[Misc] Mildly embarrassing

[AmexRuislip]

A couple of times this week I've cultivated the beginnings of a turtles head, as the neighbour has been bumbling around in the hallway. I just KNOW the release will sound like a flock of pigeons taking off, and I don't particularly like advertising the fact that I'm in the throws of dealing with some barbarians at the gate. With that in mind, your VI Poo would be excellent if it could let off some kind of air-horn klaxon sound as its sprayed. I could use that during splashdown.

Could we patent something like that ?

Poodini

 

[jcdenton08]

Whilst I was in the RAF, I learnt certain terminologies, such as:

Opening the bomb bay doors.
Nudging a nuke.
Reliving a Dambuster moment.

All very funny

I like "backing one out" and (particularly when in North America) "dropping the kids off at the pool".

 

[AmexRuislip]

I like "backing one out" and (particularly when in North America) "dropping the kids off at the pool".

Gorillas middle finger.......

 

[Knocky's Nose]

Anyway he's running a bit behind, so he's drafted in his missus today to do the bannisters. As I type, she is outside the bedroom door, painting all the struts. We get on well.....

Do they have Pampas Grass in their front garden?

 

[Questions]

My cockatiel has survived the fallout. He's quite often perched on my shoulder whilst I've been curling out a Vince.

Devoted little chap that he is.

If that doesn’t deserve a phone call to the RSPCB I don’t know what does

 

[grubbyhands]

I like "backing one out" and (particularly when in North America) "dropping the kids off at the pool".

Strangling a darky anyone?

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

Actually I wonder if you might be the face of their new ad campaign.

........
Easy 10 is in the downstairs Kermit, cockatiel on shoulder, sitting upon the throne.

Easy: Christ. Thank **** for that, I was touching cloth.
*sound of bouncing bomb exploding in water*
Easy: Jesus! (turns to camera). Fellas - have you ever curled out a Vince and had this happen?
Cut to shot of cockatiel flying manically for the khazi door. Then cut to shot of Mrs Easy stumbling about, eyes watering and coughing profusely.
*doorbell rings*
Neighbour yells through the letterbox "Blimey Easy, that's worse than that time that Doris dropped her hat in the lift".

Cut to shot of Easy holding aloft the VI Poo product.

"Well, if your Dougie's are as bad as mine, simply spray before you unload"

Shot of Easy spraying the porcelain, another bouncing bomb sound effect and the sound of a chain being flushed.
Cut to shot of cockatiel perching merrily upon the shoulder without a care in the world and Mrs Easy pouring your 3pm "eye opener" with a loving grin.

VI Poo - nothing else will do

Large disclaimer on screen: Not to be used internally.

I might send that to Saatchi and Saatchi. Have you got an agent?

You have too much time on your hands..........

 

[Norman Potting]

Whilst I was in the RAF, I learnt certain terminologies, such as:

Opening the bomb bay doors.
Nudging a nuke.
Reliving a Dambuster moment.

All very funny

Reading this in bed and finding it painful trying not to LOL and wake Mrs. P. NSC Gold

 

[AmexRuislip]

Pinching a loaf

 

[Russconha]

kill two birds with one stone by simply smearing shit over the walls

 

[1066familyman]

I know someone who got a cheap decorator in recently too.

When they got chatting, turns out the decorator was actually an airline pilot, laid off due to Covid and trying to get some money in.

I asked how good his decorating was. To which I got the reply... Not the best, but to be fair, he did make a great job of the landing.