[Misc] It doesn’t really matter, does it?

[AmexRuislip]

I have been quite vocal on the Election thread and chucked my two pence worth into the Brexit thread, over the last couple of days, but ultimately what does it all matter...

I have taken my wife to hospital today, as she is suffering from the early stages of lymphoma. We were both shocked when they insisted she stay in, at least until the middle of next week, for tests, etc.

After leaving my wife (and me) in tears, I have come home to my little boy, who thanks to family, has been well looked after - once he was settled in bed and after several text messages to my wife I thought I could have 10 minutes to myself - then the phone rings... it’s my sister, who NEVER rings me (we message or talk in person).

My mum, who has been suffering from the early onset of dementia for a while has been hospitalised. Worse, she has stopped breathing. They have managed to resuscitate, but don’t think they should if she has another event...

Shit, life hangs by a thread and all people can do is moan about politics (guilty)... life and family are so so much more important then all this other shit. Live your lives, have your own opinions, but just remember - it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Sorry to hear of your news.
Family and friends are very important.




Politics are just next days chip paper.....

 

[Hastings gull]

Thanks for all the support, much appreciated. Mum has got through the night without any further events, so that is a positive.

My wife has messaged me too, she is very tearful and very scared. Scared for the future and scared of the treatment. Her first question on being told about the chemo was “will I lose my hair” - strange, as a man it doesn’t seem that important, but to a lady it’s a defining part of their psyche.

The hospital are very good and have even mentioned they have a wig clinic on Wednesdays. If the wife doesn’t get one I might see if I can get a Ted Danson!

life can indeed be rough at times, but do try to keep going, and let's all hope for the best outcome.

 

[darkwolf666]

My brother and sister have been making enquiries into a care home for my Mum, in Burgess Hill, so Dad can get to see her daily.

They have been quoted £1250 to £1500 per week!!!! That’s £5400 to £6500 per month - how do they justify that cost? I am sure it would be cheaper to rent a house and a private nurse then pay that... now what idiot said recently there is no elderly care crisis!

 

[studio150]

Never a good time to experience these events, and even worse at the this time of year as it is very much a family event.

Hopefully you can still enjoy your Christmas.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I have been quite vocal on the Election thread and chucked my two pence worth into the Brexit thread, over the last couple of days, but ultimately what does it all matter...

I have taken my wife to hospital today, as she is suffering from the early stages of lymphoma. We were both shocked when they insisted she stay in, at least until the middle of next week, for tests, etc.

After leaving my wife (and me) in tears, I have come home to my little boy, who thanks to family, has been well looked after - once he was settled in bed and after several text messages to my wife I thought I could have 10 minutes to myself - then the phone rings... it’s my sister, who NEVER rings me (we message or talk in person).

My mum, who has been suffering from the early onset of dementia for a while has been hospitalised. Worse, she has stopped breathing. They have managed to resuscitate, but don’t think they should if she has another event...

Shit, life hangs by a thread and all people can do is moan about politics (guilty)... life and family are so so much more important then all this other shit. Live your lives, have your own opinions, but just remember - it doesn’t really matter, does it?

You're absolutely right mate. It doesn't really matter at all. Though if it helps keep you sane in terribly worrying times, then maybe it's not a complete waste of time. Hopefully of some comfort to you that there are very many complete strangers on the internet with nothing more than a shared love of the Albion wishing you and your family nothing but well and rooting for a happy outcome.

On a more personal note, I spent much of my teenage years in your neck of the woods, in Lower Halstow. My niece still lives round that way. She's got twin little boys, four years old. They've both got acute childhood leukemia bless 'em. They get absolutely superb care from the dedicated doctors and nurses at Medway Maritime hospital, and get home visits from some lovely people from Demelza House hospice. The Medway was also always there for my mum during the last few years of her life when she suffered from more and more frequent falls and confusion. It might be of some comfort to know that the level of care on your doorstep is nothing short of amazing.

Wishing you and your family all the very best for a happy outcome. Cheers.

 

[Weststander]

[MENTION=33649]darkwolf666[/MENTION] very sorry to hear that. Early days, but I sincerely hope that your wife beats the illness.

In a not dissimilar position myself exactly a year ago, I found an organisation/website (for a different form of C), run by knowledgeable and amazing people. Giving support and taking away much of the fear.

