[Misc] It doesn’t really matter, does it?

[darkwolf666]

I can’t believe how I missed this thread, I’ve just sat and read it from start to end.

We might have had the odd petty argument on here but my opinion of you has altered completely darkwolf.

You are one top bloke, my heart goes out to you both for what you have been through, but it’s now this minute singing with joy at your great news.

It’s not all about what team you support on here.

Thank you, thank you ever so much for your very kind words...!

 

[dazzer6666]

Fantastic news [emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122]

 

[Durlston]

[MENTION=33649]darkwolf666[/MENTION]

I have been following this thread for a while recently and the many ups and downs you and your loved ones have been through show what an amazing person you are. To keep your head up when you have been through some really tough times is a credit to you and I hope you feel in a much better place now. To have the strength to cope and try to carry on as normal must have taken some doing.

I think the headline says it all. Except that the sun will always shine beautifully again and you will be blessed with everyone close around you. I hope you are really enjoying the fruits of life. All the best to all your family. You are an incredible gentleman!

 

[darkwolf666]

[MENTION=33649]darkwolf666[/MENTION]

I have been following this thread for a while recently and the many ups and downs you and your loved ones have been through show what an amazing person you are. To keep your head up when you have been through some really tough times is a credit to you and I hope you feel in a much better place now. To have the strength to cope and try to carry on as normal must have taken some doing.

I think the headline says it all. Except that the sun will always shine beautifully again and you will be blessed with everyone close around you. I hope you are really enjoying the fruits of life. All the best to all your family. You are an incredible gentleman!

I showed your post to my wife, then I'm not ashamed to say I burst into tears.

I can't thank you enough for the kind words, and for all those who have been so supportive of me over the last torrid 18 months or more.

When I have composed myself a little better I will attempt to write something not affected by the onion chopping...!

Thank you x

 

[Durlston]

I showed your post to my wife, then I'm not ashamed to say I burst into tears.

I can't thank you enough for the kind words, and for all those who have been so supportive of me over the last torrid 18 months or more.

When I have composed myself a little better I will attempt to write something not affected by the onion chopping...!

Thank you x

You're a top man. You'll set me off as well mate with my emotions at the moment!

I wasn't on NSC for a while because I had to sort out my physical health and this might sound a bit mad - I can't think of a better word at the moment - but it can be a case of fine margins and pure luck at finding a lump that was early enough to be able to sort everything out pretty quickly and treated. I've still got severe pain in my right testicle that is constant but I've got my painkillers and there is nothing to get embarrassed about. The doctors have seen it all. Check your testes after a hot bath or shower and if something doesn't feel right then make an appointment.

I found myself arguing with a couple of posters on here because my head was in bits. I didn't expect to talk so much about the worry, anguish and turmoil I was in. Now I'm never taking anything for granted again. I was going to send this as a PM but as the tears started I wanted to talk about my experience.

But what you've been through I can't imagine how you've coped and been so strong. Take care pal and tell your family that you love them - but I'm sure you've done that already!

Best wishes.

Andrew. x

 

[darkwolf666]

You're a top man. You'll set me off as well mate with my emotions at the moment!

I wasn't on NSC for a while because I had to sort out my physical health and this might sound a bit mad - I can't think of a better word at the moment - but it can be a case of fine margins and pure luck at finding a lump that was early enough to be able to sort everything out pretty quickly and treated. I've still got severe pain in my right testicle that is constant but I've got my painkillers and there is nothing to get embarrassed about. The doctors have seen it all. Check your testes after a hot bath or shower and if something doesn't feel right then make an appointment.

I found myself arguing with a couple of posters on here because my head was in bits. I didn't expect to talk so much about the worry, anguish and turmoil I was in. Now I'm never taking anything for granted again. I was going to send this as a PM but as the tears started I wanted to talk about my experience.

But what you've been through I can't imagine how you've coped and been so strong. Take care pal and tell your family that you love them - but I'm sure you've done that already!

Best wishes.

