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[Humour] Joke du Jour







Albion my Albion

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I was upset at the owner of a Chinese restaurant because I didn't like the taste of his egg rolls. At the end of our conversation I said I bet you don't even know how to spell "wonton" backwards. He yelled back at me "Not Now!!!"
 


Dorset Seagull

Once Dolphin, Now Seagull
Bloke went to the doctors because he couldnt stop farting. Doctor asked him to undress and bend over and then doctor got a long pole.

Bloke says “Youre not going to stick that up my arse are you?”

Doctor replies “No I’m going to open the window it stinks in here”
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
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Jul 21, 2003
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Playing snooker
I was upset at the owner of a Chinese restaurant because I didn't like the taste of his egg rolls. At the end of our conversation I said I bet you don't even know how to spell "wonton" backwards. He yelled back at me "Not Now!!!"

It sounds like he was probably busy. Perhaps make an appointment to discuss the matter with him at a mutually convenient time.
 


Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
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Apr 30, 2013
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Why did the Mexican push his wife over the cliff?

Because he wanted tequila!

This has received less reaction than it warrants imo. Made me titter anyway.

One question though: if she wouldn’t let him go the bar, surely it would have been less dramatic to simply divorce her?
 




bhafc99

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Oct 14, 2003
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Dubai
This has received less reaction than it warrants imo. Made me titter anyway.

I don’t think people appreciate jokes about death. It’s normally quite a sombrero occasion.
 








Albion my Albion

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Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
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"Not Now" backwards is.....................I don't like explaining jokes but you honestly didn't understand that my whole post was a joke in the Joke du Jour thread?

https://wgnradio.com/john-williams/...-a-round-of-speed-jokes-part-cccxvii-2-14-22/

Well in fairness you did ask him to spell it backwards, and being a very busy man he probably didn't have time to spell out "N-O-T-N-O-W". Hence his somewhat brusque response to your, if I may say so, slightly stupid question.
 




Bodian

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May 3, 2012
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bhafc99

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Oct 14, 2003
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Dubai
I genuinely can't work out whether this is taking the general 'gentle joke questioning / deflating' theme of the Joke de Jour threads to a new level or not!

Me neither. Is this a cleverly-contrived double bluff from Albion my Albion, or has he/she just completely missed the point of JDJ?
 


GREASED WEASEL

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Dec 10, 2017
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Breaking News

A dyslexic terrorist has barricaded himself inside London Zoo

Police have confirmed that he has taken six ostriches
 




Albion my Albion

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Well in fairness you did ask him to spell it backwards, and being a very busy man he probably didn't have time to spell out "N-O-T-N-O-W". Hence his somewhat brusque response to your, if I may say so, slightly stupid question.

Not "it" but "wonton." Now I've given ti.
 
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Albion my Albion

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Me neither. Is this a cleverly-contrived double bluff from Albion my Albion, or has he/she just completely missed the point of JDJ?

I wanted to call my nearly born daughter something unual but my wife was totally against it. So I called her Bluff.

When the doctor said it was twins I called her Double Bluff.
 




Albion my Albion

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My wife said "can't" at 8:57 and then she said "haven't" at 9:01 so I rushed her to the hospital.

Why did you do that?

Because her contractions were 4 minutes apart.
 




Albion my Albion

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Why did the chicken go to the playground?

To get to the other slide.



Why did the horse cross the road?

Why?

I don't know. He left before I could ask a questrian.
 


Albion my Albion

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Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry,




and want to stay that way
 


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