When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Bas Savage.
Bas Savage doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Bas Savage does not sleep. He waits.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Bas Savage.
Bas Savage does not get frostbite. Bas Savage bites frost.
There is no chin behind Bas Savage beard. There is only another fist.
Bas Savage is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
There is no such thing as global warming. Bas Savage was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Bas Savage doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
When Bas Savage jumps in to a swimming pool he dosent get wet. The water gets Bas Savaged.
Bas Savage once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Bas Savage allows to live.
When Bas Savagewas born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Bas Savage!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
When Bas Savage goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Bas Savage could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Bas Savage can count backwards from infinity.
Crop circles are Bas Savage way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fu*k down.
Bas Savage can divide by zero.
In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Bas Savage, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Bas Savage is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Bas Savagehas two speeds: walk and kill.
Bas Savageis the reason why Wally is hiding.
Bas Savage on can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.....at night.
You are what you eat. That is why Bas Savage diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, Your Dad and the tears of small children.
Bas Savageonce beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV and the game beat itself out of fear.
Bas Savage played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
On his birthday, Bas Savage randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.