Andrew. x

Without wanting to turn this into some weird manly love in, thank you...

You are so right about the need for men to be open and not embarrassed about their most obvious cancers, testicular and prostate!

Cancer is an absolute bitch and as I know so well, can turn your world upside down in the blink of an eye.

As for how do I cope, well at times I’m not sure!

Clearly I have my wife to look after and care for, but also our little one, whose own problems mean his life is going to be full of challenges!

These things keep me going, and to be honest they stop me from looking inwards too much. I feel needed and helpful, rather than what I did when my wife got her diagnosis, helpless!

Good luck for your challenges, and may the bumps in the road be small ones.

 

[Durlston]

Without wanting to turn this into some weird manly love in, thank you...

You are so right about the need for men to be open and not embarrassed about their most obvious cancers, testicular and prostate!

Cancer is an absolute bitch and as I know so well, can turn your world upside down in the blink of an eye.

As for how do I cope, well at times I’m not sure!

Clearly I have my wife to look after and care for, but also our little one, whose own problems mean his life is going to be full of challenges!

These things keep me going, and to be honest they stop me from looking inwards too much. I feel needed and helpful, rather than what I did when my wife got her diagnosis, helpless!

Good luck for your challenges, and may the bumps in the road be small ones.

It is hard to describe what it was like finding the lump after having a bath. My heart seemed to stop, my blood ran cold and it scared the shit out of me. After a few days it would feel smaller or less painful and I'd delay going to my GP. Then something would remind me of the problem, I'd become terribly irritable and I just knew I had to finally pluck up the courage. So I was sent for my ultrasound scan just a few days later and there was confirmation of the lump (which was seminoma) that had to be removed as soon as could be or I could lose my testicle - unlikely but possible. So I had my surgery and the specialists were so happy that I didn't need any radiotherapy. My wound is still so sore, I get nightmares of being kicked on my scrotum and I'm finding it difficult to sleep (that's why I'm still on here!) The stitches were taken out not that long ago. Sorry that I'm waffling on a bit now! It's the painkillers. I've covered everything I think.

What you said was spot on with having things to distract you and not having time to dwell on them but I still don't know how you cope! I'll chat to you again to see how you're getting on, possibly by PM. It's so nice to share our traumatic stories. Sleep well and you are amazing!

 

[Weststander]

NSC at its very best.

All the best and good health to Durlston, DW666 and Mrs.DW666.

 

[MTSeagulls]

I didn't want to be self indulgent so I looked for this thread as the title is perfect.
I'd been getting a bit peed off with Europe's perfomance in the Ryder Cup and looking nervously forward to Monday's game. Hoping for a win in f course so that a couple of the Palace trolls, who annoy me so much, will disappear again for a while.
This morning was like any normal Sunday. I went off to buy baguettes for some bacon rolls.
On my return my step daughter and wife broke the news that our four month old granddaughter died in her sleep last night. We live 800km away but luckily our son in law is a pilot and flew us there by mid morning.
So as the thread title says 'it doesn't really matter.
Something I'll take on board going forward.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I didn't want to be self indulgent so I looked for this thread as the title is perfect.
I'd been getting a bit peed off with Europe's perfomance in the Ryder Cup and looking nervously forward to Monday's game. Hoping for a win in f course so that a couple of the Palace trolls, who annoy me so much, will disappear again for a while.
This morning was like any normal Sunday. I went off to buy baguettes for some bacon rolls.
On my return my step daughter and wife broke the news that our four month old granddaughter died in her sleep last night. We live 800km away but luckily our son in law is a pilot and flew us there by mid morning.
So as the thread title says 'it doesn't really matter.
Something I'll take on board going forward.

That is quite simple awful.

I very rarely say, "thoughts with..." because frankly in my case that isn't always necessarily true. But that is just tragic and so when I say my thoughts are with you at this time, I do sincerely and genuinely mean it.

