[Humour] Joke of the day

[Not Andy Naylor]

I'm very confused. Which joke is the joke of the day, the blonde one or the duck one? And is this the same as the joke du jour?

On the subject of the blonde joke, if the pilot is prepared to lie to a passenger so blatantly, how can he be trusted to fly a plane, which requires honest communication with the co-pilot and the ground? Very worrying.

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

I just love duck jokes. I have bookshelves full of them and on my main room wall I have over 15,000 duck jokes scribbled down.

I suppose I am a quack addict?


TNBA

TTF

 

[Simster]

I'm very confused. Which joke is the joke of the day, the blonde one or the duck one? And is this the same as the joke du jour?

On the subject of the blonde joke, if the pilot is prepared to lie to a passenger so blatantly, how can he be trusted to fly a plane, which requires honest communication with the co-pilot and the ground? Very worrying.

I think I can help here. The pilot lied as a means to an end - that end being to get her to sit in standard class without continuing to make a scene in first class. He probably wouldn't lie to his co-pilot or ground control without very good reason such as a hijacker holding him at gun point and forcing him to lie over the radio, or alternatively telling his co-pilot that the reason he has a rich tea biscuit is that there were no bourbons left, knowing full well he'd eaten the bourbons himself when the co-pilot was in the toilet.

 

[jcdenton08]

I think I can help here. The pilot lied as a means to an end - that end being to get her to sit in standard class without continuing to make a scene in first class. He probably wouldn't lie to his co-pilot or ground control without very good reason such as a hijacker holding him at gun point and forcing him to lie over the radio, or alternatively telling his co-pilot that the reason he has a rich tea biscuit is that there were no bourbons left, knowing full well he'd eaten the bourbons himself when the co-pilot was in the toilet.

It really does give a fascinating insight into the complex cockpit politics in the aeronautical industry, a debate I feel has been pushed to the back burner for far too long.

 

[Albion my Albion]

What are we going to do with you guys? Inject you with bleach?

 

[essbee1]

I just love duck jokes. I have bookshelves full of them and on my main room wall I have over 15,000 duck jokes scribbled down.

I suppose I am a quack addict?


TNBA

TTF

Wouldn't a better joke have been that you had thousands of books on bottoms etc? Then
the crack addict joke would have worked. I'm speaking as someone who is exceptionally
witty.

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

Wouldn't a better joke have been that you had thousands of books on bottoms etc? Then
the crack addict joke would have worked. I'm speaking as someone who is exceptionally
witty.

Well there's no way I am going to wipe out a lifetime of accumulated jokes, just to change the joke theme. Who would foot the bill?


TNBA

TTF

 

[AmexRuislip]

A Russian agent arrives at a small Welsh station and asks for Mr Jones. “Well,” says the stationmaster, “there’s Jones the Milk, Jones the Meat, Jones the Flowers, Jones the Undertaker. In fact, my name’s Jones.” The agent whispers to him, “The eagle doesn’t walk over the mountain.”



























“Ah,” says the stationmaster, “you want Jones the Spy.”

 

[Questions]

I love crispy duck.
I had a double portion last night on the way home.
Those two statements are connected btw

 

[Coldeanseagull]

A Russian agent arrives at a small Welsh station and asks for Mr Jones. “Well,” says the stationmaster, “there’s Jones the Milk, Jones the Meat, Jones the Flowers, Jones the Undertaker. In fact, my name’s Jones.” The agent whispers to him, “The eagle doesn’t walk over the mountain.”




























“Ah,” says the stationmaster, “you want Jones the Spy.”

Good one. Can't see what it says, as It's in white print on a white back ground....but I'm sure it's funny

Edit
Highlighted the text and was able to read it....whats the matter with you? there's no ducks involved

 

[AmexRuislip]

Good one. Can't see what it says, as It's in white print on a white back ground....but I'm sure it's funny

Edit
Highlighted the text and was able to read it....whats the matter with you? there's no ducks involved

I copied and pasted from a website for blind people

 

[essbee1]

I love crispy duck.
I had a double portion last night on the way home.
Those two statements are connected btw

How did you manage to crisp them up en route Questions?

 

[Questions]

How did you manage to crisp them up en route Questions?

I always carry a portable duck crisper on me.

 

[essbee1]

I always carry a portable duck crisper on me.

That's well-hard. Or should I say "Mallard".

 

[Questions]

That's well-hard. Or should I say "Mallard".

No pullet………. Gently of course.

 

[Insel affe]

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

2 years ago I joined a support group for procrastinators. We have yet to meet up.

 

[Is it PotG?]

Doesn't sound like much of a support group if you can't even be bothered to meet up after that period of time.
I'd bin the idea.

 

[Mr Bridger]

I organised a lecture on the issues surrounding erectile dysfunction but it was a flop, nobody came.

 

[Justice]

I organised a lecture on the issues surrounding erectile dysfunction but it was a flop, nobody came.

You should have tried harder