The Large One
Who's Next?
A decent story, but I'm quite upset at the lack of hilarious stories from the NSC faithful. There must be some classics out there?! I'll check back later
Not sure anyone could top that one, frankly.
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Most embarrassing first date stories
- Thread starter wellquickwoody
- Start date
Not sure anyone could top that one, frankly.
LamieRobertson
Not awoke
Listened to the guy on the radio last night ..they have been out on date number 2
No where near it...but taking my first date down the pub as you do..met a friend...tried to introduce them to each other ..but couldn't remember either of their names
...needless to say there wasn't a second date
No where near it...but taking my first date down the pub as you do..met a friend...tried to introduce them to each other ..but couldn't remember either of their names
...needless to say there wasn't a second date
No where near it...but taking my first date down the pub as you do..met a friend...tried to introduce them to each other ..but couldn't remember either of their names
...needless to say there wasn't a second date
Not a date but that reminds me of when I was at a rave once with my then girlfriend. I had gone outside to chill out a bit with some mates and bumped into this girl who I recognised as being a friend of my girlfriend's. So I told her to stay where she was and went back inside. I made it through the crowd on the dancefloor, eventually found my girlfriend and got her to follow me outside.
After wandering around for a bit with her asking what the **** was going on, I found the woman who she knew (and who'd been waiting there for ages) and went "Ta-daa!".
They both looked at me gone out as my girlfriend said "J, I have absolutely no idea who this person is....".
In my defence, I may have been completely off my tits at the time. It was still rather embarrassing.
Durlston
"You plonker, Rodney!"
If it wouldn't flush she's obviously an overweight porker.
Had it have been a Cheryl Cole, Maria Sharapova or Pixie Lott lookalike I'd do her up the arse to compensate the huge bill.
Had it have been a Cheryl Cole, Maria Sharapova or Pixie Lott lookalike I'd do her up the arse to compensate the huge bill.
pearl
Well-known member
this thread is very disappointing
Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews
Remainer
I'd have have stuck a Palace shirt on her and smashed her to bits (but then again I am a bit of a Morris Day)
LamieRobertson
Not awoke
JC Footy Genius
Bringer of TRUTH
- Jun 9, 2015
- 10,568
Fishing buoyant turds out of the bog on the first date .. she's a keeper
Durlston
"You plonker, Rodney!"
Sorry if you were offended at my post, pearl.
pishhead
Well-known member
Went back to his for a bottle of wine and a film.
Someone is being economical with the truth.
Someone is being economical with the truth.
greyseagull
New member
Fair play to whoever paused for a moment to take the photo
I heard of one very similar .
Girlfriend meeting family for the first time. Left them in the conservatory, went upstairs to the toilet to make room for dinner and deposited a monster that wouldn't flush.
Obviously on the same wavelength as the girl in the first story (you never know may have even been her), threw it out the window and it flew down the roof and landed with a plop on the conservatory roof.
Didn't realise until she walked back into dinner and everyone's looking at her. Then her eyes drifted upwards and she recognised her old friend.
Girlfriend meeting family for the first time. Left them in the conservatory, went upstairs to the toilet to make room for dinner and deposited a monster that wouldn't flush.
Obviously on the same wavelength as the girl in the first story (you never know may have even been her), threw it out the window and it flew down the roof and landed with a plop on the conservatory roof.
Didn't realise until she walked back into dinner and everyone's looking at her. Then her eyes drifted upwards and she recognised her old friend.
pearl
Well-known member
- Aug 8, 2005
- 27,227
We have all been there with a turd that won't flush but at what stage do these people think getting it out with their hands and flinging it out of the window is a good idea?
Surely if you're willing to do that, you could pick it up and mush it up a bit and try again?!
Where are these peoples toilet brushes.
As a final point, why are people doing turds in "foreign" places anyway? I would never do a turd other than on home soil.
I heard one where a chap bought a lady back to his for some first date fun. In the morning he had to go to work so left her in bed and told her to just shut the door behind her to lock it and that he really enjoyed the date and would love to see her again. With the place to herself she took an Eartha that was so big it wouldn't flush. She fished it out and put it in a carrier bag to drop into a bin on her way home.
She gathers all her bits and picks up the bag of her shit and goes into the kitchen for a glass of water.
As instructed she closes the door locked behind her and as she steps off the front step realises she has left the bag of turd on his kitchen counter, ready for him when he returns home later that day.
She gathers all her bits and picks up the bag of her shit and goes into the kitchen for a glass of water.
As instructed she closes the door locked behind her and as she steps off the front step realises she has left the bag of turd on his kitchen counter, ready for him when he returns home later that day.
Gabbafella
Well-known member
- Aug 22, 2012
- 4,906
Going back a few years, I was 24, out clubbing with my old man and he introduced me to this 47 year old cougar, we got chatting and hit it off so I thought what the hell, bit of experience and all that so we arranged to meet up.
Few drinks on the date and it was going well so I was invited back for "a coffee". Things obviously heated up and madam cougar proceeded to jump me, lucky I was still in my prime so I did myself proud.
Laying there with her afterwards, she turns to me and says, "you're a much better lover than your uncle."
My uncle found this way more amusing than I did.
Few drinks on the date and it was going well so I was invited back for "a coffee". Things obviously heated up and madam cougar proceeded to jump me, lucky I was still in my prime so I did myself proud.
Laying there with her afterwards, she turns to me and says, "you're a much better lover than your uncle."
My uncle found this way more amusing than I did.
Wouldn't it have been more of a story if you'd been out clubbing with your uncle rather than your Dad? I mean I could drive a bus through this story it is so lame.
That's the story I was thinking of when I read the OP. Can't remember where I heard / read it though. Or whether it was real or urban myth.