 

[theboybilly]

I didn't want to be self indulgent so I looked for this thread as the title is perfect.
I'd been getting a bit peed off with Europe's perfomance in the Ryder Cup and looking nervously forward to Monday's game. Hoping for a win in f course so that a couple of the Palace trolls, who annoy me so much, will disappear again for a while.
This morning was like any normal Sunday. I went off to buy baguettes for some bacon rolls.
On my return my step daughter and wife broke the news that our four month old granddaughter died in her sleep last night. We live 800km away but luckily our son in law is a pilot and flew us there by mid morning.
So as the thread title says 'it doesn't really matter.
Something I'll take on board going forward.

My goodness, heartbreaking. Please accept my heartfelt thoughts for your family and hope that you can find solace in that your Grandaughter will hopefully know, somehow, how much she was loved and will continue to be so. My prayers are with you all

 

[Algernon]

So sorry to read that.
I'm uncertain what to say. Nothing will suffice.
Bless each of them.

 

[darkwolf666]

I didn't want to be self indulgent so I looked for this thread as the title is perfect.
I'd been getting a bit peed off with Europe's perfomance in the Ryder Cup and looking nervously forward to Monday's game. Hoping for a win in f course so that a couple of the Palace trolls, who annoy me so much, will disappear again for a while.
This morning was like any normal Sunday. I went off to buy baguettes for some bacon rolls.
On my return my step daughter and wife broke the news that our four month old granddaughter died in her sleep last night. We live 800km away but luckily our son in law is a pilot and flew us there by mid morning.
So as the thread title says 'it doesn't really matter.
Something I'll take on board going forward.

I haven't been this way for a while, but was tipped off to this post by my brother!

That is horrendous news, I am so sorry for you and your family - there can be little worse in life than losing a child, especially one so young!

My heart goes out to you and them - I could utter the usual platitudes in some sort of sympathy, but I am sure at this time it would mean nothing to you.

Take care and stay strong...!

 

[Weststander]

So sorry to you all xx

Yep, adverse sports results mean nothing in the big picture.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I didn't want to be self indulgent so I looked for this thread as the title is perfect.
I'd been getting a bit peed off with Europe's perfomance in the Ryder Cup and looking nervously forward to Monday's game. Hoping for a win in f course so that a couple of the Palace trolls, who annoy me so much, will disappear again for a while.
This morning was like any normal Sunday. I went off to buy baguettes for some bacon rolls.
On my return my step daughter and wife broke the news that our four month old granddaughter died in her sleep last night. We live 800km away but luckily our son in law is a pilot and flew us there by mid morning.
So as the thread title says 'it doesn't really matter.
Something I'll take on board going forward.

Thanks for posting that. And it was courageous. My best wishes. HWT.

 

[darkwolf666]

Well, it’s been just over two years since I originally posted this thread. Not sure if anyone really cares, but I’m going to give an update of where I am at now – so please excuse my self indulgence.

I have largely stayed away from the forums, mainly due to the lack of empathy shown by some posters on these boards, and some real lunatic fringe beliefs and comments, I just felt now would be a good time to pop my head over the parapet, briefly, again.

Two years seems a long time when you say it, looking forward, but it has been amazing how quickly this time seems to have gone by. My wife is still currently Lymphoma free and has two more chemotherapy sessions to go to the end of her maintenance regime – then it will be a case of wait and see.

We are realistic, we know it will come back and the likelihood is that the Lymphoma will probably eventually be the killer. It’s funny as I use the expression “we” a lot, but it’s not me that is affected by this directly, it is my wife who has the Sword of Damacles hanging over her. I keep telling her that 50% of people with her particular cancer live 10 years or more after diagnosis, but for some reason this doesn’t appear to cheer her up. However, the big change in the last two years has clearly been Covid and how this affects people who are vulnerable.

I currently find myself waking every morning, once we have had our family group hug in bed, with our little one leaping all over my wife and I then the feeling of dread starts to creep over me again! I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down and can see nothing but darkness in front of me. I get breathless and often feel quite tearful – I am sure that someone will tell me to talk to someone, but it is really difficult, I have to be there and be strong for my wife. I know, in all likelihood what I am experiencing is depression, and I am not sure any amount of talking to people is going to change anything. I mean, it’s not going to actually kill me, is it?