A reminder to all about perspective and the important things in the real (not virtual) world.

 

[midnight_rendezvous]

I have been quite vocal on the Election thread and chucked my two pence worth into the Brexit thread, over the last couple of days, but ultimately what does it all matter...

I have taken my wife to hospital today, as she is suffering from the early stages of lymphoma. We were both shocked when they insisted she stay in, at least until the middle of next week, for tests, etc.

After leaving my wife (and me) in tears, I have come home to my little boy, who thanks to family, has been well looked after - once he was settled in bed and after several text messages to my wife I thought I could have 10 minutes to myself - then the phone rings... it’s my sister, who NEVER rings me (we message or talk in person).

My mum, who has been suffering from the early onset of dementia for a while has been hospitalised. Worse, she has stopped breathing. They have managed to resuscitate, but don’t think they should if she has another event...

Shit, life hangs by a thread and all people can do is moan about politics (guilty)... life and family are so so much more important then all this other shit. Live your lives, have your own opinions, but just remember - it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Whilst I empathise and you have my most heart felt sympathy, try telling the families of the many people who died due to austerity measures, the homeless and those living in poverty that politics doesn’t matter. I imagine it matters to them very much.

 

[LadySeagull]

My brother and sister have been making enquiries into a care home for my Mum, in Burgess Hill, so Dad can get to see her daily.

They have been quoted £1250 to £1500 per week!!!! That’s £5400 to £6500 per month - how do they justify that cost? I am sure it would be cheaper to rent a house and a private nurse then pay that... now what idiot said recently there is no elderly care crisis!

Off topic briefly but this might help you and others:

If she qualifies for 'care' of some description, she might be exempt or pay reduced sums. I have a friend who advises people for a living, on this area of statutory provision and it's complex, but:

Ring NHS Continuing Health Care (CHC) to ask for an urgent assessment. If she has less than £23,250 in savings (not sure what sum applies to a couple) there is a 12 week 'disregard' where if possibly eligible, she pays nothing for the first 3 months to see if she wants to stay there. Your family can Google for the nearest CHC Team, or ask a health care professional or a social worker if she has one. Once assessed, some people don't have to pay anything for their care.

Sorry to hear about these struggles and about what the OP is going through; sending you my best wishes.

All these life experiences put things into perspective. Sometimes life is too short to worry about crap. I'd lost my brother, sister and parents before I was 50 and had some really traumatic times, so wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments in this thread and wish the OP and those who have posted here, a happy family & friends time as best you all can achieve.

x

 

[Icy Gull]

Off topic briefly but this might help you and others:

If she qualifies for 'care' of some description, she might be exempt or pay reduced sums. I have a friend who advises people for a living, on this area of statutory provision and it's complex, but:

Ring NHS Continuing Health Care (CHC) to ask for an urgent assessment. If she has less than £23,250 in savings (not sure what sum applies to a couple) there is a 12 week 'disregard' where if possibly eligible, she pays nothing for the first 3 months to see if she wants to stay there. Your family can Google for the nearest CHC Team, or ask a health care professional or a social worker if she has one. Once assessed, some people don't have to pay anything for their care.

Sorry to hear about these struggles and about what the OP is going through; sending you my best wishes.

All these life experiences put things into perspective. Sometimes life is too short to worry about crap. I'd lost my brother, sister and parents before I was 50 and had some really traumatic times, so wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments in this thread and wish the OP and those who have posted here, a happy family & friends time as best you all can achieve.

x

Yes that worked for my Mum and she ended up in a really nice Care Home in Worthing. I think she just had to pay her pension of £1100 a month once the figures were calculated.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Off topic briefly but this might help you and others:

If she qualifies for 'care' of some description, she might be exempt or pay reduced sums. I have a friend who advises people for a living, on this area of statutory provision and it's complex, but:

Ring NHS Continuing Health Care (CHC) to ask for an urgent assessment. If she has less than £23,250 in savings (not sure what sum applies to a couple) there is a 12 week 'disregard' where if possibly eligible, she pays nothing for the first 3 months to see if she wants to stay there. Your family can Google for the nearest CHC Team, or ask a health care professional or a social worker if she has one. Once assessed, some people don't have to pay anything for their care.



x

Yes, my Mum had to sell her house to pay, but she does have attendance allowance, state pension and an NHS pension which goes to the home, before it comes out of the proceeds of the house. She recently had to relocate from a care home to a nursing home, but my half brother dealt with all that. The savings limit you mentioned is correct.

