Objective Analysis Of Football Chants

[GJN1]

"You're shit, ahhhhh!" as their goalkeeper, one of a miniscule percentage of the population actually making his living from professional football, thumps the ball deep into our half...

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Did you miss the nuance here.....?

To be fair, I believe that many of NSC's younger and even not-so-young posters may be unfamiliar with the character of Sandy Richardson, the motel owner's wheelchair-bound son in the ATV soap opera, Crossroads. Indeed they may be equally unaware of the soap opera Crossroads. Or the television station ATV.

 

[Martlet]

As far as i am aware Barry Fry does not **********.

He was also born in Bedford, which if I'm not mistaken is some way south of the North of England

 

[dazzer6666]

I don't believe Rafa is, or has ever been, employed as a waiter, so that particular chant is only 66.6% correct.

 

[heathgate]

To be fair, I believe that many of NSC's younger and even not-so-young posters may be unfamiliar with the character of Sandy Richardson, the motel owner's wheelchair-bound son in the ATV soap opera, Crossroads. Indeed they may be equally unaware of the soap opera Crossroads. Or the television station ATV.

Indeed...... it's certainly become niche.... but often sung in the north stand.

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[Superphil]

Whilst we may have wanted Falmer, I don't think the grammar is correct to say 'We are the Falmer, Wanters'

 

[Guy Fawkes]

"And if you are a Palace fan surrender or you'll die ..."
- There has been very little research carried out an therefore proof to confirm the claim that they do actually die as a direct result of failing to surrender


'When i was just a little boy, i asked my mother what shall i be...shall i be Palace or Brighton'
No i didn't ask my mother this question and she certainly didn't say to me
'Go fetch your fathers gun'
- especially as he doesn't own one so how can i fetch it ?

 

[Guy Fawkes]

'Now is the time for marching'
- I'm not convinced that it is the right time to start to march whilst the team is playing a football match and when the fans are watching the game. Why would it be a good time to stop and march up and down instead?

I've been to watch the Albion play Palace at Selhurst Park but have never seen a muppet show (or any advertising for one) whilst there

 

[Guy Fawkes]

there is no evidence that **insert the name of a match official of your choice** is actually the illegitimate product of an union between two people

So are you saying that they may have been created in a test tube or cloned instead? - highly unlikely imo but i suppose you do make a good case for this possibly being true

 

[smeg]

"Going down Old Shoreham Road, To see the Brighton Aces" is just an out and out lie

 

[timbha]

we were probably being quite astute when we all agreed that Alan Ball was a w****r

not sure why I committed (and confirm each year) to fight for evermore because of the day after Jesus was born

Arsenal FC is that team they call the Arsenal

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Leeds fans are liars,basically.
I have never seen them marching together anywhere.
Strolling towards a ground,yes.
Walking away from a ground,yes.
Running towards and away from other fans,definitely.
But marching, never.

 

[Cian]

I'm fairly certain that Molly Malone doesn't wander the streets ( broad and narrow) of Dublin clapping and chanting " Brighton"!

Seeing as she spends most of her time outside a tourist office (moved for a tram line installation) getting her tits rubbed by tourists, I'd agree.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Now don't get me wrong, I really, really, really like Brighton and Hove Albion.
But the best side the world has ever seen is, quite frankly, pushing it a bit.

 

[erkan]

My guess is that less than 1% of those singing have ever followed the Albion over sea...

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[BadFish]

Although referring a football match might be a good advert for hiring out ones posterior. I think it would be a bit far fetched to thin that there is any correlation between these two chosen activities. Especially when you throw in the added contition of hair loss.

 

[JCL666]

To be fair to us and other teams that have played Leeds United, Jimmy Savile was born in Leeds and did in fact die there too.

He could therefore be considered local to that area.

 

[NorthLainer]

Fair enough, we're all guilty of chanting nonsensical bolleaux at matches from time to time, or indeed constantly, but how often do we sit down and analyse exactly WHY a particular chant is bolleaux?

To give an Albion Withdean-era example:

CHANT: "He wears a magic hat"

ANALYSIS: There is no documented evidence of Russell Slade ever having owned, or been in possession of, an item of headgear displaying magical properties. FACT.



Please feel free to add your own examples BELOW.

Salde did at least where a hat most of the time, although I likewise saw any evidence of supernatural ability.

That was at least more accurate than the same chant being directed toward CMS, whose head I never once saw betopped with headgear. Evidence of any magical ability was sadly missing too.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

I have met a few clean northerners and their fathers.

 

[JCL666]

I don't believe that the moment the team we support scores a goal we are collectively struck with amnesia and subsequently need to ask the identity of the opposing team while pointing in an aggressive manner at their fans.