[Misc] It doesn’t really matter, does it?

[Bry Nylon]

I hope people don’t object to me using this thread like my own personal blog space? It’s quite cathartic putting my thoughts down here, I just don’t want to bore people, although I guess the answer there is, don’t read it...

We're all with you.

 

[cheshunt seagull]

Had my first lesson in the vagaries of cancer treatmeny today - don't plan anything...!

Little one and I were ready for our trip to see Santa at Leeds castle, but when I messaged my wife to let her know we were on the way she said she was feeling poorly.

I told her I would call in with our little man, so she could see him as she hasn't seen him since Friday and missed him.

When I got to the hospital the nurses and doctor had worked on my wife and had given her anti-nausea tablets, pain killers and a pep talk!

We enjoyed our couple of hours out, but she was tired by the end of it - it was just nice to be "normal" for a couple of hours, even if she did still have her hospital "bracelet" on and didn't want to be included in the photo with Santa!

It was a lovely time, that was all too short and makes you realise how precious and fragile life is...!

Next Christmas will be so much better...

My experience was that once I had got into a regular treatment routine I had a much better idea of what I could and could not do and the days on which I tended to feel better. This does help you to make realistic plans and when you have good days out, and I had many, you really appreciate them. Try and keep positive and feel free to share as much as you want.

 

[portlock seagull]

Had my first lesson in the vagaries of cancer treatmeny today - don't plan anything...!

Little one and I were ready for our trip to see Santa at Leeds castle, but when I messaged my wife to let her know we were on the way she said she was feeling poorly.

I told her I would call in with our little man, so she could see him as she hasn't seen him since Friday and missed him.

When I got to the hospital the nurses and doctor had worked on my wife and had given her anti-nausea tablets, pain killers and a pep talk!

We enjoyed our couple of hours out, but she was tired by the end of it - it was just nice to be "normal" for a couple of hours, even if she did still have her hospital "bracelet" on and didn't want to be included in the photo with Santa!

It was a lovely time, that was all too short and makes you realise how precious and fragile life is...!

Next Christmas will be so much better...

I’m so sorry, thoughts with you and your family. My wife’s oldest and best friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s devastating news to hear and we’re doing our level best to support her through. Where there’s life there’s hope though. You must try to remain positive that you’ll all come through. I really feel for you, the worry can be overwhelming so lots of walks if you can - natural environment helps enormously in my experience and go easy if you’re a drinker as alcohol is a natural depressant and can trigger panic attacks given your level of anxiety will have increased. Be strong. Have courage. Thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Wardy's twin]

Had my first lesson in the vagaries of cancer treatmeny today - don't plan anything...!

Little one and I were ready for our trip to see Santa at Leeds castle, but when I messaged my wife to let her know we were on the way she said she was feeling poorly.

I told her I would call in with our little man, so she could see him as she hasn't seen him since Friday and missed him.

When I got to the hospital the nurses and doctor had worked on my wife and had given her anti-nausea tablets, pain killers and a pep talk!

We enjoyed our couple of hours out, but she was tired by the end of it - it was just nice to be "normal" for a couple of hours, even if she did still have her hospital "bracelet" on and didn't want to be included in the photo with Santa!

It was a lovely time, that was all too short and makes you realise how precious and fragile life is...!

Next Christmas will be so much better...

a few thoughts

a) try to encourage her to be in the pictures
b) if she is having chemo and looses her hair it will be a blow to he self esteem...In my wife's case she did get a wig, mainly because she wanted to hide the hair loss from our young grand children aged 18 months and 4. The 4 year old caught her one day without it and just said nannie where's your hair gone , was answered and that was that. The 18 month did not seem to care/notice either way. My wife stopped wearing it from that point as it was uncomfortable and had no need to keep up the pretence.
c) Certainly keep a log of her physical and mental feelings and try to work out the patterns of moods and discomfort to establish the norm for each cycle.
d) You mentioned about blood clots , my wife had that as well, it would seem it is pretty common she is now on self injected tinzaparin.
e) my wife has had various doses of steroids , the impact is amazing so IF you are planning trips it might be possible to get some for short periods

 

[LamieRobertson]

I hope people don’t object to me using this thread like my own personal blog space? It’s quite cathartic putting my thoughts down here, I just don’t want to bore people, although I guess the answer there is, don’t read it...

You carry right on!

