[Humour] Predict the first game GPott has no available strikers, and why?

[portslade seagull]

Norwich A

In the press conference after ... "Jakub is a player we know can play in a number of positions" ....

In a similar vane ... GP in the press conference after the game, I picked Scherpen because of his height to cover the shortage of available strikers and to have presence in the opposition's box, however I didn't expect him to catch and punch the 1st few crosses into the area and get red carded

 

[1066familyman]

Leicester (h)


We're 6-0 up v Brentford.
Inexplicably they're all on the pitch.
Even more bizarre they each have 2 goals.

On the 89th minute Lamptey gets upended for a penalty.

The resulting 3 way fight for the hattrick results in

1x career ender
1x season ender.
1x emergency trip to the hairdresser's.



(We go onto miss the penalty, but trot out winners 6-5, after a nerve jangling injury time)






5th up on MOTD.

If only we'd singed Richarlison.

 

[1066familyman]

I was thinking that, except it'll be 7-6 . . .Gross will score the penalty and Connolly will be restrained by Duffy with little more than 2 chinese burn marks.

The game will be Brentford away.

Gross doesn't score the penalty. The Gross turn is a two touch manoeuvre.

 

[Jesus Gul]

Wolves H

Half the squad crocked due to the *checks greek alphabet* gamma variant.

Kjell Scherpen big target man up front notches a brace - a revelation

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

I'd have absolutely said that Maupay has more than a touch of petulance about him and is always a red card waiting to happen, but having just checked his disciplinary record with us, it's actually a lot better than I'd have guessed.

2019/20 - Four yellow cards
2020/21 - One yellow card and, ahem, one red.

You'd hope that he learned something from that red at Wolves, after the final whistle, and I'm sure he got a bollocking for it.

Aside from that, we've got a Covid-y winter to get through too - we might need some good fortune there.

To be fair, now that Andone has gone we need another target for the "too temperamental" label and Maupay is the best option that we currently have for that. Personally I'd like Locadia to be given a run out in the u23s so he could deck some kid, snap a goalpost and trample on the oranges and in doing so take on the nutter mantle, thus easing the burden of expectation from Maups.

 

[Stat Brother]

Wolves H

Half the squad crocked due to the *checks greek alphabet* gamma variant.

Kjell Scherpen big target man up front notches a brace - a revelation

Thank you.

 

[LamieRobertson]

The kind that wants to induce a little light-hearted relief, hence the thread being in 'humour'.



Sadly though for that to happen others have to have a heart.

Well at least I tried to lift the mood and thanks to those that tried to help.

Erm hence my post was light hearted

 

[studio150]

Chelsea (A)

Connolly appearing on Love Island
Maupay is the subject of a £75m bid from relegation threatened Arsenal and is withdrawn from the match squad to avoid injury
Welbeck is still wandering around in his Santa outfit handing out belated Xmas gifts to one and all.

Potter opts for a 370 formation.

We win 5-0.

 

[RandyWanger]

Arsenal (H)

Welbeck - sicknote
Maupay - suspended (red card against Palace)
Connolly - sulking

 

[zefarelly]

Gross doesn't score the penalty. The Gross turn is a two touch manoeuvre.

but it fooled the ref, and VAR numpty. a world first.

 

[Saunders]

Obviously route one is:-

Leicester (h)

Welbeck - injury.
Maupay - suspended.
Connolly - Hairdressers appointment.


But Shirley, to lift the gloom, we can be more creative than that.

City dont have a recognisable striker....doing pretty ok how about predicting their demise

 

[Saunders]

It's entirely possible Maupay will pick up a silly red and Connolly and Welbeck have knocks.

You'd have to push Trossard up top, with March just behind and Cucurella at LWB. I can't see an alternative.

It is but the alternative is to have 4/5 strikers in a team that only plays one striker (not that we all like that but it is what it is). So now you are a striker, you want to sign up to 4/5 at Brighton...really?

 

[um bongo molongo]

Palace (A)
Maupay gives a little ankle tap to Welbeck ‘Bernardo style’ as the players go out to warm up. This puts Welbeck out for 3 months. The angry Frenchman is immediately suspended by the club for two weeks. Locadia is called in to the squad, but the club have insufficient funds to buy him out of his new Saturday night residency at an Amsterdam nightclub. Twenty minutes in, shortly after Edouard completes his hat trick, Connolly, playing up front on his own, and inspired by Mr Tumble, throws himself to the ground five yards from his nearest opponent even more theatrically than usual and breaks his neck. Big Dan Burn moves up front. ‘Dan is a very skilled and versatile player who gives us options’ says Potter.

 

[giveusfalmerplease]

nobodies considered the covid factor. perfectely feasible for our remaining strikers to have to quarantine at the same time. not sure we could get the match suspended if only our strike force is affected ?`

 

[maresfield seagull]

Palace (A)
Maupay gives a little ankle tap to Welbeck ‘Bernardo style’ as the players go out to warm up. This puts Welbeck out for 3 months. The angry Frenchman is immediately suspended by the club for two weeks. Locadia is called in to the squad, but the club have insufficient funds to buy him out of his new Saturday night residency at an Amsterdam nightclub. Twenty minutes in, shortly after Edouard completes his hat trick, Connolly, playing up front on his own, and inspired by Mr Tumble, throws himself to the ground five yards from his nearest opponent even more theatrically than usual and breaks his neck. Big Dan Burn moves up front. ‘Dan is a very skilled and versatile player who gives us options’ says Potter.

Yep put our defender up front Who despite being the tallest Is far from the best at heading a football ️ It might just happen though
Imagine the scenes on here ?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

You are being wilfully disingenuous, as usual. This stuff is why people don't like you.

Our three strikers are ****. I would rather have the strikers of any of the clubs you've listed above ahead of what we've got.

Who are 'people'? I like him. He clearly knows a lot more about football in general, than 95% of posters on here, and often has some insight beyond the wit of most.

In this case he's just being rather literal, in his 'defense' of the club, in the face of some pretty tedious whining, across the board.

(and for what it's worth, if you think that Pukki, Idah and Sargeant would be preferable to Maupay, Wellbeck and Connolly, then there is little more to discuss).

 

[Biscuit]

It is but the alternative is to have 4/5 strikers in a team that only plays one striker (not that we all like that but it is what it is). So now you are a striker, you want to sign up to 4/5 at Brighton...really?

I think you're bending the facts to breaking point here. Connolly is a young player, that offers something different but is not of the quality of Welbeck and Maupay. Welbeck has a track record of injuries and won't be able to play every minute of every game. Therefore there's an opening for an additional body upfront - would you not agree?

You could equally say, so now you are a striker, you want to sign up for xG crazy Brighton who lack depth upfront?

 

[Bry Nylon]

You are being wilfully disingenuous, as usual. This stuff is why people don't like you.

I like him too

 

[Stat Brother]

City dont have a recognisable striker....doing pretty ok how about predicting their demise

Why don't you read the thread, look at the subsection it's in, understand it for what it is and then...







...f**k off.

 

[Uh_huh_him]

I'd have absolutely said that Maupay has more than a touch of petulance about him and is always a red card waiting to happen, but having just checked his disciplinary record with us, it's actually a lot better than I'd have guessed.

2019/20 - Four yellow cards
2020/21 - One yellow card and, ahem, one red.

You'd hope that he learned something from that red at Wolves, after the final whistle, and I'm sure he got a bollocking for it.

Aside from that, we've got a Covid-y winter to get through too - we might need some good fortune there.

In fairness that was for calling Jon Moss a "****ing joke".
Which is kind of understandable.