Quotes we won't be hearing in the next couple of months

[Simster]

Dennis Wise: "The reason we're in the shit is down to one man - Ken Bates. He's a f***ing wanker. Nevertheless, I'm thrilled at how these marvellous fans have taken to me because they have been absolutely first class in their backing for me"

David Beckham: "When I joined LA Galaxy, I assumed that the league was merely underrated. Now I know that it's just plain shit and I wish I hadn't bothered coming here. To think I could have been playing for a Champions League club instead, FFS."

Chris Hutchings: "I'm delighted to accept my second successive manager of the month award, but this one's for the players - especially Titus Bramble, who has been magnificient"

take it away...

 

[Uncle Buck]

McGhee: - "In no way did the referee cost us the game, nor was it the lack of quality in the side, simply I got it wrong."

 

[Braders]

FPC = "yes we are going to appeal"

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Dean Wilkins - 'Dickov and Forster have proved once again, they are the best strike force in this league'

 

[Barrel of Fun]

London Irish: - "Kerry Mayo was extremly poor today and I don't think he warrants a place in the team".

 

[Buzzer]

NMH - Love the hotpants. Where can I get a pair?

 

[Peteinblack]

"Actually, NSCers were right, I do have a problem with black players"

Mark McGhee


"I can't stand Mark McGhee; he was a terrible manager, and Dick Knight was absolutely right to get rid of him last September."

Andy Naylor

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Kinky - 'I think we are really missing Charlie Oatway this season. His vision and distribution from central midfield can not be easily replaced'

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Algie- "Swan sarnie, anyone ?"

 

[Woodchip]

Ken Bates :- "Due to the pressure applied on me by the FA and PFA I am standing down as chairman and vow never to manage a football team ever again"

 

[bhafc4eva]

Dick Knight " I am pleased to announce i have offered Dean £500 k to attract new players in January ".

 

[supaseagull]

Melanie Cuttress husband "you go ahead and appeal love!"

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

"I didn't f*** your, or anyone elses, Mum, and ordering internet brides has bankrupt me." - Bhaexpress

 

[Basil Fawlty]

Ken Bates- "After a long period of time. I've finally decided to accept the 15 point penalty put on Leeds United FC, now I'm off to make more fish fingers."

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Lancashire CCC: - "The reason why we did not win the title this year was due to that ghastly warm patch at the end of July and start of August"

Jonny Wilkinson: - "World Cup! World Cup! World Cup!"

 

[scooter1]

Fernando: "Lewis old chap, want to come round for afternoon tea and a spot of non-competative Scalextric"
Lewis: "Nando old fruit, that sounds like a splendid idea, i'll see if Ron's up for it too"

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Blue Peter - 'maybe we can all just get along with each other and live as neighbours'

 

[Simster]

"I'll admit we got lucky there - how the referee didn't spot Robin Van Persie smashing his elbow into his opponent's face I'll never know. Not to mention the blatent handball on the goal line by Toure which should have been a penalty." Arsene Wenger

 

[Basil Fawlty]

Chris Coleman- "The only reason I got sacked was, I couldn't speak a word of Spanish and none of my players knew what language I spoke".

 

[severnside gull]

"Man U are clearly the best footballing side in the league with the best manager."

"Ballack and Shevchenko were the best signings this club ever made"

- Jose Mourinho