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Paintballing - whats the POINT ?



Barrel of Fun

Abort, retry, fail
I'd also like to join the Paintball is Gubbins brigade.

I went once as part of a hockey club club day/piss up. I reckon it may have been fun with just our group of 40 or so, but there were some weekend warriors who spent a fortune on bags and bags of ammo and smoke bombs, the like. All in camouflage gear and painted faces (despite them being obscured by a massive mask). One of them even butted one of our guys which did not go down particularly well.

I only had one bullet for the final assault and ended up getting clobbered, akin to that Kitkat advert by the wankers in the green and black. As with Easy, I managed to imbibe some paint during my instantaneous death.

Bollocks to paintball.
 




Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,983
Surrey
I'd also like to join the Paintball is Gubbins brigade.

I reckon it may have been fun with just our group of 40 or so, but there were some weekend warriors who spent a fortune on bags and bags of ammo and smoke bombs, the like.

It wouldn't. It would have been almost as gash, I can assure you.
 


Mutts Nuts

New member
Oct 30, 2011
4,918
I went for the first time yesterday (reluctantly as a stand-in as somoene else had dropped out), and I was right, I really cannot see the attraction.

You run around in the woods in a boiler suit and hockey mask shooting the other team whilst obviously trying not to get shot. You inevitably get shot, and the protocol is that you hold your gun up in the air and walk to the "medic" (to show that you're dead and going to get reincarnated or something). When walking back like this, you're not supposed to be shot at. Inevitably I was blasted to bits, as was anyone else doing this, so that went out the window and I just stayed behind cover even if I'd been shot.

The mask steams up, you can barely see what you're doing or who's who, you're surrounded by "weekend warrior" saddos who do this shit every week, along with all the Call of Duty kids dosed up to the eyeballs on Haribo and Redbull. I was shot in the back of the head, on my little finger (which I can't now move), and in the throat. The one on the throat f***ing hurt, and to add insult to injury the paint shot up under the mask and into my mouth.

I was on the "winning team" once when we got through the course and rang their bell or something, got through that one unscathed at least. And the ONE highlight of the afternoon was when I shot someone of about 14 in the ear and heard a satisfying yelp. Little bastard still carried on though as if nothing had happened, when he was supposed to be DEAD.

Never again.

I went abour 25 years ago we did not have masks at the time it was great fun, like you i`m too old now , you should take up painting or knitting:D
 
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Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,991
Paintballing is a load of old shite. I once went and the oppo was the f***ing ta. Whilst they pinned us down with perfectly drilled moves we got so bored with being shot consistently half the team sloped off into the woods for a bifter. Last time i went on a stag do we got a stripper to turn up. Very odd watching a nurse take her clothes off in a field in total silence
 


Paddy B

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
2,084
Horsham
Yep I will also subscribe to "Paintballing is wank" club. Went a year or so ago (also as a late stand in) The clientele were either 12 year old boys or middle aged warriors. The highlight was a 40
Something South African chap who , I am sure, genuinely believed he was commanding a platoon. Hilarious. But that was the sum total of the enjoyment that day. Bloody knackering, hurts like bugger when you get hit and they sting you for extra ammo, without which it's pretty much pointless.
 




D

Deleted member 2719

Guest
I did it on stag do about 5 years ago with a load of nippers and i enjoyed the pain of being shot in a strange way.
I think what helped is being hit between the eyes (paint covering my goggles) within 10 secs of the start so that helped me sharpen up a bit.
But what i would say is that it is a one off thing i couldn't be arsed to do it again, whereas i did karting last year and i am still buzzing now,mind you it is the blood!!
 


drew

Drew
NSC Patron
Oct 3, 2006
23,641
Burgess Hill
It's a bit of fun for stag weekends. Last time was for my nephew's stag. Paintballing Saturday and go karting on the Sunday. Regulars are sad but then you get that in any walk of life.
 






StonehamPark

#Brighton-Nil
Oct 30, 2010
10,133
BC, Canada
The one on the throat f***ing hurt, and to add insult to injury the paint shot up under the mask and into my mouth.
Never again.

Hahaha love it! I don't know whether comedy was intended or not but you have succeeded!
I love paintball, good fitness, tactical and get the adrenaline rush.
Getting shot on the top of the head/small of the back is a **** though.
 


