[Help] OT neighbour advice

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Try and lance the boil and get it sorted amicably as neighbour disputes have a habit of escalating and there are, usually, no winners.

 

[rippleman]

Is he ill? Just wonder because you say he has always been pleasant and reasonable before and his transition into an unreasonable and irrational individual could be something dementia related.

But then dumping commercial waste on a shared drive without prior consultation would probably have pissed me off as well!

 

[pork pie]

Using a domestic shared driveway for the temporary storage of commercial waste, can understand why he might be a bit miffed.

This. Also work vans should be banned from residential properties. Even vans parked close-by are an eyesore, let alone on a shared drive. There is no mention of the type or size, but assuming it is not a car sized one, it could also inhibit on his parking (even if "on the posters side", it would restrict movement and door swing).

I feel sorry for the neighbour. The OP sounds like a neighbour from hell, and will hopefully have moved before the poor guy needs to sell his home.

 

[Goldstone1976]

I bet this thread is going exactly how the OP thought it would...

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I would absolutely HATE it if a neighbour was regularly dumping commercial waste on a shared drive, even if it were only for a day or two.

 

[pearl]

Hoping for some useful advise on dealing with my next door neighbour.
He has recently retired and has lots of time on his hands, he seems to use most of that giving me a hard time. On occasions I have some waste from work collected from the shared drive and he hates that but it’s kind of unavoidable for me running a small business and I always have it collected within a day of putting it there.

More recently he has started to become angry bordering aggressive, telling me how and where I can park, how I should or shouldn’t maintain my garden and whilst I was on holiday last week he decided to take the waste I’d left out and arranged to be collected back in my garden. (Trespassing as the gate was locked). He has also sent me a few angry emails with pictures he has taken of my garden over the wall and from his bedroom windows.

We used to get on well but after him shouting at me about my van being parked outside his house I told him to piss off, i know that hasn’t helped but I’d had a long day and it’s onstreet parking.

He has now sent me a text demanding a meeting at a neutral location that is 4 miles away from where we live. He is making me out to be some kind of neighbour from well when in actual fact I’ve done nothing but improve my house since we brought it 8 years ago!

He used to seem a nice guy and I’ve even done a fair bit of work for him in the past but I feel I need to put a stop to this despite him thinking I’m in the wrong.

maybe since he retired he's discovered you're an annoying neighbour

 

[LamieRobertson]

If he reckons your garden isn’t much cop (your problem not his) then store the waste there and ignore him...but also keep a record of any incidents just in case things escalate.
If he has that much time on his hands you could introduce him to NSC he’ll be up to 67k posts in no time

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

i reckon you should stop leaving waste on the drive, thats probably major source of contention.

Almost certainly this I would have thought. Obviously I have no idea what sort of 'waste' material you leave in your front garden/drive, but if it is an eyesore I can kind of appreciate the guy getting upset.

The problem with any kind of neighbourly dispute is that it starts over a really trivial matter, but before you know it has escalated and got out of control. Having good neighbours is important. I think you need to rebuild some bridges.

 

[Arthritic Toe]

I had a white van man from hell living next door but one to me, a few years ago. Thought he owned the close, dumped his builders crap everywhere and used to block anyone in who dared to park in 'his' place on the public road. OP - did you used to live in Camberley by any chance?

 

[pearl]

If he reckons your garden isn’t much cop (your problem not his) then store the waste there and ignore him...but also keep a record of any incidents just in case things escalate.
If he has that much time on his hands you could introduce him to NSC he’ll be up to 67k posts in no time

and it sounds like he'd fit right in

 

[sully]

I concur with most regarding the waste. It would piss me off mightily if my neighbour did that without discussing it first. You do say “on occasion”, though, so it’s difficult to tell how much of a. Issue this is. Are these occasions weekly? Monthly? Annually? It might make a difference.

With regard to parking, I’m one who can’t understand why people get upset at others parking outside their house (though do find it odd when people park outside ours to visit our neighbours when there’s an empty space outside their house). As long as you don’t do it as a matter of course and we’re not talking a huge van, I’d just explain that you’re doing nothing wrong but would surely park outside your own house if that space was available.



Oh, and whatever you do, don’t tell him you “brought” your house. That’s one thing that really gets my goat and the conversation wouldn’t go well from there!

 

[Lush]

Even if it gets collected the next day, if it happens every few days then that's a regular eye sore. And now he's retired, he has to look at it all day.

Also, don't under estimate how territorial humans are, even when it's irrational. It's one reason why we've survived as a species and is hard-wired into our genetic make up. It's why we get so upset about things like someone sitting in your regular seat, even if a stadium isn't full.

It's you causing the problem, so I think it's up to you to find a solution - some good ideas mentioned above.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Agree the best way forward would be to sit down and talk about it.

But the thought also occurs as to whether you might be running a business from home without change of use planning permission.

Not sure about the technicalities of that sort of thing. Only an issue probably if you're self employed(?)

 

[Justice]

All the office bods with their limp wrists and soft hands up in arms Ban vans from residential areas is the best one yet.

 

[strings]

All the office bods with their limp wrists and soft hands up in arms Ban vans from residential areas is the best one yet.

It is in the restrictive covenants on my property - no caravans or mobile homes, no business vans or lorries. Applies to all properties on the estate.

 

[Bad Ash]

It is in the restrictive covenants on my property - no caravans or mobile homes, no business vans or lorries. Applies to all properties on the estate.

My understanding is that these conditions are generally put there by the developer so that the site looks as nice as possible while they have houses to sell. Therefore once they've sold the last plot they have no interest is ensuring the covenants are adhered to.

 

[cuthbert]

It may be an idea to offer to remove any bulky rubbish, excluding fridges, for your neighbour when you're clearing yours.

 

[astralavi]

My understanding is that these conditions are generally put there by the developer so that the site looks as nice as possible while they have houses to sell. Therefore once they've sold the last plot they have no interest is ensuring the covenants are adhered to.

If it is share of the freehold, it is likely to be in breach of the lease? common areas need consent of the other

 

[Diablo]

Oh, and whatever you do, don’t tell him you “brought” your house. That’s one thing that really gets my goat and the conversation wouldn’t go well from there!

Why is that?...Presume it`s a mobile home which he brought to where he lives now.

 

[Chicken Run]

Is he ill? Just wonder because you say he has always been pleasant and reasonable before and his transition into an unreasonable and irrational individual could be something dementia related.

But then dumping commercial waste on a shared drive without prior consultation would probably have pissed me off as well!

Me too!