[Film] Movies you expected to enjoy but didn't...

[BBassic]

Transcendence.

I'm a big advocate of transhumanism and AI and future tech and all that so the movie was, seemingly, perfect for me. But it just fell flat. It tried to deal with some big ideas regarding our future as a species and the benefit, or detriment, of technology to that future but didn't seem to settle on a stance.

Lacklustre.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

Chappie. Awful, film, truly diabolical.

My son loved District 9, and so did I if I'm honest smile and so we went with high hopes. But we were both in agreement, this film is utter shit.

The idea behind it is quite promising, but the result is just predictable, sentimental hogwash. Die Antwoord, the South African rave duo, are cast as heroes/villains, and neither is worthy of any future job as an actor. On the evidence of this, nor is Hugh Jackman. Dev Patel is marginally better, but what was Sigourney Weaver thinking?

Product placements are ridiculously prominent in this film, and one of the robots is a carbon copy of Robocop.

We laughed at inappropriate moments, and cringed when we were supposed to laugh or cry. Do not go to see this movie.

 

[Gwylan]

I don't think Cleese has done anything remotely funny since 'Life of Brian'.

You've not seen Clockwise? There are some dodgy moments but it's pretty good (then again, it's by Michael Frayn rather than Cleese or any of the Python boys, so the script is kept fairly tight)

 

[sussex_guy2k2]

Crash. Gravity. Pretty much anything with Sandra Bullock in.

 

[Easy 10]

Crash. Gravity. Pretty much anything with Sandra Bullock in.

So you expect to enjoy a Sandra Bullock movie ?

 

[MattBackHome]

So you expect to enjoy a Sandra Bullock movie ?

Speed is ****ing brilliant.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

You've not seen Clockwise? There are some dodgy moments but it's pretty good (then again, it's by Michael Frayn rather than Cleese or any of the Python boys, so the script is kept fairly tight)

I have to say I love Clockwise. The tractor scene and the swapping clothes part .... well .... I laugh before they even come up. I know, very sad.

 

[Oscar]

Lego Movie.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Fargo

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Lord of the Rings. The first one. Looks visually stunning, great reviews, everyone raves about it.

I've fallen asleep on each of the three times I've tried to watch it.

I can't say the same for the others in the trilogy, as after my FOTR experience, I simply haven't bothered with them. So I'll just say FOTR. Sacrilege, I know.

 

[midnight_rendezvous]

The Star Wars prequels
Jurassic Park 3 (and I can foresee JPW being a film I desperately want to be good but will probably be awful)
Indiana Jones 4
The Matrix sequels (what a let down considering just how good The Matrix was)

 

[Simster]

Speed is ****ing brilliant.

Easy Ten's point is well made. Speed is the exception that proves the rule that anything with her in it is bound to be utter utter gash.


Agree about Cleese. He's like a tall, awkward version of Lenny Henry - never likely to be funny again, and yet deemed part of the establishment for some unknown reason. Unlike Henry, at least Cleese was funny once.

The Matrix sequels were woefully disappointing, as were the Star Wars movies. As for American Hustle - WHY? Every single Hustle TV show was better because they only took an hour to deliver the same sort of twists. Did it really need turning into a film?

 

[Codner's Wallop]

More of a case of a movie I didn't expect to be SO BAD:

My partner and I decided on Before Midnight, following so many rave reviews.

Comfortably the most pretentious, pointless, plotless, painful pap I've ever seen.

The melancholic theme just adds to the misery. Once you've sat through the opening tortuous duologue, and begged for a change of scene (ANY scene) you'll soon realise this romantic is about as romantic and colourful as a paving slab...

 

[sussex_guy2k2]

So you expect to enjoy a Sandra Bullock movie ?

Well there is the million dollar question. No, not anymore I don't. But both are critically acclaimed films and films that other people built up as being, well...good.

What I essentially realised was that it wasn't necessarily the films I disliked (although Gravity in particular is a pile of Dirk Kuyt), rather it is just her being on the screen "acting" that bugs me. Well "acting" and talking. And being there. With her face on the screen. Talking. And really just being there. I find that ruins a lot of her films.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

Star Wars.

Everyone I know loves it, and God knows I've tried. But no, not for me.

 

[Brovion]

You've not seen Clockwise? There are some dodgy moments but it's pretty good (then again, it's by Michael Frayn rather than Cleese or any of the Python boys, so the script is kept fairly tight)

Ok, apart from Clockwise what has Cleese done Since 'Life of Brian' that has been remotely funny? Agree that it is a good film with one of the great move quotes in it (the one about 'handling the hope')

 

[Easy 10]

Speed is ****ing brilliant.

Agreed, but its not like she carries the film. Anyone could've played Annie. The prosecution would also like the court to consider Exhibit B: Speed 2: Cruise Control.

Furthermore, the prosecution would like to place on record that much the same as the presence of Christian Slater on a movie poster, if Sandra Bullock's name appears amongst the cast, then the film can almost without exception be instantly dismissed as a dud. Anyone expecting to "enjoy" a film starring either of these two actors, or (god forbid) both of them, should be dragged into the street by the hair and beaten to death with their own shoes.

No further questions.

 

[Easy 10]

Well there is the million dollar question. No, not anymore I don't. But both are critically acclaimed films and films that other people built up as being, well...good.

What I essentially realised was that it wasn't necessarily the films I disliked (although Gravity in particular is a pile of Dirk Kuyt), rather it is just her being on the screen "acting" that bugs me. Well "acting" and talking. And being there. With her face on the screen. Talking. And really just being there. I find that ruins a lot of her films.

Agreed.
Bullocks presence in any half decent film is akin to spotting a dead vole in a cheesecake. You know you'd have probably quite enjoyed it, if it wasn't there.

 

[MattBackHome]

Christian Slater

Heathers, Young Guns 2, True Romance - all outstanding works of art.

I rewatched Robin HoodOT recently and was surprised how ****ing awful it was.

Admittedly he's been having a bit of a rough spell since 1993.

 

[Questions]

Lord of the Rings. The first one. Looks visually stunning, great reviews, everyone raves about it.

I've fallen asleep on each of the three times I've tried to watch it.

I can't say the same for the others in the trilogy, as after my FOTR experience, I simply haven't bothered with them. So I'll just say FOTR. Sacrilege, I know.

I fell asleep at the cinema watching the first one and got a violent dig in the ribs from my lovely wife because of the additional sound effects I was adding to the film.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Agreed.
Bullocks presence in any half decent film is akin to spotting a dead vole in a cheesecake. You know you'd have probably quite enjoyed it, if it wasn't there.

Harsh - I liked Murder by Numbers and The Proposal.