Urban myth I reckon.
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Most embarrassing first date stories
- Thread starter wellquickwoody
- Start date
Urban myth I reckon.
The Stout Yeoman
Master Farter
When I was a young un in the RAF we lived in a barrack block. One of the lads burst in late at night (when all had turned in for the night) announcing that he had just shagged this girl and she was really really wet. As he switched his beside light on, to his horror and much to our amusement his, once white, shirt was a crimson red in colour ....
rogersix
Well-known member
- Jan 18, 2014
- 8,202
at a fireworks display?
turienzo's lovechild
New member
- Oct 25, 2003
- 23,964
unless you'd been "saving up" for a fair while and could shoot from distance, that suggests your old chap was dangerously close to the raging inferno
rogersix
Well-known member
- Jan 18, 2014
- 8,202
a mate of mine (no really), pulled this girl at a club and went back to hers, both of them absolutely shiters. so he smashes her in and they both fall asleep. much to his dismay, he wakes up to discover he has shat the bed! ooooh! so thinking on his feet, before he showers, dresses, and leaves, he takes a handful of the runny stuff and wipes it in her arse crack 
Normal Rob
Well-known member
Mobile phone speed dials can have a lot to answer for. A few years ago an aquaintance of mine (yes, another 'no really') accidentally phoned his wife on his mobile whilst shagging some slap he had pulled on a night out. He had his phone in his back pocket and her wild riding pushed all the wrong buttons.
Gabbafella
Well-known member
- Aug 22, 2012
- 4,906
Oh no, a nobody on the internet doesn't like my story. That's me up all night with worry.
No need to lose sleep over it.
crodonilson
He/Him
Pixie Lott new co-host of Watchdog from 8pm tonight.
Crodo, you have a long and disturbing memory. If I have ever said anything stupid on here, one day, some day, I'm ****ed, aren't I?
Unbelievable, isn't it?
Surely if you have to touch the fvckin' thing, you'd just push it round the U-bend?
............and then wash your hands several times, very carefully!
Paris
Well-known member
Unbelievable, isn't it?
Surely if you have to touch the fvckin' thing, you'd just push it round the U-bend?
............and then wash your hands several times, very carefully!
Could just sh1t in the sink and then break it down with the nearest toothbrush you clap eyes on. Not the brush end, obviously.
Hmmm .................. one rather tends to assume that dropping a monster one isn't usually premeditated ...................
Paris
Well-known member
I seem to remember Stephen Fry saying exactly that a number of years ago.
darkwolf666
Well-known member
Banger... oh, no sorry, just a W ank!!!
B-right-on
Living the dream
Wtf is a Tinder date?
Sounds weird from then on...
Sounds weird from then on...
Listened to the guy on the radio last night ..they have been out on date number 2
I thought she already did number two on the first date?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
marcos3263
Well-known member
A mate - yes really - was out on a blind first date. As he got to the table he pulled out his copy of Private Eye from his back pocket in an attempt to look cultured. As he whipped it out it flung two condoms out and one landed in her lap. He immediately went crimson and got hot under the collar so he took his jumper off. This pulled his shirt up over his head and he was stuck with jumper and shirt around his head and a naked torso while he panicked and wiggled about. Eventually freeing himself he sat down and she passed him back a condom saying that he wont be needing it.
They ate in near silence, he paid the bill and they never saw each other again.
They ate in near silence, he paid the bill and they never saw each other again.