Paintballing - whats the POINT ?

[Easy 10]

I'm not a girl.

And it cuffing DOES hurt, wots and wots.

 

[marshy68]

I went for the first time yesterday (reluctantly as a stand-in as somoene else had dropped out), and I was right, I really cannot see the attraction.

You run around in the woods in a boiler suit and hockey mask shooting the other team whilst obviously trying not to get shot. You inevitably get shot, and the protocol is that you hold your gun up in the air and walk to the "medic" (to show that you're dead and going to get reincarnated or something). When walking back like this, you're not supposed to be shot at. Inevitably I was blasted to bits, as was anyone else doing this, so that went out the window and I just stayed behind cover even if I'd been shot.

The mask steams up, you can barely see what you're doing or who's who, you're surrounded by "weekend warrior" saddos who do this shit every week, along with all the Call of Duty kids dosed up to the eyeballs on Haribo and Redbull. I was shot in the back of the head, on my little finger (which I can't now move), and in the throat. The one on the throat f***ing hurt, and to add insult to injury the paint shot up under the mask and into my mouth.

I was on the "winning team" once when we got through the course and rang their bell or something, got through that one unscathed at least. And the ONE highlight of the afternoon was when I shot someone of about 14 in the ear and heard a satisfying yelp. Little bastard still carried on though as if nothing had happened, when he was supposed to be DEAD.

Never again.

wise words - i did it at work social got shot in the head some how missed by my supposed protective mask and i had and egg on my forehead for a day or two complete load of wank for people too scared to join the army.

 

[marshy68]

Steve Foster shot me in Laser Warriors

bizarrely me too...did you work for ef language travel ??

 

[Tomo1794]

I went once about 4/5 years ago, can't remember much about it but got shot in the hand from about 2 yards away which f***ing killed! Thought it was alright apart from that though. However lets just say I wasn't going for it like Rambo, I was more of a :headdownstaylowtrynottogetshot: kind of guy

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

It certainly is for sad acts. A work do a few years ago divided the office into two teams. The majority who simply wanted to get away from the place, back into Brighton for serious fun part of the night which entailed drinking as much free ale as possible. And the four dweebs who thought they were in an episode of Band of Brothers.

One tragic moment was when one of these dandruff-ridden little wazzocks chucked some sort of smoke bomb into a group of us waiting to start and shouted 'fire in the hole'.

Satisfyingly one of the sales directors twatted him later that night after a few beers. POssibly the most saddening three hours of my life that year. Awful. Simply awful.

 

[Brightonfan1983]

...

 

[Brightonfan1983]

We did one a few years ago as a 'Teambuilding' exercise. We ended up f***ing HATING each other.

It's SHIT

 

[NickBHAFC18]

hahahaha, this made my laugh....suppose its not for everyone

 

[DarrenFreemansPerm]

bizarrely me too...did you work for ef language travel ??

Ha ha! No didn't work for ef, I was about 12 years old at the time!

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

I resent the way they gatecrash your work place to try and sell it to you in the same fashion that they use to sell timeshares in Playa Del Las Americas

 

[marshy68]

Ha ha! No didn't work for ef, I was about 12 years old at the time!

embarrassingly i was about 30!

 

[Dave the OAP]

I ashamedly went on a work do that ended up with me and this TWAT from marketing having a punch up in the car park!!!

He shot at me and sure enough, hit me in the shoulder and it bloody hurt, so I put my gun thing up and started to head fro the guy who registered that you were dead and he continued shooting at me, hitting me all over. I called out to him that I had been kiilled " you stupid blind c**T" and he just carried on.

Anyway afterwards in the car park, he was boasting how he had shot me so many times and how funny it was, and I sidled up behind him ...it was like one of those things you see on telly where everyone went quiet but he didnt realise and just carried on...I am not proud what I did next, suffice it to say i shoved him and asked if he thought that was funny, and proceded to hit him..anyway we were called before HR director and told to calm down!!

Never again!

 

[Finch]

I've done paintball twice and it was a blast. Both times it was *only* with my friends or colleagues. Going with randoms wouldn't be any fun for me at all.

Getting hit doesn't hurt apart from the odd one that may hit a tender spot or glance and not burst and stings a little. Its certainly not as painful as the many times I've been hit as an opening batsman. They rent anti fog masks which is a no brainer.

We arranged a work one, purely voluntary on a weekend and about 30% were girls from the office which the paintball place found odd. We played various games and they had a crashed helicopter in the middle of the course with one game being you just crashed and need to escape while the other team hunts you down (take turns obviously). Was all very fun, two work mates (one of them my flatmate) ordered gilly suits off the net and looked right nobbers, they were the targets all day long. At the end me and a colleague both had some ammo left over so we stood back to back and did a ten paces and shoot, of course I (naively) was the only one who actually walked ten paces, I just turned around to be gunned down mafia style. It really doesn't hurt.

 

[Marc1901]

you seem like a right laugh to be around.

 

[Notters]

I'm supposed to be going on May 19th, so really hoping we somehow make it to the playoff final and I can make my excuses!

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

i never been as to be honest it looks like my idea of hell........but the paintballing episode of "spaced" was brilliant, and judging by the tales on here it sums up the activity quite well

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Paintballing is HOMO-erotic soldier-game nonsense for pretend serial killers to act out their fantasies, and repressed closet bumders to take out their frustrations

 

[Common as Mook]

They key to painballing is a cricket box.

 

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

They key to painballing is a cricket box.

That is the best typo ever.