 

[darkwolf666]

a few thoughts

a) try to encourage her to be in the pictures
b) if she is having chemo and looses her hair it will be a blow to he self esteem...In my wife's case she did get a wig, mainly because she wanted to hide the hair loss from our young grand children aged 18 months and 4. The 4 year old caught her one day without it and just said nannie where's your hair gone , was answered and that was that. The 18 month did not seem to care/notice either way. My wife stopped wearing it from that point as it was uncomfortable and had no need to keep up the pretence.
c) Certainly keep a log of her physical and mental feelings and try to work out the patterns of moods and discomfort to establish the norm for each cycle.
d) You mentioned about blood clots , my wife had that as well, it would seem it is pretty common she is now on self injected tinzaparin.
e) my wife has had various doses of steroids , the impact is amazing so IF you are planning trips it might be possible to get some for short periods

Thanks for the reply...
a - she hates having her photo taken at the best of times, Santa's elves did try, but she wasn't having any of it...
b - Maidstone hospital runs a wig clinic and she has said about going along. I think she is more in favour or a scarf / bandana style covering than a wig though!
c - that's a very good tip, will make a note of that once she starts her chemo, which is probably Thursday or Friday.
d - the blood clots bit was quite scary. My wife's leg had swollen up really badly back in October, which was put down to the pressure on her urethra by the mass she had been diagnosed with. Clearly now it is apparent this was due to the lymph nodes not doing their job, and the crap was collecting in her leg. She has been on Fragmin since then, with a daily dose that I have to administer, as she hates needles!
e - the doctor has mentioned the first medication she will get is steroids, before the chemo itself starts - not sure what the steroids are for, after a while you stop asking questions and just go with what they tell you!

She had to have a bone marrow sample taken tonight, which she said was hell. The doctor has now advised her it is unlikely she will be home for Christmas!

 

[BensGrandad]

Thanks for all the support, much appreciated. Mum has got through the night without any further events, so that is a positive.

My wife has messaged me too, she is very tearful and very scared. Scared for the future and scared of the treatment. Her first question on being told about the chemo was “will I lose my hair” - strange, as a man it doesn’t seem that important, but to a lady it’s a defining part of their psyche.

The hospital are very good and have even mentioned they have a wig clinic on Wednesdays. If the wife doesn’t get one I might see if I can get a Ted Danson!

I know where you are coming from as my wife suffered the same but she was philosophical and said she would rather live with a wig than not live at all. She was fortunate her hair went grey and she lost just a little and had to have a different hairstyle but no major problem. So you can assure your wife hair loss is not definite and I hope that she recovers, as my wife has.

 

[Wardy's twin]

Thanks for the reply...
a - she hates having her photo taken at the best of times, Santa's elves did try, but she wasn't having any of it...
b - Maidstone hospital runs a wig clinic and she has said about going along. I think she is more in favour or a scarf / bandana style covering than a wig though!
c - that's a very good tip, will make a note of that once she starts her chemo, which is probably Thursday or Friday.
d - the blood clots bit was quite scary. My wife's leg had swollen up really badly back in October, which was put down to the pressure on her urethra by the mass she had been diagnosed with. Clearly now it is apparent this was due to the lymph nodes not doing their job, and the crap was collecting in her leg. She has been on Fragmin since then, with a daily dose that I have to administer, as she hates needles!
e - the doctor has mentioned the first medication she will get is steroids, before the chemo itself starts - not sure what the steroids are for, after a while you stop asking questions and just go with what they tell you!

She had to have a bone marrow sample taken tonight, which she said was hell. The doctor has now advised her it is unlikely she will be home for Christmas!

For my wife the 'steroids' are used to control the inflammation in the lump so it reduces the pain and have been very good for her. It also has two side effects ; constipation and massive bouts of energy so she will be buzzing about cleaning etc.

 

[papajaff]

DW, sending you all the very best at this tough time for you, hope you can find that extra strength for yourself and all around you.

Thanks for sharing a difficult time for you. Much love and hugs.

 

[dazzer6666]

I hope people don’t object to me using this thread like my own personal blog space? It’s quite cathartic putting my thoughts down here, I just don’t want to bore people, although I guess the answer there is, don’t read it...

God no - if it helps even a tiny bit, you crack on

 

[rippleman]

I hope people don’t object to me using this thread like my own personal blog space? It’s quite cathartic putting my thoughts down here, I just don’t want to bore people, although I guess the answer there is, don’t read it...

Despite all the vicious spite and bile on political threads over recent times, it's moments like this when we all come together to offer our love and support for those going through hard times that shows our NSC community at it's best.

You keep posting as much as you like fella. We are all hear to offer a comforting word when you need it.

Much love to you and your wife and particularly to your kids who must feel bemused by what's going on at the moment.

 

[darkwolf666]

Just another manic Monday

Looking forward to the big match tonight, but before the light release of football I have a rather manic day ahead...

Had to get our little man to nursery this morning for 9.15, he decides otherwise and decides to sleep in until nearly 8.30, instead of his usual 6am!

Fortunately he wakes in a good mood and is quite happy for me to rush him. I did have to take his toast off of him while I put him in the bath.

Fed, dried and dressed I got him to nursery just as they opened. Straight from nursery to Maidstone to see my wife in hospital. She has had a good night sleep, but has frequent bouts of tears, that just come from nowhere, during which she is inconsolable. My wife isn’t a great one for talking through problems, but she has now agreed it would be a good idea to talk to a counsellor.

I manage to spend just over an hour with my wife, but don’t feel too bad at rushing off, as her sister is popping in too. Arrive back at nursery just as they are letting the parents through to collect their kids.

Home by 12 and make little man some lunch. I actually have time for a cup of coffee...

