[Drinking] Joke due jour, if I may

[Pevenseagull]

I went for a massage today.

At the end of the session the masseuse asked if I'd like a happy finish for an extra £20.

I agreed and Mika Haekinen walked in and enthused about the changes to his carburetor.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Did he finnish the job in hand!

 

[Gazwag]

Wouldn't that be a happy Finn, maybe if it were a Jamaican masseuse .......

 

[driller]

Why would you want a happy Finnish anyway ?

Are you missing something in your sad pitiful life?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I've thought about this, and I don't think that company is going to last. Given that Mika almost certainly charges thousands for a public appearance, recouping just £20 of that a time, isn't going to be viable.

They'd be better off selling quick hand-jobs, to be honest.

 

[schmunk]

Wouldn't that be a happy Finn, maybe if it were a Jamaican masseuse .......

"My girlfriend is a sex worker in the Caribbean"

"Jamaica?"

"Yes, I'm her pimp."

 

[Pevenseagull]

"My girlfriend is a sex worker in the Caribbean"

"Jamaica?"

"Yes, I'm her pimp."

That is MAGNIFICENT

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

Don’t let the grammar police see that. It’s Joke du jour n’est pas?

 

[A mex eyecan]

Don’t let the grammar police see that. It’s Joke du jour n’est pas?

non

 

[Pevenseagull]

non

Wee

 

[Jack Straw]

How much was just the massage? If it's under £10, can you send me a PM and give me the details of where this place is?

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

non

Tant pis��

 

[schmunk]

Tant pis��

That costs extra.

 

[Acker79]

Jump to 1:03

https://youtu.be/hP-u6XWclKQ?t=63

 

[FatSuperman]

That is MAGNIFICENT

The original is;

“I’m talking my wife on holiday to the Caribbean”
“Jamaica?”
“Nope, she’s coming of her own accord”

 

[Wellesley]

I just had a phone call from somebody trying to sell me a burial plot. I thought to myself, "That's the last thing I need"

 

[schmunk]

The original is;

“I’m talking my wife on holiday to the Caribbean”
“Jamaica?”
“Nope, she’s coming of her own accord”

...as told to God by his grandad.

 

[smillie's garden]

I Hyypia don't think that's funny

 

[Hungry Joe]

I just had a phone call from somebody trying to sell me a burial plot. I thought to myself, "That's the last thing I need"

Have you seen those glass coffins? Will they catch on I wonder? Remains to be seen.

 

[The Wookiee]

The original is;

“I’m talking my wife on holiday to the Caribbean”
“Jamaica?”
“Nope, she’s coming of her own accord”

“I’m taking my wife on holiday to a resort in western India”

“Goa?”

“ God blimey yes, she’s a right nympho !”