everything possible to help him survive but there came a point where it just wasn’t fair on the old fella to keep pumping him full of drugs. He wasn’t in pain, (due to the drugs), but keeping him stabled when he was used to running free with no prospect of him being able to do so again just wasn’t fair on him. He was rescued from a horrible life 20 years ago and we didn’t want to see him end his life miserable.

We also ‘lost’ our two dogs over the last couple of years, one with symptoms very much as you describe. The vets in all three cases were wonderful - we followed their advice as to the where and how but the when had to be our decision.

In all cases the vet advised that companion pets were present when the ill one went to “sleep”. In the case of Deno it was especially touching to see the other three horses standing round as he passed away. They all had a sniff of the body before turning away and going back to the stable area.

I wish you strength in making the right decision at the right time.

 

[Arkwright]

Sadly had my old boy Granville put down last year, Granners (as he was known) was a yellow Labrador who reached the grand age of fourteen was in no pain but over a short period lost his mobility and his back legs finally gave up on him.
Maybe we could have kept him going for an extra week or so but he simply wasn't the dog we had loved for twelve years and was in discomfort, he was very much an outdoor dog and loved his regular walks and he sadly just couldn't do it any longer and we could see and feel his frustrations.
I can honestly say it was the hardest decision I have ever made and it still breaks my heart but we contacted the vet and explained the situation and requested that they came to our home and put Granville to sleep. The vet and her assistant were fantastic with both Granville and my wife and me and were so compassionate and loving.
I think all pet owners know when the time is right as much as it is heart breaking but rest assured it is the right decision.
Thoughts are with you.

 

[atfc village]

Such a sad times ,my lab gone now 21 months was the same falling over ,accidents etc . We kept him a couple of months too long ,he wasn't in pain but quality of life wasn't there .If you can have her put to sleep at home,i couldn't be there because of work but mine was with family and very peaceful . Last 2 dogs we have had cremated and both still in the house . The right time never seems to come to scatter them . Finance never came in to it with me ,but the bill up here in Surrey was £500 ish for Vet bill and cremation . The company we used collected my dog from the vets then brought him back after . It is such a sad time and i really feel the hurt . All the best.

 

[Mr Bridger]

My old boxer dog Zamora became ill after a fall down the stairs at home, and wasn’t the same dog for a few months, so the wife and I made the heartbreaking decision to have her put down after the Vets advice. She hated going to the vets so we had a chat with them and they offered to come round the house to do it.

I held her in my arms whilst they gave her the injection and within a couple of breaths it was all over.

Still balling my eyes out I went down the bottom of the garden and started digging.After an hour I’d finished the hole and put her with her bed, toys and my work shirt over her to rest.

We now have a pond at the bottom of the garden over where she lays, and I still think of her when having a cup of tea or beer after a days work.

Was really tough thing to do, but looking back I made the right decision.

Writing this has made me realise how much I miss her, she got me through a really shit time in my life.

 

[atfc village]

My old boxer dog Zamora became ill after a fall down the stairs at home, and wasn’t the same dog for a few months, so the wife and I made the heartbreaking decision to have her put down after the Vets advice. She hated going to the vets so we had a chat with them and they offered to come round the house to do it.

I held her in my arms whilst they gave her the injection and within a couple of breaths it was all over.

Still balling my eyes out I went down the bottom of the garden and started digging.After an hour I’d finished the hole and put her with her bed, toys and my work shirt over her to rest.

We now have a pond at the bottom of the garden over where she lays, and I still think of her when having a cup of tea or beer after a days work.

Was really tough thing to do, but looking back I made the right decision.

Writing this has made me realise how much I miss her, she got me through a really shit time in my life.

Ii watched my father have to dig a hole to bury a dog many years ago and i never ever saw him cry like that again in his life . i was 16 at the time and vowed i'd never put myself through that and never have .

 

[WATFORD zero]

I think that from your original post you know what you need to do. If it was me I would phone the vet tonight and make an appointment for tomorrow morning. Whatever you decide after that will be easier for you and her. What I am suggesting may seen very sudden and maybe harsh but in my experience it's for the best.

Good luck (dreadful phrase) for whatever you decide.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

The thing to remember it's the final show of love and devotion you can give to your beloved member of the family. Whatever you do it's with that love you know it's the best. The vet is used to dealing with this and I'm a believer they are better placed than many people in the human medical services as they are truly able to help the patient and it's loved one with the dignity the situation deserves. We have had to decide the time is right on a number of occasions, it never gets easier.

One time we had just had put down my beloved border collie girl. She was my dog being with me through a real awful time for me devoice etc my girl was with also with me when I re-married and my new (current) wife loved her. I had to go downstairs after the vet left and enter the bar of the pub I owned, a Friday night the pub was full. One of the regulars looked at me and she knew. She run round the bar and just hugged me, I was a mess. Those that have pets know and appreciate the part they pay in our lives.

 

[Sussex Hopburner]

Went through this last August..our dog Ted had been through the mill, and we kept pushing it back until he had more bad days than good ones..I suppose because know know it's coming, the grieving process starts beforehand for the whole family.