It’s like this every morning now, but was probably at it’s worst this morning after the government’s scrapping of all restrictions. I see people “celebrating” getting back to normal, cheers in the Houses of Parliament, as Boris Johnson uses the lifting of the restrictions as a means to cling onto his job and not a mention, not even a whisper for those poor people who are still in fear of their lives.

"What’s the problem, you have had your jabs", I hear people say – in fact my wife has her fourth Covid jab coming up next weekend and we have the knowledge that should my wife catch Covid we have a nice PCR test kit sitting in the cupboard, kindly donated by the government, as our main means of protection now. Actually, that’s not true, we have generated our own level of protections. Like many people immunocompromised, we have no idea if the vaccines will offer any protection at all.

Our food deliveries again come courtesy of the supermarket delivery vans. Prior to Omicron I had started venturing to our local supermarket at 6am to get fresh fruit and veg, but we decided this was too risky, especially as people didn’t appear to do something simple like pop a face mask on while shopping.

Apart from going out for our daily walks we don’t leave the house – imagine that, 22 months of not going “out”, no pub, no football, no, well anything really!

So here we are, 22 months down the line. My wife’s cancer is still currently under control, my Dad has spent his second Christmas without my Mum, his wife of 60 odd years and The Albion continue to delight and offer some light relief from the everyday shit.

I could have written on and on and on about how we have coped over the last two years, how we have laughed and cried and celebrated small gains, but then cried as they were snatched away again.

All I hope is that anyone reading this can just stop for a minute, please don’t feel sorry for us, enjoy your freedoms, as it has been a long time coming, but please just spare us and all the vulnerable a thought.

Up The Albion!

 

[The Clamp]

Well, it’s been just over two years since I originally posted this thread. Not sure if anyone really cares, but I’m going to give an update of where I am at now – so please excuse my self indulgence.

I have largely stayed away from the forums, mainly due to the lack of empathy shown by some posters on these boards, and some real lunatic fringe beliefs and comments, I just felt now would be a good time to pop my head over the parapet, briefly, again.

Two years seems a long time when you say it, looking forward, but it has been amazing how quickly this time seems to have gone by. My wife is still currently Lymphoma free and has two more chemotherapy sessions to go to the end of her maintenance regime – then it will be a case of wait and see.

We are realistic, we know it will come back and the likelihood is that the Lymphoma will probably eventually be the killer. It’s funny as I use the expression “we” a lot, but it’s not me that is affected by this directly, it is my wife who has the Sword of Damacles hanging over her. I keep telling her that 50% of people with her particular cancer live 10 years or more after diagnosis, but for some reason this doesn’t appear to cheer her up. However, the big change in the last two years has clearly been Covid and how this affects people who are vulnerable.

I currently find myself waking every morning, once we have had our family group hug in bed, with our little one leaping all over my wife and I then the feeling of dread starts to creep over me again! I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down and can see nothing but darkness in front of me. I get breathless and often feel quite tearful – I am sure that someone will tell me to talk to someone, but it is really difficult, I have to be there and be strong for my wife. I know, in all likelihood what I am experiencing is depression, and I am not sure any amount of talking to people is going to change anything. I mean, it’s not going to actually kill me, is it?

It’s like this every morning now, but was probably at it’s worst this morning after the government’s scrapping of all restrictions. I see people “celebrating” getting back to normal, cheers in the Houses of Parliament, as Boris Johnson uses the lifting of the restrictions as a means to cling onto his job and not a mention, not even a whisper for those poor people who are still in fear of their lives.

"What’s the problem, you have had your jabs", I hear people say – in fact my wife has her fourth Covid jab coming up next weekend and we have the knowledge that should my wife catch Covid we have a nice PCR test kit sitting in the cupboard, kindly donated by the government, as our main means of protection now. Actually, that’s not true, we have generated our own level of protections. Like many people immunocompromised, we have no idea if the vaccines will offer any protection at all.

