Life, And What To Do When You're Fed Up With Yours

[OGH's Libido]

Regret Minimisation Framework: Ask yourself, what would the 85 year old you regret most?

 

[The Optimist]

Another option is doing a course or training that will allow you to get a job you're interested in.

 

[beorhthelm]

i think our Frutos is suffering from that modern affliction of unfullfilled expectations. everyone else is doing something wonderful, so why arent I? of course most people arent either, they are often in the same boat or they are doing what they enjoy and quite content with everything. you have a job and other half... so exactly where has it gone wrong, what needs to be salvaged? pretty strong words.

many have advocated the travelling, but i sence the tone in which this is suggested its because of an expectation of excitement... what if its not all that, because you dont know what to expect from it? people i know who've traveled have done so with purpose, not as a "meh, i'll try that". i reckon the job is the problem here, every day what must be dealing with the same guff and no change on the horizon (presumably cant go to manager until the manager leaves). change to something unusual or have interest in, even if not qualified you'll probably be able to sell youself as having transferable skills and all that.

 

[The Birdman]

Go traveling it will open your eyes to good and bad things in this world and it won't seem so bad when you get back Especailly if we are in the Premiership

 

[DJ NOBO]

Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received.

Try listening to some Anthony Robbins. Has sorted me out when I'm on a downer. Also, if you don't already, take up running. It'll sort your head out.

Oh, and you'd be mad to take out your own frustrations on your relationship. Sort your own sh*t out before even thinking about sacking her off.

Travelling - only go when your real life is in a good place.

Youll be ok frutos. Sounds like you already know the areas you need to work on.

Here ends the sermon

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Yep, don't leave it another ten years. Do it now, the longer you leave it the harder it will become to change anything. It takes more balls to change something than to keep drifting.

To a point yes. But I know a few people who have completely retrained late in life; the Frau being one of them.

 

[Soulman]

At least you live in Sussex. Try all of your woes whilst living in Essex.

Interesting, have you lived there?

 

[DJ NOBO]

The main thing that consistently pops up in this thread is how travelling can give you new experiences and time to evaluate things.

Do not read all this then decide to think about it. You need to take the plunge as the longer you procrastinate the more likelyhood that you will stagnate and not make that leap that you need to and end up remaining in your current situation.

What's the worst that could happen if you up sticks?

Things look even worse when reality kicks in and the money runs out ?

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

people i know who've traveled have done so with purpose, not as a "meh, i'll try that".

Nothing wrong with a "Ill try that" approach to life.

 

[nwgull]

Sounds like you need to be single if you're talking like that after only 3 years. Being afraid of being alone is the worst reason for staying with someone that you're not that into, and it's unfair on her as well. Besides, at 31 that's not going to happen. 30s has been my favourite decade by a long way - I'm 40 in a couple of months - and some of the most fun times in those 10 years have been when I've been single.

 

[Blackadder]

Go traveling it will open your eyes to good and bad things in this world and it won't seem so bad when you get back Especailly if we are in the Premiership

I chucked in my job with a bank and travelled at the age of 23 missing the best part of two of our seasons in the top division!

Still the best thing I ever did. I still want to do it again.

 

[larus]

IMO (for what it's worth), I think the problem with a lot of people is expectations. We are surrounded by images/stories of all these people with wonderful lives but in general it's all BS.

I read something a little while ago that social media can be a depressing thing for quite a lot of people. They see lots of posts from 'friends' who are off on holiday, nights out, seeing friends, etc. and view their own life as boring. The problem is that they are seeing the exciting parts of other peoples lives. Life, for most people, is a slog (albeit, it does vary a lot for everyone). It's expectation setting. I'm not saying taht you should stick with something which is making you unhappy, and travelling, having time to re-charge and review your life is not a daft plan. As [MENTION=435]Stat Brother[/MENTION] pointed out; exercise is a great way to improve your mental state. I also find my mental state not as positive if I don't exercise regularly. It's also that shit time of year now; clocks gone back and nights drawing in.

You could try to think about where you would like to be and what makes you happy. The materialistic western life is not conducive to happiness; people can often be happier in a 'poorer' environment, where they have more frends and fulfilling social interaction.

As others have pointed out; you come across as a decent guy and I hope you work out the right path for you. If your relationship is stale, then is this because of how you feel, or is how you feel a symptom of the relationship. Maybe yuo need to sit down with her/him and discuss.

I just wish you good luck.

 

[Return of the Rev]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZSb0JCWcXk

 

[Dorset Seagull]

Things look even worse when reality kicks in and the money runs out ?

Obviously it needs planning so you only need to travel within your means if you want a bit more security to come back to

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I chucked in my job with a bank and travelled at the age of 23 missing the best part of two of our seasons in the top division!

Still the best thing I ever did. I still want to do it again.

If you want to go travelling and miss two seasons of top flight Albion football best head off very soon!

 

[Fungus]

I chucked in my job with a bank and travelled at the age of 23 missing the best part of two of our seasons in the top division!

Still the best thing I ever did. I still want to do it again.

What are the barriers now? I appreciate changes are harder to make as you get older and have more responsibilities, but you seem to have the urge!

 

[Doc Lynam]

Ive mentioned this before, highly recommend this book.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Chimp-Paradox-Management-Confidence/dp/009193558X

 

[Blackadder]

If you want to go travelling and miss two seasons of top flight Albion football best head off very soon!

Ha ha, don't want to miss top flight football. Just the travelling bit

 

[Blackadder]

What are the barriers now? I appreciate changes are harder to make as you get older and have more responsibilities, but you seem to have the urge!

To be honest I don't have the barriers Oxy. I note that we are the same age. I retired for a couple of years and I became bored and now have a full time job again with our local council. I am going to review my options again in two years. I may just go to new countries for a month at a time and then come back. Unlike 1980/81 when I just kept going.

 

[Hampster Gull]

Sorry to hear that Frutos. You've always come across a nice bloke on here so take heart from the fact you must present yourself well and give off the right vibe.

Very much this. You're a good guy, take the input form those posts here that resonate for you, take your time but then act, whether thats to travel or stay and make a go of it doing something cbot different. good luck