 

[darkwolf666]

You're absolutely right mate. It doesn't really matter at all. Though if it helps keep you sane in terribly worrying times, then maybe it's not a complete waste of time. Hopefully of some comfort to you that there are very many complete strangers on the internet with nothing more than a shared love of the Albion wishing you and your family nothing but well and rooting for a happy outcome.

On a more personal note, I spent much of my teenage years in your neck of the woods, in Lower Halstow. My niece still lives round that way. She's got twin little boys, four years old. They've both got acute childhood leukemia bless 'em. They get absolutely superb care from the dedicated doctors and nurses at Medway Maritime hospital, and get home visits from some lovely people from Demelza House hospice. The Medway was also always there for my mum during the last few years of her life when she suffered from more and more frequent falls and confusion. It might be of some comfort to know that the level of care on your doorstep is nothing short of amazing.

Wishing you and your family all the very best for a happy outcome. Cheers.

Thanks very much for your supportive post. It’s another one of those strange things in life, bit like service at a restaurant, where everyone’s experience is different. We had a horrendous experience with Medway Maritime. Demelza on the other hand are brilliant - I quite happily support their fundraising locally.

 

[Lever]

Sincere thanks for sharing your extremely sad experience. No words of reassurance can provide any lasting consolation but I wish you all the best in your efforts to deal with these tragedies. For what it is worth I think you have shown courage in setting down the experience on here and allowing us to reach out in our words of condolence. Stay strong.

 

[dazzer6666]

I have been quite vocal on the Election thread and chucked my two pence worth into the Brexit thread, over the last couple of days, but ultimately what does it all matter...

I have taken my wife to hospital today, as she is suffering from the early stages of lymphoma. We were both shocked when they insisted she stay in, at least until the middle of next week, for tests, etc.

After leaving my wife (and me) in tears, I have come home to my little boy, who thanks to family, has been well looked after - once he was settled in bed and after several text messages to my wife I thought I could have 10 minutes to myself - then the phone rings... it’s my sister, who NEVER rings me (we message or talk in person).

My mum, who has been suffering from the early onset of dementia for a while has been hospitalised. Worse, she has stopped breathing. They have managed to resuscitate, but don’t think they should if she has another event...

Shit, life hangs by a thread and all people can do is moan about politics (guilty)... life and family are so so much more important then all this other shit. Live your lives, have your own opinions, but just remember - it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Bloody hell fella, can’t really help but sending you all the best and hope things improve. I lost my younger sister (42) to cancer last year, and my dad died a couple of weeks ago. I was back at work on Thursday a couple of days after the funeral (and a the day after taking mum and my sister’s 10 year old daughter to my sisters grave to place dad’s flowers there) and getting very irritated with some work stuff.......it’s all unimportant in the great scheme of things. Worry about and concentrate on family, your health and loved ones - everything else is trivial really.

 

[darkwolf666]

Thanks to all for allowing me to share what’s going on in my life at the moment. There have been some amazing responses, NSC might attract a motley bunch of weirdos, but they are fantastic at pulling together when it counts.

My wife was visited by her doctor today, who has confirmed she has a High-grade non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. She has a right kidney that’s just about holding it’s own, as a tumour is squeezing the urethra and has been informed what she thought was a pulled muscle in her side is actually a blood clot, as she has a blood clot in her left kidney and one in her right leg, mention was also made of a clot in the lung too, but my brain had started making “ la la la” noises by that point.

They have said she will be subjected to a heavy dose of chemotherapy later this week, which will hopefully help the problem with the kidney, but she has to stay in as this could lead to a breakaway of the tumour, and they need to make sure it doesn’t go to the kidney and if it does she would be in the best place!

It tears me apart when I have to leave her, but equally our kids need me at home. Family have been great helping out, particularly with the 3 year old, as he is so dependent...

My wife has been given a day release tomorrow to allow us to take our little man to see Santa at Leeds Castle, a day out I am going to cherish!