BHAboi

Active member
Jan 26, 2009
381
BHA
went last week slipped and hurt my knee resulting in me falling into a load of nettles. But managed to smuggle out a few green smoke grenades for an away day :clap:
 


Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,653
Hither (sometimes Thither)
if i were ever to go, which i frigging shan't unless i'm brainwashed one day or made it to do after being held captive for 5 years in some middle eastern hellhole before being suddenly released to become the teacher of the leader of my imprisoner's son who is a lifelong fan of firing globules of coloured oils at people he very wrongly just wants to hurt, then i'd sneak a book into my overalls and disappear up a tree for a read. I'd have a woodpecker in my box too to drill me a hole in a tree to nap in. I'll probably eat a couple of bird eggs too, thinking there's chocolate inside, and sleep whilst waiting for the parents to attack, who i shall then eat too, beak-first. Come 5pm or sunset i'll lower myself from the tree, wipe a couple of bits of paint on my slacks and claim i was the victim of a terrible onslaught some hours ago. Then go home full-stomached and with a few chapters of a novel i'm enjoying at the time finished.
 




Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
Hahaha love it! I don't know whether comedy was intended or not but you have succeeded!
I love paintball, good fitness, tactical and get the adrenaline rush.
Getting shot on the top of the head/small of the back is a **** though.

My missus absolutely fell about when she saw the swollen welt on my neck, and then nearly wet herself when I told her all the paint shot up into my gob.

The one saving grace was that in the "safe zone" they had copious fruit juices, I drank gallons of the stuff. And then went for a wee on their assault course.
 


Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
Oh that was the other thing. At the end of one of the games, the instructor (or whatever he was, he was in all army gear predictably) shouted "GAME OVER...GAME OVER", about 10 times. Except the sugared-up Haribo Crew just kept on firing for ages before finally, sheepishly, claiming "we couldn't 'eeer could we ?"

That cued up the speech that he'd apparently been on 3 tours of Iraq, and "in amongst all the crap there, when I shouted CEASEFIRE then every stopped IMMEDIATELY, so don't give me that shhhhhii....rubbish".

I felt naughty as well for some reason, even though all I'd been doing was crouching in a ditch looking for a way back to the juice.
 


daveinprague

New member
Oct 1, 2009
12,572
Prague, Czech Republic
From a corporate bonding point a view, its a good opportunity to inflict pain and some humiliation onto management.

Years ago in the comms dept at Amex, we had a supv who was very into guns. Did combat shotgun competitions and weird shit like that. On the painballing bonding day out, not only did we manage to cover him head to toe in a myriad of colours, and cause him consierable pain with close range shots, when trying to escape, he tripped over a tree stump and broke his ankle. We all felt we had bonded.
 




StonehamPark

#Brighton-Nil
Oct 30, 2010
10,133
BC, Canada
4d65791802057.jpg

I just gowne and gowt shawt ba sowm Mouwlscuuuum boys in the paiintbaawl
 


brakespear

Doctor Worm
Feb 24, 2009
12,326
Sleeping on the roof
Laser Warriors is less painful!
I went to Laser Warriors (or similar), ignored the rules about running and ran full tilt into a painted-black wall, which was rather a surprise at the time. Cut my eyebrow open too.
 


itszamora

Go Jazz Go
Sep 21, 2003
7,282
London
I quite enjoyed it when I went on a stag do last year, but given the choice I'd definitely prefer to go karting.
 


mrbigshot

New member
Dec 15, 2009
624
Mid Sussex
Go karting much better. Add me to the paintball hater clubs, been once last year it was wank, an I got put on the other team to make equal numbers so I had no friends with me I was really pissed off, and on my team was a teenager with a palace scarf on, so I er, shot him once :lol:
 




Mr Banana

Tedious chump
Aug 8, 2005
5,491
Standing in the way of control
if i were ever to go, which i frigging shan't unless i'm brainwashed one day or made it to do after being held captive for 5 years in some middle eastern hellhole before being suddenly released to become the teacher of the leader of my imprisoner's son who is a lifelong fan of firing globules of coloured oils at people he very wrongly just wants to hurt, then i'd sneak a book into my overalls and disappear up a tree for a read

Marvellous notion, seconded. Last time I went (on a stag do, yet again, when the Albion were playing, yet again) I simply gave up all semblance of pride upon being offered another overpriced bag of pellets to misdirect at the crashing bores who were enjoying running around a patch of forest shooting paint up each other's arses. Sneaked off, found a hut, tried to get score updates for a couple of hours. Another memorable day.
 


Papak

Not an NSC licker...
Jul 11, 2003
2,280
Horsham
+1 to the "it is shit brigade", tried it once and never again.

Steamed up goggles and boring as hell.

Also, it doesn't hurt if you get hit unless you're a girl.
 


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