[Misc] Joke de Jour

[Eeyore]

An Eeyore original..

The Bee Gees were once painting a house. But Barry had a bit of a headache as a result.

He was asked if he felt it was down to the oil based primer. 'No' he said 'It's just emulsion that's taking me over'

 

[Questions]

I started a joke….. but couldn’t think of a punchline.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

But don’t most decorators mist coat walls and ceilings first so that they are effectively pre primed and why would a millionaire pop star paint his own house when he could pay someone to d it for him? I’m not convinced on this.

 

[Is it PotG?]

It's common knowledge that a well ventilated area is vital, in addition to a facial covering if there is a risk of fumes causing issues.

It goes to show that tonnes of cash doesn't necessarily bring best advice.

 

[Change at Barnham]

I was at my doctor's yesterday. He said, "Don't eat anything fatty."

I replied, "You mean like bacon or sausage?" He answered, "No fatty. Don't eat anything!"

 

[Is it PotG?]

I was at my doctor's yesterday. He said, "Don't eat anything fatty."

I replied, "You mean like bacon or sausage?" He answered, "No fatty. Don't eat anything!"

State of the NHS, GPs insulting patients.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

If you want to paint a house on the cheap, then Japan would be the best op group to do it as they have access to second hand emulsion.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I started a joke….. but couldn’t think of a punchline.

Whenever the idea of a punch line comes up I think of this

 

[Normal Rob]

Given their level of success and the money that came with it then sorry but I fail to believe that The Bee Gees would have the need to turn to painting and decoration as a side hussle. Sorry it just doesn't add up.

 

[Bry Nylon]

An Eeyore original..

The Bee Gees were once painting a house. But Barry had a bit of a headache as a result.

He was asked if he felt it was down to the oil based primer. 'No' he said 'It's just emulsion that's taking me over'

Ha! Fancy that - Barry’s comment sounds almost exactly like a line from one of the Bee Gee’s hit records!

I bet they had a good laugh about that, once they’d realised! (After they’d checked he was ok and it was simply a headache and nothing more sinister, obvs).

 

[Albion my Albion]

6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down.

 

[Albion my Albion]

We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.

 

[Albion my Albion]

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus but geometry is where I draw the line.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I just paid £100 for a belt that doesn’t fit — what a huge waist!

 

[Albion my Albion]

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list, and now I can't read what else is on it.

 

[Albion my Albion]

After dinner My wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

 

[Albion my Albion]

My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I lost 25% of my roof last night...oof.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.




Think hard. You'll get it.


hint: just-ice