Our food deliveries again come courtesy of the supermarket delivery vans. Prior to Omicron I had started venturing to our local supermarket at 6am to get fresh fruit and veg, but we decided this was too risky, especially as people didn’t appear to do something simple like pop a face mask on while shopping.

Apart from going out for our daily walks we don’t leave the house – imagine that, 22 months of not going “out”, no pub, no football, no, well anything really!

So here we are, 22 months down the line. My wife’s cancer is still currently under control, my Dad has spent his second Christmas without my Mum, his wife of 60 odd years and The Albion continue to delight and offer some light relief from the everyday shit.

I could have written on and on and on about how we have coped over the last two years, how we have laughed and cried and celebrated small gains, but then cried as they were snatched away again.

All I hope is that anyone reading this can just stop for a minute, please don’t feel sorry for us, enjoy your freedoms, as it has been a long time coming, but please just spare us and all the vulnerable a thought.

Up The Albion!

Best wishes to you and your family, darkwolf.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Well, it’s been just over two years since I originally posted this thread. Not sure if anyone really cares, but I’m going to give an update of where I am at now – so please excuse my self indulgence.

I have largely stayed away from the forums, mainly due to the lack of empathy shown by some posters on these boards, and some real lunatic fringe beliefs and comments, I just felt now would be a good time to pop my head over the parapet, briefly, again.

Two years seems a long time when you say it, looking forward, but it has been amazing how quickly this time seems to have gone by. My wife is still currently Lymphoma free and has two more chemotherapy sessions to go to the end of her maintenance regime – then it will be a case of wait and see.

We are realistic, we know it will come back and the likelihood is that the Lymphoma will probably eventually be the killer. It’s funny as I use the expression “we” a lot, but it’s not me that is affected by this directly, it is my wife who has the Sword of Damacles hanging over her. I keep telling her that 50% of people with her particular cancer live 10 years or more after diagnosis, but for some reason this doesn’t appear to cheer her up. However, the big change in the last two years has clearly been Covid and how this affects people who are vulnerable.

I currently find myself waking every morning, once we have had our family group hug in bed, with our little one leaping all over my wife and I then the feeling of dread starts to creep over me again! I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down and can see nothing but darkness in front of me. I get breathless and often feel quite tearful – I am sure that someone will tell me to talk to someone, but it is really difficult, I have to be there and be strong for my wife. I know, in all likelihood what I am experiencing is depression, and I am not sure any amount of talking to people is going to change anything. I mean, it’s not going to actually kill me, is it?

It’s like this every morning now, but was probably at it’s worst this morning after the government’s scrapping of all restrictions. I see people “celebrating” getting back to normal, cheers in the Houses of Parliament, as Boris Johnson uses the lifting of the restrictions as a means to cling onto his job and not a mention, not even a whisper for those poor people who are still in fear of their lives.

"What’s the problem, you have had your jabs", I hear people say – in fact my wife has her fourth Covid jab coming up next weekend and we have the knowledge that should my wife catch Covid we have a nice PCR test kit sitting in the cupboard, kindly donated by the government, as our main means of protection now. Actually, that’s not true, we have generated our own level of protections. Like many people immunocompromised, we have no idea if the vaccines will offer any protection at all.

Our food deliveries again come courtesy of the supermarket delivery vans. Prior to Omicron I had started venturing to our local supermarket at 6am to get fresh fruit and veg, but we decided this was too risky, especially as people didn’t appear to do something simple like pop a face mask on while shopping.

Apart from going out for our daily walks we don’t leave the house – imagine that, 22 months of not going “out”, no pub, no football, no, well anything really!

So here we are, 22 months down the line. My wife’s cancer is still currently under control, my Dad has spent his second Christmas without my Mum, his wife of 60 odd years and The Albion continue to delight and offer some light relief from the everyday shit.