Thanks once more to you all and for allowing me to vent here, it really really helps.

 

[Lever]

Thanks to all for allowing me to share what’s going on in my life at the moment. There have been some amazing responses, NSC might attract a motley bunch of weirdos, but they are fantastic at pulling together when it counts.

My wife was visited by her doctor today, who has confirmed she has a High-grade non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. She has a right kidney that’s just about holding it’s own, as a tumour is squeezing the urethra and has been informed what she thought was a pulled muscle in her side is actually a blood clot, as she has a blood clot in her left kidney and one in her right leg, mention was also made of a clot in the lung too, but my brain had started making “ la la la” noises by that point.

They have said she will be subjected to a heavy dose of chemotherapy later this week, which will hopefully help the problem with the kidney, but she has to stay in as this could lead to a breakaway of the tumour, and they need to make sure it doesn’t go to the kidney and if it does she would be in the best place!

It tears me apart when I have to leave her, but equally our kids need me at home. Family have been great helping out, particularly with the 3 year old, as he is so dependent...

My wife has been given a day release tomorrow to allow us to take our little man to see Santa at Leeds Castle, a day out I am going to cherish!

Thanks once more to you all and for allowing me to vent here, it really really helps.

Many thanks for your update; if good will and kind thoughts have any effect, I am sure you will have a fine time tomorrow. Warmest wishes to you all.

 

[Mackenzie]

What a nightmare, not much I can say apart from I hope your wife sails through her treatment and don't forget to look after yourself as well, she needs you fit and healthy.

Good luck mate.

 

[portslade seagull]

I have been quite vocal on the Election thread and chucked my two pence worth into the Brexit thread, over the last couple of days, but ultimately what does it all matter...

I have taken my wife to hospital today, as she is suffering from the early stages of lymphoma. We were both shocked when they insisted she stay in, at least until the middle of next week, for tests, etc.

After leaving my wife (and me) in tears, I have come home to my little boy, who thanks to family, has been well looked after - once he was settled in bed and after several text messages to my wife I thought I could have 10 minutes to myself - then the phone rings... it’s my sister, who NEVER rings me (we message or talk in person).

My mum, who has been suffering from the early onset of dementia for a while has been hospitalised. Worse, she has stopped breathing. They have managed to resuscitate, but don’t think they should if she has another event...

Shit, life hangs by a thread and all people can do is moan about politics (guilty)... life and family are so so much more important then all this other shit. Live your lives, have your own opinions, but just remember - it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Family before everything, wishing them well

 

[LamieRobertson]

Thanks to all for allowing me to share what’s going on in my life at the moment. There have been some amazing responses, NSC might attract a motley bunch of weirdos, but they are fantastic at pulling together when it counts.

My wife was visited by her doctor today, who has confirmed she has a High-grade non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. She has a right kidney that’s just about holding it’s own, as a tumour is squeezing the urethra and has been informed what she thought was a pulled muscle in her side is actually a blood clot, as she has a blood clot in her left kidney and one in her right leg, mention was also made of a clot in the lung too, but my brain had started making “ la la la” noises by that point.

They have said she will be subjected to a heavy dose of chemotherapy later this week, which will hopefully help the problem with the kidney, but she has to stay in as this could lead to a breakaway of the tumour, and they need to make sure it doesn’t go to the kidney and if it does she would be in the best place!

It tears me apart when I have to leave her, but equally our kids need me at home. Family have been great helping out, particularly with the 3 year old, as he is so dependent...

My wife has been given a day release tomorrow to allow us to take our little man to see Santa at Leeds Castle, a day out I am going to cherish!

Thanks once more to you all and for allowing me to vent here, it really really helps.

Lovely....one day at a time and all that ....hope is your friend

 

[jimhigham]

Politics does matter in as much as we want to ensure the state is able to step in and help when life takes a really nasty turn. However, once you enter the eye of that storm then it really doesn't. Wishing you and yours nothing but the best in this trying time. Hope that the NSC family is a source of comfort and a rich seam of information in the coming days. Take care.

 

[BNthree]

Very recently had 2 members of my family die within a few days. At the funeral for one of them this week and one of the mourners dropped dead of a heart attack inside the chapel. An election result I didn't want is the least of my problems right now.