Couple of things to think about because of lockdown...

Our vets couldn't do home visits, so we had to say goodbye in the boot of my car. The vets explained the options and the process.

Whilst it wasn't ideal, the vets were brilliant.

Ted is much missed..and he was such a great dog who lives on in our memories....lump...throat..

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk

 

[Ooh it’s a corner]

It will be tough for you all my friend but it does sound like the time has come. I would ring your vet tm and they will talk you through the options. Ultimately you’ll be doing what’s best for Poppy. The vets will be used to dealing with all your concerns and are usually very accommodating in my experience. COVID is a pain of course but they’ll advise what’s allowable. When our first horse was put to sleep it was all very sudden and actually harder to deal with I found. With our first two labs we booked it in with a couple of days notice and just made extra fuss of them for that last 48 hours(if that were possible).
Anyone who owns pets knows they really are part of the family so it’s a major loss. Remember though she will have had a happy life with you all and will have brightened yours immeasurably. Dogs are wonderful companions and deserve our love in saying goodbye. Then just remember how lucky you’ve all been to know each other. NSC animal lovers are all with you

 

[joydivisionovengloves]

Hi, really sorry mate. Its a terrible thing to have to do and I feel for you and your family. I had to have my old Staffie George put to sleep a few years back. I made sure it happened at home. He was curled up on my lap and passed away with me cuddling him. It was really hard but I'm glad we did it that way, I loved him so much I had to make sure it was as stress free for him as possible. The vet and the veterinary nurse were absolutely amazing.
The vets arranged his cremation and so they took him with them when they left , all very gentle and respectful.

I still miss him and can feel myself welling up as I write this but I knew Id have another dog one day and I have a ton of great memories of the best mate I ever had.
All the best to you and your family I'm sure you'll make all the right decisions.

 

[m20gull]

We've said goodbye to some of our dogs at home and some at the vets. One of the dogs was 65kg and I didn't fancy helping him through his last moments at the vets so we had a home visit. Other have gone to the vet. We don't leave the dog with the vet, we take them directly to the Chestnut Lodge crematorium near Crawley. They personally deliver the ashes back to you or you can collect them. It feels like a continuous process but I'm broken until they come back home.

Giving my babies a hug right now and thinking of you.

 

[marlowe]

We have used Raystede in the past a couple of times for our cats. In our case we were presented with our cats' bodies after they had been put to sleep, whereupon we transported them to Raystede ourselves that same day.

When you know the date of the appointment with your vet phone Raystede so you can make the necessary arrangements directly with them. If you want to take Poppy on the same day as the Vet appointment try and arrange a morning appointment with the vet to give you time to get to Raystede and more time to spend some time there with Poppy.

When you get to Raystede you will take Poppy to the chapel of rest where you can spend some time with her before leaving her for cremation. There is also a book of remembrance in the chapel so you and your wife can write a few words if you wish. It does help although very emotional. It's a really lovely setting and very tranquil.

You will collect Poppy's ashes a few days later if that is your choice. I have included a link to the crematorium and their services which you may have already seen, but if not here it is.....

https://www.raystede.org/our-charity/peaceways-pet-crematorium

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

We've only been in our new house since November, so the dog has no real affinity with the place as it's been a bomb site since we've moved in anyway. She also quite likes the vets as she always gets treats and they make a fuss of her - so she won't be stressed going there. Quite the opposite.

Thanks for the advice on waiting. My wife cries most days about this whole scenario now.

So, we book a time with the vet, the vet stores her for a day or two, and I assume it'll be my job to take her body to Raystede?

Best wishes, KN. As always.

 

[Geoffbn2]

Reading all these comments they all have a very similar theme and messages. Speak to your vet, Understand what's best for your pet and take the very hard decision in their best interest. I had this years ago with my cat, was getting ready to leave for a meeting where i was the giving a presentation when my very aged cat (23 + had arthritis, thyroid problem and had started to have toilet issues) fell out of his litter tray and howled the housed down, I called the vets who on hearing him cleared me an immediate slot, I already knew what the likely outcome was and promptly took him to beech house where i was informed he'd broken his hip and it was best to let him go for his sake, although very hard to do and yes it was very tearful but it was best for him. It will be hard and heartbreaking for you and your wife but take solace in the fact that you can help your dog in their last hour of need.

 

[Sussexscots]

Not the cheeriest of posts, but our (specifically Mrs Nose's as she has always been her dog) Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is a month away from being 14 years old - and has had a degenerative condition where her head tilts and her back legs are losing control. The vet thinks she may have had multiple mini-strokes, along with a common syndrome where the spine and rear legs start losing communication with the brain, and she's not living a life I would call fulfilled in any sense. She keeps losing bladder and bowel control every few days - and it's making the old girl thoroughly miserable, even though she doesn't appear to be in 'pain' as such.

We've used that last sentence for a few months now, but the old girl just hobbles around and falls over all the time - along with the messy accidents, and she can't walk more than 100 metres any more. She sleeps most of the time and when she's awake she gets no real pleasure from life. She's been such an active, happy, mischievous, loving, agile, active dog her whole life - and part of a loving family who adore her. It can't be pleasurable for her any more to be like this.