I could have written on and on and on about how we have coped over the last two years, how we have laughed and cried and celebrated small gains, but then cried as they were snatched away again.

All I hope is that anyone reading this can just stop for a minute, please don’t feel sorry for us, enjoy your freedoms, as it has been a long time coming, but please just spare us and all the vulnerable a thought.

Up The Albion!

Thanks for posting, mate. You know where I am. Omicron is a fast spreading little piss weasel, still a threat to your missus, but down several notches down from the predecessors, and the next variant (Rodger, Susan, Zebulon?) will be even more contagious but less nasty.

Very best wishes, from points East

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Well, it’s been just over two years since I originally posted this thread. Not sure if anyone really cares, but I’m going to give an update of where I am at now – so please excuse my self indulgence.

I have largely stayed away from the forums, mainly due to the lack of empathy shown by some posters on these boards, and some real lunatic fringe beliefs and comments, I just felt now would be a good time to pop my head over the parapet, briefly, again.

Two years seems a long time when you say it, looking forward, but it has been amazing how quickly this time seems to have gone by. My wife is still currently Lymphoma free and has two more chemotherapy sessions to go to the end of her maintenance regime – then it will be a case of wait and see.

We are realistic, we know it will come back and the likelihood is that the Lymphoma will probably eventually be the killer. It’s funny as I use the expression “we” a lot, but it’s not me that is affected by this directly, it is my wife who has the Sword of Damacles hanging over her. I keep telling her that 50% of people with her particular cancer live 10 years or more after diagnosis, but for some reason this doesn’t appear to cheer her up. However, the big change in the last two years has clearly been Covid and how this affects people who are vulnerable.

I currently find myself waking every morning, once we have had our family group hug in bed, with our little one leaping all over my wife and I then the feeling of dread starts to creep over me again! I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down and can see nothing but darkness in front of me. I get breathless and often feel quite tearful – I am sure that someone will tell me to talk to someone, but it is really difficult, I have to be there and be strong for my wife. I know, in all likelihood what I am experiencing is depression, and I am not sure any amount of talking to people is going to change anything. I mean, it’s not going to actually kill me, is it?

It’s like this every morning now, but was probably at it’s worst this morning after the government’s scrapping of all restrictions. I see people “celebrating” getting back to normal, cheers in the Houses of Parliament, as Boris Johnson uses the lifting of the restrictions as a means to cling onto his job and not a mention, not even a whisper for those poor people who are still in fear of their lives.

"What’s the problem, you have had your jabs", I hear people say – in fact my wife has her fourth Covid jab coming up next weekend and we have the knowledge that should my wife catch Covid we have a nice PCR test kit sitting in the cupboard, kindly donated by the government, as our main means of protection now. Actually, that’s not true, we have generated our own level of protections. Like many people immunocompromised, we have no idea if the vaccines will offer any protection at all.

Our food deliveries again come courtesy of the supermarket delivery vans. Prior to Omicron I had started venturing to our local supermarket at 6am to get fresh fruit and veg, but we decided this was too risky, especially as people didn’t appear to do something simple like pop a face mask on while shopping.

Apart from going out for our daily walks we don’t leave the house – imagine that, 22 months of not going “out”, no pub, no football, no, well anything really!

So here we are, 22 months down the line. My wife’s cancer is still currently under control, my Dad has spent his second Christmas without my Mum, his wife of 60 odd years and The Albion continue to delight and offer some light relief from the everyday shit.

I could have written on and on and on about how we have coped over the last two years, how we have laughed and cried and celebrated small gains, but then cried as they were snatched away again.

All I hope is that anyone reading this can just stop for a minute, please don’t feel sorry for us, enjoy your freedoms, as it has been a long time coming, but please just spare us and all the vulnerable a thought.

Up The Albion!

My thoughts are with you. Your story puts everything in perspective.

 

[portlock seagull]

A tremendous post, humbling in fact. Sending you and yours the very best of luck and wishes.