Joke d'hier

[jakarta]

A dogged attempt but the premise was frankly barking...

 

[Garage_Doors]

I went to the zoo and was met by a load of commotion and screaming and shouting coming toward me, i grab one guy and asked what was going on and was told that a lion had escapes from his cage, which way did he go i asked? were not F***ing chasing it he said !

 

[Prince Monolulu]

My brother and I inherited some furniture from the local zoo. I'm glad to say I got the lion's chair.

 

[SouthCoastOwl]

Hang on. You are South Coast OWL, you went into the zoo but you're saying the dog was the only animal in the zoo. Aren't owls animals? I'm confused.

Got you sussed, you're trying to get me to say "I'm a bird" and then you fall about laughing at my expensive. You must think I'm a massive fool

 

[essbee]

My brother and I inherited some furniture from the local zoo. I'm glad to say I got the lion's chair.

Quality Princee Boy.

 

[LlcoolJ]

How does it smell?

 

[Brok]

...

 

[Nixonator]

I had to think about this 'joke' for a second before I realised that it only works if you mispronounce shih tzu as 'shit zoo' rather than using the correct pronunciation.

I'm no dog lover but isn't that the way it's pronounced?

If not then there's a few jokes gone awry.

 

[Birdie Boy]

My brother and I inherited some furniture from the local zoo. I'm glad to say I got the lion's chair.

Sent from my XT1072 using Tapatalk

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I went to the zoo yesterday, there was only one animal in the whole zoo and that was a dog!

It was a shih tzu.

Was it POTG?

 

[LlcoolJ]

I poured my cat out some milk the other day. God knows how it got in there.

 

[dazzer6666]

Got you sussed, you're trying to get me to say "I'm a bird" and then you fall about laughing at my expensive. You must think I'm a massive fool

Laughing at your expensive what ? Education ? [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[supaseagull]

I went to the zoo yesterday, there was only one animal in the whole zoo and that was a dog!

It was a shih tzu.

You've been spending too much time in Paris mate


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Dorset Seagull]

Customer: cod and chips please
Chippy: we've sold out of cod
Customer: ok I'll have a pie, chips and a bit of cod
Chippy: I told you we don't have any cod
Customer: oh ok I'll just have a sausage, peas and some cod please
Chippy: I keep telling you we don't have any C-O-F-D cod
Customer: There's no F in cod
Chippy: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!!

 

[Brovion]

I'm no dog lover but isn't that the way it's pronounced?

If not then there's a few jokes gone awry.

Apparently it's pronounced 'sheed tzeeooo'. (Hard writing it!) But yeah, I pronounce it 'shit zoo' myself, but in the NSC spirit of deconstructing the Joke de Jour threads I went all pretentious.

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

Though this was funny-heard it on the radio the other day-it's like any joke all in the delivery and the person delivering did it to perfection-

A mate of mine is addicted to brake fluid,it's no problem though as he said he can stop at any time.

**courtesy of "Jack the lad"-Heart FM.......

 

[Insel affe]

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.

When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?

 

[Mackenzie]

I went to a zoo once.

 

[Questions]

Got you sussed, you're trying to get me to say "I'm a bird" and then you fall about laughing at my expensive. You must think I'm a massive fool

He would hoot with laughter if you said that.

 

[Questions]

I'v just paid £1.99 for a roll of Velcro. I thought that was a good price don't you ?