Pet Hates

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

Can you just imagine what that FB page will be like once she has actually spawned ? Thousands and thousands of near-identical pics of their precious bawling red-faced shitfactory, day and night, from every conceivable angle. Like when you draw one of those pics through a notebook, making it slightly different on each page, and then you thumb the pages to animate it like a little "movie". Yup. That. That's what going to be plastered all over your FB wall for the next 16 years.

And then there'll be the updates on every single tiny bit of "news".

"Awww, Foccacia tilted her little head this morning and shat all over my thumb when I was changing her. I SWEAR she smiled !!"
"LOL hun !"
"hahahaa yes they do that don't they !!"
"Aww bless !"

:

"Hun. She looks sooooooooooooo lyk u. Shes GAWJUS"

 

[Meade's Ball]

I had to have a word with someone on Facebook about his every other day updates on jogs he went on. As a relative newcomer to the world of light trotting, it was reported each time he ran for almost 1.8 kilometres, including a map of the generally minute distance. Something, for me at least, unworthy of a repetitive hurrah, and getting my goat, who can jog further than that and doesn't bleat about every blinking time. He's stopped now, the chap on Facebook, and not my goat, who is agonisingly trim and uncatchable.

 

[Easy 10]

People who have queued for some time at a supermarket checkout then having loaded their trolley or bag with their purchases, suddenly realise it it time to pay then spend ages searching through their handbags or wallets for the cash or credit card. the same often happens with people at bus stops when they get on the bus.

Or how about those SHITPUFFINS who, just after having all their stuff beeped through at the checkout, suddenly remember that they'd forgotten to get their bag of organic CRESS. So everything is put on hold while a pre-pubescent, disinterested, clueless spotty oik is summonsed to the till and dispatched all the way back to aisle 29 to pick up said bag of cress. And you stand their with a neutral expression, whilst inside your piss is BOILING as you see half your afternoon drip-dripping away into the abyss, trapped behind the idiotic simpering HAG who's stood there smiling and rolling her eyes at herself in a "oh that's just typical ME!" kind of way, and all the time you just want to grab the bacofoil from her trolley and ram it down her flaccid turkey-neck throat until she chokes to death on her own VOMIT.

 

[KVLT]

precious bawling red-faced shitfactory

 

[One Love]

He's stopped now, the chap on Facebook.

He's injured.

 

[BigBod]

I'm amazed no none else has said 'Middle Lane ****s'...

 

[papajaff]

"Hun. She looks sooooooooooooo lyk u. Shes GAWJUS"

Even if the little fecker has 3 eyes, two noses and looks like Quasimodo. "Oh little Mercedes Chelsea is so gorgeous innit". Trace, you must be so proud innit.

And then another overused word - Proud! Little Foccacia (brilliant) is 3 now and is taking her Disco test today. So proud of you my little angel.

 

[Meade's Ball]

He's injured.

Hopefully nibbled on the fingers by my goat, preventing him from telling the world unspectacular news on a daily basis.
Goat, goat, goat.

 

[Badger]

Pop-up ads for PULLED PORK.

 

[LlcoolJ]

Last few posts confirm again that I'm glad I'm not on Facebook. Every time I consider the benefits of joining I think of threads like this and remember they are massively outweighed.

 

[emphyrian]

People who put their bags on a seat, or sit in the outside seat on a bus, making it difficult to get past and to the free seat.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

Thats me then. Sorry.

 

[pasty]

You missed out the guys jogging to the station in trainers and suit. So fragrant to sit or stand next to on public transport for an hour.

Please don't tar all us trainers + suit wearers with the same brush. I wear trainers, but only because they are more comfortable than office shoes for my mile and a half WALK to the station.

 

[The Wookiee]

People who have queued for some time at a supermarket checkout then having loaded their trolley or bag with their purchases, suddenly realise it it time to pay then spend ages searching through their handbags or wallets for the cash or credit card. the same often happens with people at bus stops when they get on the bus.

I agree ! Also idiots with a weeks worth of shopping going through the self service till !!

 

[The Legend that IS Lawro]

People who have queued for some time at a supermarket checkout then having loaded their trolley or bag with their purchases, suddenly realise it it time to pay then spend ages searching through their handbags or wallets for the cash or credit card. the same often happens with people at bus stops when they get on the bus.

Don't forget the elastic band clad wad of 1p off coupons that expired in 1987 that need to be checked individually.

 

[Seagull over Canaryland]

Lack of courtesy between road users. Too many drivers of 4x4s who do not know (or care) how to park them properly and/or with consideration to other road users.

Applies to both genders. However too often these appear to be of the 'Yummy Mummy' type, in a hurry to deliver Jocasta to her ballet lessons. Seem to find it difficult judging which kerb they are 'parking' in the vague vicinity of - and really don't care if this inconveniences others.

Observed an amusing example recently where a Yummy Mummy in a large 4x4 (presumably quite petite, as she could barely see over her steering wheel) jumped the queue and raced another driver into the only vacant space in a car park. How she didn't hit other vehicles and pedestrians in her haste was a surprise. Hmm, so maybe she was highly skilled and had good judgement after all. Maybe just a little inconsiderate? However when the other driver remonstrated with the 4x4 driver she received an earful of expletives and a little 'scene' kicked off. It's never particularly dignified to see two ladies having a verbal cat fight in public. The onlookers then had the last laugh as despite driving forwards into the space the 4x4 driver had failed to see the sign 'narrow parking space'. She couldn't get her car doors open and then spent several minutes attempting to reverse out of the narrow space. Priceless.

 

[studio150]

People who must use a signature along the lines of 'sent from my >insert name of mobile< using >insert app/system being used>

Pop up adverts

Middle lane drivers

Liars

People who post something that they know is wrong but think it is fun

I better stop before the next post lists people who hate everything

 

[KVLT]

People who insist on filming video on their phones in portrait where landscape is clearly the appropriate option.

People who say "Can I get" when asking for things in shops etcetera. If you're the one who 'gets' it you f**king work there you imbecile!

The expression "From the get go".

The term Social Media.

 

[studio150]

People who put their bags on a seat, or sit in the outside seat on a bus, making it difficult to get past and to the free seat.

This also applies to trains. Personally I make straight to these people so that they have to move their items or themselves

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Pedestrians who don't acknowledge vehicles that stop to let them cross at a zebra crossing. Normally twats with headphones on. And I speak as a pedestrian who acknowledges vehicles on BOTH sides of the road who stop for me, or who even visibly slow down for me. It's makes everybody's day go a little happier IMHO. Just about the sweetest thing I ever saw was a young Chinese girl jogging towards the zebra crossing at the bottom of Preston Park. Car stopped for her. She jogged onto the crossing, stopped halfway, turned towards the car, did a full hands-together bow, then jogged on. Bless.

 

[gregbrighton]

This also applies to trains. Personally I make straight to these people so that they have to move their items or themselves

So do I. Sometimes I just sit on their stuff if they don't move it quick enough.