Joke du jour

[Hyperion]

Exactly how does this work then. Is there a league and cup competiton? Also, once 22 ex footballers die, does 'God' cause the death of a referee and two assistants? Also, does God act as the FA and punish any simulation or racist abuse and finally, do we the supporters get to watch this football, and if so, do we all watch the best teams or do we get allocated watching a couple of old duffers playing Sunday league football, ie Nil flair!

OBVIOUSLY it's on Sky. ....AND it's LIVE! (apart from the players and officials)

 

[super-seagulls]

It says he's in the team on Saturday, not that he dies on Saturday. Therefore I think the joke (quite clearly) implies that Mike dies before Saturday (lets say Thursday) to give him time to register in the squad and be eligible for the game on Saturday. As for your second question, you could ask it the other way; how do the team know he's (Mike) any good anyway? Are the going on what Joe told them. Is a friends word a good enough trial for a fixture of this importance?

But Joe only died a couple of nights before, how did he get so influencial in such a short time?
Mike and Joe must've been brilliant when they were alive, or they were terrible when alive and only in the afterlife they became amazing? Is George best just a fan in the North Stand?

 

[Stat Brother]

But Joe only died a couple of nights before, how did he get so influencial in such a short time?
Mike and Joe must've been brilliant when they were alive, or they were terrible when alive and only in the afterlife they became amazing? Is George best just a fan in the North Stand?

George Best is probably in the bar, with Mother Teresa.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

If he can JUST STROLL into the side, what on EARTH is this going to do for the confidence of the guy being subsequently dropped?

It's meant to be HEAVEN. How is that JOYOUS? He's probably planned his whole saturday around that game and he finds out he's dropped LAST MINUTE?

 

[Questions]

Who is the manager of this side anyway. It can't be God...... He is managing us.

 

[GingerBeerMan]

Who is the manager of this side anyway. It can't be God...... He is managing us.

Wahheyyy! The funniest joke in this (supposedly) joke thread.

 

[Stat Brother]

If he can JUST STROLL into the side, what on EARTH is this going to do for the confidence of the guy being subsequently dropped?

It's meant to be HEAVEN. How is that JOYOUS? He's probably planned his whole saturday around that game and he finds out he's dropped LAST MINUTE?

You are assuming it's 11 a side.
It could Infinity Utd v Plus One City.

Playing the original football where the game pits neighbouring villages against each other.

 

[blue2]

Logically, the only way that someone from the Sunday leagues could be playing is if there are no more than 10 better footballers who made it to heaven. Given the number of professional footballers who have died this is a damning verdict on either their professions or their lifestyles. And given the time and effort we put in to following them, is a pretty harsh judgement on our lives as well.

Now I'm thoroughly depressed. Can't believe that people are allowed to post things like this.

This is a very good point with the professional leagues having run since the 1900 Lets say three divisions until 1940 then 4 divisions 30 teams per division 22 players per team with an average life expectancy of 50 years Quick fag packet Mathis I make that"".........lots of professional players ahead of Joe this story just does not stack up

 

[LE19]

I think most people have missed the point...

Maybe this is what the great Bill Shankly was talking about when he said: "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that".

More important than life and death can only refer to the AFTERLIFE! And this football story is the proof we've all been waiting for! God, and stuff.

Wow, some of those anti-God, anti-religion threads are gonna get bounced...

 

[Icy Gull]

This is a very good point with the professional leagues having run since the 1900 Lets say three divisions until 1940 then 4 divisions 30 teams per division 22 players per team with an average life expectancy of 50 years Quick fag packet Mathis I make that"".........lots of professional players ahead of Joe this story just does not stack up

At no stage has it been said that he is playing for a top team, there are likely to be more than 8 million leagues in heaven and room for millions more. Everyone who wants a game will get a game I reckon, even the poor sod in the joke.

 

[Questions]

At no stage has it been said that he is playing for a top team, there are likely to be more than 8 million leagues in heaven and room for millions more

And we thought our catchment area was good.

 

[jgmcdee]

At no stage has it been said that he is playing for a top team, there are likely to be more than 8 million leagues in heaven and room for millions more. Everyone who wants a game will get a game I reckon, even the poor sod in the joke.

Great so not only is the guy going to die, he's going to play in league 7,999,999 and with perpetual spring never going to manage to finish a season and get promoted.

This heaven thing sounds shit.

 

[essbee]

Are the refs as sh*t in heaven as they are down here d'y reckon?

 

[drew]

OBVIOUSLY it's on Sky. ....AND it's LIVE! (apart from the players and officials)

Will I still be allowed to watch the best games even though, in my mortal incarnation, I don't subscribe?

 

[super-seagulls]

Will I still be allowed to watch the best games even though, in my mortal incarnation, I don't subscribe?

Only Via streaming, You sit in a small boat and float down a little lake which passes the game you wish to watch. Now, some boats are free and some require subscription, some are real and some are fake. But when God finds one he stops it and you must find another boat!

 

[Mutts Nuts]

So, in all these years of people looking for proof of heaven, some no mark old geezer is allowed to provide proof to the living because of a football game? That doesn't sound very realistic. Surely proof of heaven would be saved for something more important.

And since when has "it's me" been good enough proof of id?

Not in the slightest bit funny

 

[Acker79]

Not in the slightest bit funny

 

[drew]

Jesus, even in death Murdoch can ruin your day!!!!!

 

[Bry Nylon]

Exactly how does this work then. Is there a league and cup competiton?

Well, obviously yes.

In the event of a tie, the league is settled on ghoul difference whilst the Cup is decided on sudden death.

 

[cjd]

I think everyone has missed the point. The team obviously is struggling and need 'Mike' in their team asap.

However, it would be morally and ethically wrong to make people on earth die just for the teams selfish needs and therefore are not in Heaven at all.

They are taking you to Hell Mike, not Heaven....refuse to die.