[Humour] Joke Du Jour

[hart's shirt]

Haven’t the Police got better things to do?

..do do, de da da da?

 

[Icy Gull]

..do do, de da da da?

Sue Lawley

 

[papajaff]

I'm a midget and went to the doctor recently and asked if he could do anything for me.

He said I'd have to learn to be a little patient.

 

[Bodian]

I’ve been getting shit all day from my mates for throwing dinosaur puns into every conversation last night.

Honestly, I was so pissed I don’t remember any of it, but I’ve heard it from so many different people I suppose I Mastodon.

"Not everything big and dead is a dinosaur. All too often, books written (or movies made) for a popular audience include animals such as mammoths, mastodons, pterosaurs, plesiosaurs, ichthyosaurs, and the sail-backed Dimetrodon. Dinosaurs are a specific subgroup of the archosaurs, a group that also includes crocodiles, pterosaurs, and birds. although pterosaurs are close relations, they are not true dinosaurs. Even more distantly related to dinosaurs are the marine reptiles, which include the plesiosaurs and ichthyosaurs. Mammoths and mastodons are mammals and did not appear until many millions of years after the close of the Cretaceous period. Dimetrodon is neither a reptile nor a mammal, but a basal synapsid, i.e., an early relative of the ancestors of mammals."https://ucmp.berkeley.edu/diapsids/dinosaur.html#:~:text=although%20pterosaurs%20are%20close%20relations,close%20of%20the%20Cretaceous%20period.

 

[Poojah]

"Not everything big and dead is a dinosaur. All too often, books written (or movies made) for a popular audience include animals such as mammoths, mastodons, pterosaurs, plesiosaurs, ichthyosaurs, and the sail-backed Dimetrodon. Dinosaurs are a specific subgroup of the archosaurs, a group that also includes crocodiles, pterosaurs, and birds. although pterosaurs are close relations, they are not true dinosaurs. Even more distantly related to dinosaurs are the marine reptiles, which include the plesiosaurs and ichthyosaurs. Mammoths and mastodons are mammals and did not appear until many millions of years after the close of the Cretaceous period. Dimetrodon is neither a reptile nor a mammal, but a basal synapsid, i.e., an early relative of the ancestors of mammals."https://ucmp.berkeley.edu/diapsids/dinosaur.html#:~:text=although%20pterosaurs%20are%20close%20relations,close%20of%20the%20Cretaceous%20period.

You see, this is why I love NSC. Every day is a school day.

 

[BadFish]

"Not everything big and dead is a dinosaur. All too often, books written (or movies made) for a popular audience include animals such as mammoths, mastodons, pterosaurs, plesiosaurs, ichthyosaurs, and the sail-backed Dimetrodon. Dinosaurs are a specific subgroup of the archosaurs, a group that also includes crocodiles, pterosaurs, and birds. although pterosaurs are close relations, they are not true dinosaurs. Even more distantly related to dinosaurs are the marine reptiles, which include the plesiosaurs and ichthyosaurs. Mammoths and mastodons are mammals and did not appear until many millions of years after the close of the Cretaceous period. Dimetrodon is neither a reptile nor a mammal, but a basal synapsid, i.e., an early relative of the ancestors of mammals."https://ucmp.berkeley.edu/diapsids/dinosaur.html#:~:text=although%20pterosaurs%20are%20close%20relations,close%20of%20the%20Cretaceous%20period.

Next you'll be telling us that chimpanzees are not monkeys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTKdYIs_7gQ

 

[B-right-on]

Next you'll be telling us that chimpanzees are not monkeys.

Hey. Hey. We are the monkeys.

 

[erkan]

My wife asked me which is my favourite song by The Jam?

I said I find it hard to choose between Eton Rifles and That's Entertainment.

 

[Is it PotG?]

My wife asked me which is my favourite song by The Jam?

I said I find it hard to choose between Eton Rifles and That's Entertainment.

Ghosts/When You're Young/Thick as Thieves.

 

[Pavilionaire]

I'd forgot that last night I had a drunken w*nk over Celine Dion.

It's all coming back to me now.