Got to be on the road again at 1pm as little man has an appointment with his nephrologist at Medway Hospital, as he only has one (small) functioning kidney. From there it’s two lots of blood tests for him, which will be fun, as they can’t get a vein up in his arm, consequently bloods always have to be done by a doctor!

Hopefully I will get home to Sittingbourne around 4pm, just in time to give little man some tea and possibly an early bath (hope that’s not an omen for Brighton players tonight). My daughter is then going to sit with little man and the two older kids while I shoot back to Maidstone. Should get another hour and a bit with the wife before I leave again to hopefully catch most of the first half of the football...

At this point I might even manage to have something to eat and a well deserved beer!!!

Tomorrow it starts all over again, apart from the football, obviously...

 

[darkwolf666]

Despite all the vicious spite and bile on political threads over recent times, it's moments like this when we all come together to offer our love and support for those going through hard times that shows our NSC community at it's best.

You keep posting as much as you like fella. We are all hear to offer a comforting word when you need it.

Much love to you and your wife and particularly to your kids who must feel bemused by what's going on at the moment.

Thanks for your post, much appreciated. In a horrible way it is quite fortunate that the 3 kids we care for all have learning disabilities of varying degrees, the little one is autistic, and has foetal alcohol syndrome and a chromosome deficiency and doesn’t understand what’s going on generally, life sort of passes him by!

The older two border on the autism spectrum and don’t do emotions. When I told them last night that “nanny might not be home for Christmas” I got back. “Ok, what’s for tea tomorrow”... on this occasion the lack of empathy actually made me smile...

 

[Lever]

Just another manic Monday

Looking forward to the big match tonight, but before the light release of football I have a rather manic day ahead...

Had to get our little man to nursery this morning for 9.15, he decides otherwise and decides to sleep in until nearly 8.30, instead of his usual 6am!

Fortunately he wakes in a good mood and is quite happy for me to rush him. I did have to take his toast off of him while I put him in the bath.

Fed, dried and dressed I got him to nursery just as they opened. Straight from nursery to Maidstone to see my wife in hospital. She has had a good night sleep, but has frequent bouts of tears, that just come from nowhere, during which she is inconsolable. My wife isn’t a great one for talking through problems, but she has now agreed it would be a good idea to talk to a counsellor.

I manage to spend just over an hour with my wife, but don’t feel too bad at rushing off, as her sister is popping in too. Arrive back at nursery just as they are letting the parents through to collect their kids.

Home by 12 and make little man some lunch. I actually have time for a cup of coffee...

Got to be on the road again at 1pm as little man has an appointment with his nephrologist at Medway Hospital, as he only has one (small) functioning kidney. From there it’s two lots of blood tests for him, which will be fun, as they can’t get a vein up in his arm, consequently bloods always have to be done by a doctor!

Hopefully I will get home to Sittingbourne around 4pm, just in time to give little man some tea and possibly an early bath (hope that’s not an omen for Brighton players tonight). My daughter is then going to sit with little man and the two older kids while I shoot back to Maidstone. Should get another hour and a bit with the wife before I leave again to hopefully catch most of the first half of the football...

At this point I might even manage to have something to eat and a well deserved beer!!!

Tomorrow it starts all over again, apart from the football, obviously...

You are all doing a fine job of coping and finding some life affirming pleasures where you can. Thinking of you all.....

 

[surrey jim]

Thoughts with you and your family at this time,

 

[darkwolf666]

Things are slowly moving along for my wife. I visited her today, just after the local choir had been round the ward, singing Christmas carols, which had had the ladies in floods of tears.

It appears at least one of the ladies in the 5 bed ward will be making the most of their last Christmas. One was sent home yesterday, to spend time with her family, as basically there is nothing more they can do to cure, just to prolong life a bit.

It's a really sobering experience...

My wife has been informed she will start her chemo tomorrow. The doctor came round with the consent forms to fill out - if she wasn't bricking it before, she certainly is now! The extensive list of side effects would be enough to scare the strongest man!

It's all ****ing scary - and I love my wife all the more (if that's possible) for the way she is facing this.

 

[Wardy's twin]

Things are slowly moving along for my wife. I visited her today, just after the local choir had been round the ward, singing Christmas carols, which had had the ladies in floods of tears.

It appears at least one of the ladies in the 5 bed ward will be making the most of their last Christmas. One was sent home yesterday, to spend time with her family, as basically there is nothing more they can do to cure, just to prolong life a bit.

It's a really sobering experience...

My wife has been informed she will start her chemo tomorrow. The doctor came round with the consent forms to fill out - if she wasn't bricking it before, she certainly is now! The extensive list of side effects would be enough to scare the strongest man!

It's all ****ing scary - and I love my wife all the more (if that's possible) for the way she is facing this.

which chemo is she having...

 

[darkwolf666]

which chemo is she having...

R-Chop, apparently...

I'm ****ing scared for her... But keeping a brave face and cracking inane "dad" jokes

 

[doogie004]

I wish you and your family all the best stay strong


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[darkwolf666]

I wish you and your family all the best stay strong


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I'm trying, I really am trying, but it's getting harder by the day.

I always try and put a light and cheery face on things, but I'm seriously struggling at the moment!