Joke Du Jour

[ManOnTheRun]

A fellow walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

Cheese Sandwich 1.50

Chicken Sandwich 2.50

Hand Job 10.00

Checking his wallet he finds one single tenner, he walks up to the Bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am"

The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich."

 

[Trufflehound]

Is it last Wednesday again already?

 

[SJ's Love Monkey]

Is it last Wednesday again already?

I now know i have been here before!!

 

[ManOnTheRun]

 

[Moshe Gariani]

no need for embarrassment... provided you've got a valid ticket showing it was your turn to tell "hand job"...

 

[Man of Harveys]

It was pies before - what foodstuff will it be next week?

 

[Lokki 7]

It was pies before - what foodstuff will it be next week?

I thought it was funnier with pies, perhaps we could move back to a more pastry dominated food stuff next week?

 

[aftershavedave]

well they say that variety is the spice of life....in the 25 yaers or so that i've known that joke it's always been cheese sandwiches so pies gives it a modern edge. a kind of "changing rooms" approach to old jokes if you will.

 

[Lokki 7]

pies gives it a modern edge. a kind of "changing rooms" approach to old jokes if you will.

I didn't realise that a pie gave a room a modern edge. My flat must be very "this year" in that case.

 

[dougdeep]

Who's turn is it to do the Crocodile Sandwich joke?

 

[Man of Harveys]

So: whose turn is it to tell it next Wednesday? Any volunteers? We've all got to tell it once, so you may as well get it out of the way. Maybe suggest a foodstuff and we'll have a ballot.

 

[Moshe Gariani]

i propose

Pork Pie £1.20
Bacon Sandwich £1.80
Hand Job £10

 

[Lokki 7]

i propose

Pork Pie £1.20
Bacon Sandwich £1.80
Hand Job £10

I like. Traditional but with a modern twist.

 

[Trufflehound]

How much for a cheddar ploughmans?

 

[Man of Harveys]

How much for a cheddar ploughmans?

£1.50. But you need TWO foods.

I will be running on a manifesto of:

£1.50 Fish cakes
£2.50 Ham rolls
£10 Handjob

 

[Moshe Gariani]

£1.50. But you need TWO foods.

I will be running on a manifesto of:

£1.50 Fish cakes
£2.50 Ham rolls
£10 Handjob

i support your choice of ham rolls as i think the joke relies on a hands-on aspect to the requested dish's production...

are they a bit pricey though...?

 

[Man of Harveys]

i support your choice of ham rolls as i think the joke relies on a hands-on aspect to the requested dish's production...

are they a bit pricey though...?

It's PARMA ham.

 

[Lokki 7]

It's PARMA ham.

 

[Moshe Gariani]

 

[Trufflehound]

£1.50. But you need TWO foods.

I will be running on a manifesto of:

£1.50 Fish cakes
£2.50 Ham rolls
£10 Handjob

OK, but I like to offer a range of services.

Cheddar ploughmans £1.50
Chicken tikka sandwich £2.25
"Bareback" Handjob £10
Rubber glove Handjob 45p
Silk glove Handjob You couldn't afford it