[Humour] Joke du jour

[Simster]

I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks. He just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley around Tesco.

 

[CheeseRolls]

Seems unluckly. This should have been enough to stop anyone in their tracks. You are famous for talking bollocks.

 

[smillie's garden]

You should have done what I do: get a pot of plain yogurt for cooling and soothing. Most supermarkets carry a selection of receptacles, so it shouldn’t be a problem finding the appropriate size. No need for a doctor at all!

 

[Is it PotG?]

Online shopping is your answer, especially when suffering from itchy ailments it means you can buy from the comfort of your sofa.

 

[hart's shirt]

In light of the the Government accepting the DDRB's recommendation to uplift the salaried GP pay range by 6% for this financial year, I'd have thought that he'd have had the decency to at least make conversation with you outside of his normal practice.

Every little helps.

 

[Eric the meek]

Online shopping is your answer, especially when suffering from itchy ailments it means you can buy from the comfort of your sofa.

What if your sofa isn't comfortable, due to the rash on your bollocks? What if it was the sofa that caused the rash in the first place?

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

Depending on how bad the rash is, a chemist might be able to help you find a suitable unguent.

 

[Insel affe]

I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks. He just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley around Tesco.

I don't believe you liar....

Everyone knows you don't have any bollox

 

[Bald Head]

You should have done what I do: get a pot of plain yogurt for cooling and soothing. Most supermarkets carry a selection of receptacles, so it shouldn’t be a problem finding the appropriate size. No need for a doctor at all!

Ah yes, receptacles for the testicles, iv'e always found the wife's cupping most soothing.

 

[essbee1]

I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks. He just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley around Tesco.

Rash bollocks sums up your gag Simmie boy.

 

[bhafc99]

I call bullshit. GPs don’t shop in Tesco. If you’d said Waitrose, M&S Foodhall… I might have believed you.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

In light of the the Government accepting the DDRB's recommendation to uplift the salaried GP pay range by 6% for this financial year, I'd have thought that he'd have had the decency to at least make conversation with you outside of his normal practice.

Every little helps.

I personally refuse to believe that newly affluent General Practitioners in leafy Surrey towns, go anywhere near Tesco, to be honest.

Had @Simster admitted this took place in Waitrose, or an M&S food hall, it might have been less transparently made up.

 

[studio150]

I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks. He just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley around Tesco.

I see, not bothering with the upside down pineapple, and just getting your bollocks out.

 

[horshamite]

Seems unluckly. This should have been enough to stop anyone in their tracks. You are famous for talking bollocks.

He has got talking bollocks!? Should be in a circus, or an MP.

 

[jcdenton08]

My main concern is safeguarding. What if there were children present? Could easily have led to a very nasty conviction on your record. As it is, it’s indecent exposure. Should’ve just waited for an appointment, or visited a walk-in clinic or pharmacy.

 

[Gwylan]

I personally refuse to believe that newly affluent General Practitioners in leafy Surrey towns, go anywhere near Tesco, to be honest.

Had @Simster admitted this took place in Waitrose, or an M&S food hall, it might have been less transparently made up.

Indeed, there's no Tesco in Reigate. I think our Simster's being economical with the truth

(in real life, I once worked for a supermarket chain as a number cruncher and researched a whole load of supermarkets in leafy Surrey)

 

[el punal]

Ah yes, receptacles for the testicles, iv'e always found the wife's cupping most soothing.

My wife has enormous hands which helps I suppose.

 

[METALMICKY]

My wife has enormous hands which helps I suppose.

Swings and roundabouts? Makes your old fella look smaller?

 

[The Rattler]

My wife has enormous hands which helps I suppose.

Mine has enormous feet. Which is no help at all really.

 

[el punal]

Swings and roundabouts? Makes your old fella look smaller?

Do you know, you can be so cruel sometimes.