The time is coming where we need to start thinking of having the old lady (her name is Poppy) put to sleep, but it's not something I've been through before.

I'm looking for practical advice from people who have experienced the same thing. Do you 'book a time / day' - or do you make the wait as short as possible and just say to the vet 'what have you got, and soon'?

After the deed has happened, do you literally get presented with your dead pet? Does the vet 'store' the pet for you? (we want her cremated at Raystede), or do we have to ring Raystede and get them to liaise with the vet? Or, do we take her straight to Raystede for 'storage'?

I literally have no idea, so I'd really appreciate a plan of action from someone who has been through this... I'd usually just hit Google for my problems, but this is different.

I don't often ask for help here, but you're good and caring people and I'm sure you can help in what is going to be a real wrench for the whole family...

Firstly, let me say you have my utmost sympathy. Agreeing to have a much loved pet put to sleep is, whilst you know it is absolutely the right thing to do, absolutely horrible.

My first Bullmastiff saw me through the hardest, lowest, absolute f×#king worst time of my life. My Second was just the most gentle creature I've ever known without an ounce of malice in him. So it hurts and it is a bereavement in every sense. Allow yourselves time to grieve.

Practicalities. If it's time for her to go, your Vet will agree an appointment to take that forward. Explain to him or her what you want to do. I don't know of Raystede, but in my experience your vet will be sensitive and accommodating to your wants and will give you advice on how to proceed. For me, whilst I stayed with my dogs to the end, I couldn't have taken their bodies home so was happy to let the Vet organise the next steps.

So, I had the Vet arrange the individual cremation and had their ashes put in caskets for my collection. If you plan on scattering her ashes, they can prepare scatter caskets for you.

I wish you peace and strength.

 

[PTC Gull]

You know She rode in the Front and simply as a driver by trade nothing is better for better to me than a dog 'wanting it outside a window' even better on the odd chance of a dog in a sidecar it amazing. By the way we don't have a dog or need/want one but like to observe.

She still rides with me. Our other dog won't sit there, he is always in the back.

 

[arewethereyet?]

Its probably one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make, we did the same in December just gone, our 14 year old lurcher had been deteriating for about a year. You know it's coming and that you will have to make the decision but you don't want to, that's natural. You hope to come downstairs one morning in the hope that you don't have to make that decision but in the end you do. You havd to take a deep breath and do whats best for your dog and not for you.
Quality of life is important and you know you cannot let them suffer. Make no mistake, it will he incredibly hard at the time and also for a while after but time is a healer.
I wish you strength when the time comes.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

Thank you for all the replies. Really.

I had to take a bit of a break from the thread as it got a bit emotional after the wife just got home from a 13 hour shift at the DGH. She was tired, the thread got me wobbly, but we both agreed it would be selfish to keep watching Poppy be a pale and deteriorating shadow of the lovely dog she was.

I'm calling the vet first thing in the morning. You are all correct - it is the right decision.

Jesus this is going to be difficult, but I keep consoling myself that soon she'll be a little dog spirit in rude health and getting up to her old antics again.

Almost fourteen years. She's seen my two kids go from little children to adults. She's seen me with brown hair, and now grey, and she doesn't give a shit about COVID. But, most of all, she's been loved to bits.

Once again - thank you everyone. Lump in throat time, so I'll sign off...

 

[zamora the merrier]

My deepest sympathies KN! I have been there with my cats and it is, as other posters said, a truly horrible decision and awful thing to go through. For us we have always had the vet come to the house and in each case a very dignified and personal experience.

To be honest immediately after the event there has been sadness tinged with an appreciation that we made the right decision for them but what really hits me is the days and weeks after when they aren't there. Complete emptiness (I know that sounds dramatic) that they are not around that the daily comforts you have had with them will never happen again. So again to KN you may experience this but these feelings will improve and you will move on albeit never forgetting your beloved Poppy

 

[Weststander]

Thank you for all the replies. Really.

I had to take a bit of a break from the thread as it got a bit emotional after the wife just got home from a 13 hour shift at the DGH. She was tired, the thread got me wobbly, but we both agreed it would be selfish to keep watching Poppy be a pale and deteriorating shadow of the lovely dog she was.

I'm calling the vet first thing in the morning. You are all correct - it is the right decision.

Jesus this is going to be difficult, but I keep consoling myself that soon she'll be a little dog spirit in rude health and getting up to her old antics again.

Almost fourteen years. She's seen my two kids go from little children to adults. She's seen me with brown hair, and now grey, and she doesn't give a shit about COVID. But, most of all, she's been loved to bits.

Once again - thank you everyone. Lump in throat time, so I'll sign off...

During and after this sad time, for me it helps to always remember that you gave the beloved pet the time of their life, endess pampering, cuddles and warmth, that they were so lucky to land on their paws and meet you (and vice versa).

In my experience it says a lot about people when they have a heart and soul that's kind and loving to a pet.