Roadside memorials and floral tributes etc

[Bry Nylon]

Seems like they are everywhere now...
When did this all start? 5 years ago or so? Maybe more... And where did this trend come from?

Oh, and its not just bunches of wilting flowers selotaped to trees and lamposts; round here people have taken to constructing roadside 'mini-graves', complete with wooden crosses, flower beds and photgraphs of the deceased. (The road from Cambridge to Haverhill is like driving through a cemetary).

 

[Collar Feeler]

Originated in the states and like everything else made its way over here. Find them a bit pointless personally after all isn't that what the grave is for in the cemetary. If a relative of mine died on the road I would avoid the spot like the plague and most certainly wouldn't want reminding of the spot they died at.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Is it a remanent of the Diana stuff ?

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

Originated in the states and like everything else made its way over here. Find them a bit pointless personally after all isn't that what the grave is for in the cemetary. If a relative of mine died on the road I would avoid the spot like the plague and most certainly wouldn't want reminding of the spot they died at.

Agreed. "So here's the precise spot where my beloved got splattered across the tarmac." Nice.

 

[Norman Potting]

Not sure about it originating in the good old US of A. Anyone who has been to Greece will surely have noticed the little roadside shrines complete with little altar thingummy, candles and pics. We went on a lengthy coach trip over a mountainous road with no barriers and the number of these was worryingly large.

Don't recall seeing any in France which suprises me somewhat - I blame Lady Di and the grief cult which seems to have grown up after her demise. Oh and I blame the Daily Express as well, for just about everything!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Seems like they are everywhere now...
When did this all start? 5 years ago or so? Maybe more... And where did this trend come from?

Oh, and its not just bunches of wilting flowers selotaped to trees and lamposts; round here people have taken to constructing roadside 'mini-graves', complete with wooden crosses, flower beds and photgraphs of the deceased. (The road from Cambridge to Haverhill is like driving through a cemetary).

Don't care where it started. Whatever means something to the family and friends of the deceased should be utterly respected. Happens in other countries too, y'know. Bit of respect please. They may look naff to you but they mean a helluva lot to people struggling to express their grief.

 

[Buzzer]

Known as a Catford bunch - a hastily gathered birthday present of nicked roadside flowers for your one's chavvy girlfriend.

 

[clapham_gull]

Don't know abou the US, but it's common in Europe where it will have a religious significance.

Sure I'm seen things like that in Greece and Spain.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Don't care where it started. Whatever means something to the family and friends of the deceased should be utterly respected. Happens in other countries too, y'know. Bit of respect please. They may look naff to you but they mean a helluva lot to people struggling to express their grief.

well, I don't think my post was especially disrespectful - just an observation. And I only posted it as I read somewhere today that local authorites are getting so concerned with the roadsides becoming makeshift cemetaries, that they are now removing flowers after 30 days and memorials immediatley.

In a 6 miles stretch of road from my house to the next town there are currently 7semi-permanant 'graves' by the side of the road. Soon, there won't be room for folk to wait for a bus. I understand that poeple have to have a place to express their grief, but surley it is best done in a cemetary, or a special place to the deceased?

 

[Yorkie]

Don't know abou the US, but it's common in Europe where it will have a religious significance.

Sure I'm seen things like that in Greece and Spain.

They are there to pray to saints than where accidents have been.
I don't like the idea of 'shrines' where someone has died. That's what graves and cemeteries are for.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Don't know abou the US, but it's common in Europe where it will have a religious significance.

Sure I'm seen things like that in Greece and Spain.

Absolutely. Little shrines with candles and flowers and the like. Cruel to mock people in this country's similar gestures IMHO.

 

[beorhthelm]

reckon the phenomenon is certainly older than 5 years. let 'em be i say, though somtime you wonder if they aren't a little distracting. theres a bit of scaling up going on as pointed out, and no doubt there will one day be a story in the Mail about one being removed due to not having planning permission.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

well, I don't think my post was especially disrespectful - just an observation. And I only posted it as I read somewhere today that local authorites are getting so concerned with the roadsides becoming makeshift cemetaries, that they are now removing flowers after 30 days and memorials immediatley.

