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Joke Du Jour



narly101

Well-known member
Feb 16, 2009
2,683
London
What do you say to a constipated cat?

Have a break.......have a shit, cat!
 




Manx Shearwater

New member
Jun 28, 2011
1,206
Brighton
Surely you'd consult a vet to see if the problem is diet related?
 


SeagullSongs

And it's all gone quiet..
Oct 10, 2011
6,937
Southampton




The Large One

Who's Next?
Jul 7, 2003
52,343
97.2FM
Would the cat understand English?

Even if it did, you'd have to make sure that the cat is standing in the litter tray in order for it to immediately comply with your order.

I'm sure some chemical, or even natural remedy, and maybe some TLC might be wise before you start barking orders at it.
 




Benjyman1990

Registered Boon.
Jul 31, 2011
316
North Stand & Worthing
How would you know if its even constipated in the first place? It could just be shitting outside!
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,771
Chandlers Ford
A break from what exactly? A break from sleeping on the sofa? A break from licking its own balls?
 






essbee

New member
Jan 5, 2005
3,656
"Taxi for Mr Narly".

Can the standard of jokes get any lower? I can't see it happening.
 








ConfusedGloryHunter

He/him/his/that muppet
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2011
2,420
Nothing. It is a cat. Cats don't understand English.

I'd suggest a slightly more proactive course would be to take the poor feline to a veterinary surgery for professional help. Of course if you can already diagnose constipation for your cat this would suggest you possess the requisite veterinary skills yourself. Therefore I am extremely concerned that you are counselling this bizarre aural remedy to the general public. Are you currently practicing? If so I demand to know the premises from which you are dispensing this nonsense so that the relevant authorities may be informed.
 


gripper stebson

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2004
6,691
Reminds me of one of my own finest moments!

I used to work at ESCC in the Printroom and there was a chap their called Patrick. He yawned one morning so I quipped, "Have a break, have a kip Pat".

Sadly there was no one else present to hear it... until now!
 


element

Fear [is] the key.....
Jan 28, 2009
1,887
Local
Nothing. It is a cat. Cats don't understand English.

I'd suggest a slightly more proactive course would be to take the poor feline to a veterinary surgery for professional help. Of course if you can already diagnose constipation for your cat this would suggest you possess the requisite veterinary skills yourself. Therefore I am extremely concerned that you are counselling this bizarre aural remedy to the general public. Are you currently practicing? If so I demand to know the premises from which you are dispensing this nonsense so that the relevant authorities may be informed.

I think he just took a stab in the dark tbf :lolol:

images
 








brakespear

Doctor Worm
Feb 24, 2009
12,326
Sleeping on the roof
A lot of cats have an intolerance to lactose so it may be this that is causing the problem - try switching to special cat milk and see if it resolves the situation.
 






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