Pet Hates

[papajaff]

Soccer AM, why can't this programme **** off and die?

American Football, you don't play it with your feet and you dress like a member of the Village People (who are great). The game SHOULD take one hour. It lasts for around 3 hours and the actual average time the game is 'in play' is 12 minutes. TRY RUGBY!!!!!!

 

[DavidRyder]

Soccer AM, why can't this programme **** off and die?

American Football, you don't play it with your feet and you dress like a member of the Village People (who are great). The game SHOULD take one hour. It lasts for around 3 hours and the actual average time the game is 'in play' is 12 minutes. TRY RUGBY!!!!!!

Here here! Like a lot of things American - it's over the top, glitzy, a 'show' rather than sport. The ridiculous number of coaches etc by the side too, shoulder pads, helmets. To them though, it's the pinnacle of their sporting calendar, bit like the Baseball 'World' Series - hmm.

 

[Easy 10]

People who order frothy milk drinks masquerading as coffee in a pub, meaning that the barmaid has to spend 10 minutes twatting about with a coffee machine to produce four cups of sickly muck when I just want to order a PINT.

Go to COSTA if you want to drink your sludge not a PUB which is for drinking BEER.

I don't do likes, but this this THIS

The number of times I've been in that pub halfway up the pier and sloped up to the bar to order a couple of Kronies, only to have the misfortune to be stranded behind some tragic cardigan-clad daytripping GIMP who proceeds to order three cappuccinos, two expressos and a skinny latte. The heart just sinks as the barmaid dutifully troops off to begin frigging about with various shiny knobs, buttons and handles until the machine coughs into life and about 20 minutes later eventually vomits that pointless frothy gloop into a tiny cup that holds all of about 2 mouthfuls. Then its "Oh have you got a tray ?"

These people need to be grabbed firmly by the hair, dragged kicking and screaming from the bar, and brutally beaten to death with their own shoes. In front of their children.

 

[Meade's Ball]

You missed out the guys jogging to the station in trainers and suit. So fragrant to sit or stand next to on public transport for an hour.

I deliberately douse myself in a liquid that for as long as it dribbles from me will instruct observant minds to decide me to be a stinker, and keep their distance. If I wasn't that damp I wouldn't have the space to read my now lightly-dampened newspaper on da tube. I sometimes dry my sodden brow on the padded shoulders of giants from the city too. Statement sweating, I call it.

 

[Badger]

Other people. ALL of them.

 

[dazzer6666]

I like to think I'm the opposite of him! Once on a commuter train on my carriage, every seat was taken and just one person was standing - a heavily preggers woman. I walked the length of the carriage and offered her my seat, as no-one near her was going to. It's a pity that the badges were ever needed in the first place to prompt people.

They are needed - otherwise you risk offending a fatty.........

 

[Phat Baz 68]

Gerbils. Useless.

ha ha ha ha ha ha wtf

 

[KVLT]

Or as the great John Dowie once put it...

'The Dutch, the Dutch
I hate them worse than dogs.
They live in fookin windmills
And they mince around in clogs.'

On Shooting Stars once Bob Mortimer asked the question "True or false? - The Dutch language was originally a practical joke that got out of hand".

 

[Phat Baz 68]

Some of the bigheaded drivel talking ****wits on here that live on planet Bellendus.

A large collection of HOOFW.ANKING BUNGLEC UNTS

 

[The Clamp]

I have a friend who's missus is having a baby. Every day we get updates on FB from him and a couple of times a week a graph type thing that informs us the foetus is as long as a pencil and weighs the same as a shoe or some such bollocks. That's what I hate. That shit.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

There should be a CatBlocker for Facebook.

 

[8ace]

Moving Saturday football matches to Friday or Monday for Sky tv.
Not that impressed with the reason tonight's match isn't tomorrow should have asked for an away game this weekend, if putting out the cones for the marathon clashes with a football match 3 miles away.

We used up our one request for the egg-chasing World Cup.

 

[DavidRyder]

I have a friend who's missus is having a baby. Every day we get updates on FB from him and a couple of times a week a graph type thing that informs us the foetus is as long as a pencil and weighs the same as a shoe or some such bollocks. That's what I hate. That shit.

If she also has a Baby On Board badge, I might be annoyed by her too!

 

[Norman Potting]

There should be a CatBlocker for Facebook.

Anything along the lines of "...like/share this florid piece of sanctimonious waffle about love or something, or maybe a vaguely right wing statement involving an ethnic minority person being beastly to a solder who has apparently just returned from active service in Afghanistan, or even a cat serving in the army that loves you" that appears on Facebook. Facebook is for pictures of steam locos, spoof news websites (who once did a spot on parody of a "just returned from Afghanistan FB post...") music stuff and the Albion, not that S**t.

Breath out and relax Mr. Potting.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

DJ's TALKING over the end-of-song Guitar Solos

I'm looking at YOU CHRIS EVANS, specifically on HOTEL CALIFORNIA.

I almost flipped my car off the road.

 

[Boys 9d]

People who have queued for some time at a supermarket checkout then having loaded their trolley or bag with their purchases, suddenly realise it it time to pay then spend ages searching through their handbags or wallets for the cash or credit card. the same often happens with people at bus stops when they get on the bus.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

All the non-law-abiding folk you see on programs like Can't pay we'll take it away, Boarder Control, Police Interceptors.

People who rip off their landlord - don't pay rent owed
Illegal migrants working
Drink drivers
Using a mobile phone while driving
etc etc

When they get caught - makes we happy - but so many of them get away with it.

 

[Easy 10]

I have a friend who's missus is having a baby. Every day we get updates on FB from him and a couple of times a week a graph type thing that informs us the foetus is as long as a pencil and weighs the same as a shoe or some such bollocks. That's what I hate. That shit.

Can you just imagine what that FB page will be like once she has actually spawned ? Thousands and thousands of near-identical pics of their precious bawling red-faced shitfactory, day and night, from every conceivable angle. Like when you draw one of those pics through a notebook, making it slightly different on each page, and then you thumb the pages to animate it like a little "movie". Yup. That. That's what going to be plastered all over your FB wall for the next 16 years.

And then there'll be the updates on every single tiny bit of "news".

"Awww, Foccacia tilted her little head this morning and shat all over my thumb when I was changing her. I SWEAR she smiled !!"
"LOL hun !"
"hahahaa yes they do that don't they !!"
"Aww bless !"

:

 

[Eggman]

Overfilling a kettle for one cup of tea. FFS. Save the planet.

Sent from my SM-G800F using Tapatalk

 

[DavidRyder]

Can you just imagine what that FB page will be like once she has actually spawned ? Thousands and thousands of near-identical pics of their precious bawling red-faced shitfactory, day and night, from every conceivable angle. Like when you draw one of those pics through a notebook, making it slightly different on each page, and then you thumb the pages to animate it like a little "movie". Yup. That. That's what going to be plastered all over your FB wall for the next 16 years.

And then there'll be the updates on every single tiny bit of "news".

"Awww, Foccacia tilted her little head this morning and shat all over my thumb when I was changing her. I SWEAR she smiled !!"
"LOL hun !"
"hahahaa yes they do that don't they !!"
"Aww bless !"

:

Had to put hand over mouth and stifle my laugh when reading this, boss sitting opposite!