In a 6 miles stretch of road from my house to the next town there are currently 7semi-permanant 'graves' by the side of the road. Soon, there won't be room for folk to wait for a bus. I understand that poeple have to have a place to express their grief, but surley it is best done in a cemetary, or a special place to the deceased?

Dunno tho, Bry, death's an individual thing, and Christ knows you've for sure seen infinitely more of that side of things than I would ever wish on my worst enemy. For which total respect, and not said in a glib way. But... OK makeshift memorials may well create a logistical problem for those in officialdom that have to keep stuff moving. But its a human response to a devastating human tragedy for the people involved. As such it should be respected IMHO

 

[Starry]

i really believe in letting people grieve in the way they see fit.
i do find it a bit odd though. there is a memorial near to us and every wednesday (he died on a weds) the boys (17 year old came off a scooter) mother comes and replaces the flowers with a new bunch. she has a photo there and other things.

her son is buried in the same cemetery as anastasia and i have often talked with her in passing. she told me she does not want people to forget that her son died. thing is, most people driving past now (accident was 4 years ago) have no idea who her son is and the people that matter will never forget the boy died.

still, grief is a very personal thing and if it helps her deal with her sons death then so be it.

 

[Skint Gull]

i really believe in letting people grieve in the way they see fit.
i do find it a bit odd though. there is a memorial near to us and every wednesday (he died on a weds) the boys (17 year old came off a scooter) mother comes and replaces the flowers with a new bunch. she has a photo there and other things.

her son is buried in the same cemetery as anastasia and i have often talked with her in passing. she told me she does not want people to forget that her son died. thing is, most people driving past now (accident was 4 years ago) have no idea who her son is and the people that matter will never forget the boy died.

still, grief is a very personal thing and if it helps her deal with her sons death then so be it.

That is exactly the sort of thing that causes people to get a little annoyed. My best friend died (aged 17) as a passanger in a car crash 7 years ago. Every year on the anniversary of his death we place flowers at the site and a couple of days later his parents pick them up and take them to his grave.

It shows he'll never be forgotten but as harsh as it sounds, life does go on so as far as i'm concerned councils are totally right to remove these 'permanant' shrines.

Anyone who knows of the site where the poor lad died outside The Gildridge in Eastbourne will know where the situation becomes too much.

 

[pasty]

i really believe in letting people grieve in the way they see fit.

still, grief is a very personal thing and if it helps her deal with her sons death then so be it.

Two truisms there Starry. Grief is entirely personal. One mans shrine is another mans nightmare. I personally do not see any point in shrines or any other type of memorial to be honest. The only time I have ever been back to my mums grave, was to bury my dad in it. My sister on the other hand visits regularly.

 

[Gully]

Originated in the states and like everything else made its way over here. Find them a bit pointless personally after all isn't that what the grave is for in the cemetary. If a relative of mine died on the road I would avoid the spot like the plague and most certainly wouldn't want reminding of the spot they died at.

Fair comment CF, I can't bear to drive past where the Goldstone stood, I sure as hell wouldn't keep going back to a spot on a road where a loved one died.

But, as mentioned, people deal with grief in different ways...what suits one doesn't necessarily work for another.

 

[Wozza]

They always look rubbish after a bit of rain.

 

[RexCathedra]

In this hemisphere, it came north with the influx of Latin Americans, especially Mexicans, in the last 20 years.

Such memorials are now ubiquitous even here in Maine -- I go by one every day that marks the location of a quintuple-fatality accident -- two high school students, three recent grads -- four years ago. I can only hope our present crop of young men find it sobering.

I remember seeing waaaay too many of them on the Amalfi Drive to give one peace of mind

 

[British Bulldog]

If a relative of mine died on the road I would avoid the spot like the plague and most certainly wouldn't want reminding of the spot they died at.

Thats easy to say now but in reality you'll never know how you'll react unless your unfortunate enough to be in that position. I might've thought the same as you years ago but now I often drive past the spot where my nephew died in a car crash and I allways think of him as I do. I'm not a great lover of permanent roadside memorials but I dont see the harm in people putting flowers at the roadside to mark the spot where they lost a loved one. For me it allways acts as serious reminder to watch my speed when I see them.