Is Every Single Woman In The World Barking Mad ?.

[Easy 10]

Woman: "How do you WRITE women so well ?"
Melvin Udall: "I think of a man. Then I remove REASON and ACCOUNTABILITY".

Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets

 

[Trufflehound]

The more of all this I read, the happier I am to be married to an apparent "freak" who isn't moody, would rather go to the pub than go shopping, can't be arsed with mobile phones, and wouldn't be seen dead anywhere near Mamma Mia...

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Women always moan that they dont like guys who play mind games.

Yet any poor sod in a pub is supposed to know exactly every single mannerism they have and identify which ones are 'signals' and which ones arent.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Whats his name ?.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

One of my ex's always accused me of oggling Women in the street. Even when I was driving with my head straight ahead which she could see , I got accused of watching a attractive woman as she walked along

 

[Stat Brother]

You probably should have taken your hand out of your pants.

 

[hart's shirt]

It's the obsessive use of their mobile phones which I don't understand about women today.

I see them shuffling through crowded streets with their heads down,walking into people or stepping off the curb and nearly getting run over, because they're focusing on punching in another number into their mobiles so they can have yet another chat, or send another text message.

Or I hear them on the train at 7.00 in the morning, telling their friend what they've just had for breakfast, or what they're wearing to work. FFS!

If I want to 'phone someone, I'll sit down at home with a drink and pick up the phone, yet women today seem to be compelled to yak into their mobiles from the time they get up to the time they go to bed!

Bimbo Babble - it's everwhere, 24/7.

WHY ? WHY ? WHY ?

Never in the field of human communication has so much been said by so many who have so little to say.

 

[Pavilionaire]

All women are mad. This is the first lesson I will teach my son about girls.

A man spends so much time chasing a woman who is less mad than the last one, therefore the sooner you work out the fact they're all mad the less time you'll waste.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

One of my ex's always accused me of oggling Women in the street. Even when I was driving with my head straight ahead which she could see , I got accused of watching a attractive woman as she walked along

If this ever happens again (because you obviously are ogling no matter what you say) just say "Pssht, look at her, shes not a patch on you Darling" or"I dated someone who looked just like her once...she was Mental" or "Kerrisst, what is she thinking of?..those shoes with that skirt!"

 

[andybaha]

You might as well get used to the one you've got, because if you upped and left, the replacement would be excactly the same six months down the line.

Women are never happy unless they are moaning.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Why do all men GENERALISE about women?

 

[Alex Alex Dawson oo! oo!]

sorry, did someone say something?



Actually this is one of my problems ( of many). Sometimes I just cant help it, especially if wifer=y is talking about something and something more interesting comes on the telly. Trouble is after 26 years of marriage, she knows when I am not listening, and she just stops talking.....leaving me thinking...Oh bollox, what did she just say?

I managed to blame this on my chemotherapy for nearly a year but I've been found out now.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Why do all men GENERALISE about women?

Because (trust me on this) all women claim,when first you start a relationship with them, that they are not as petty, selfish,bitchy and emotional as your previous amours, they will even convince you that this is true by initially feigning reasonableness and even headedness, once they have their hooks in, however, they revert to form and become just as unreasonable,emotional and petty as all womankind are on a deeper level...generally speaking.

Some of them occaisionally have a "moment of clarity" where they will say "I was really over-reacting there" and apologise...they are the ones to keep. At least they admit to occaisionally being crap.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Why do all men GENERALISE about women?

Because we learnt to generalise from the best.

Women.


Women own the most common generalisations going around

• All men are pigs
• All men are only after one thing
• There's no decent men left

 

[Mellotron]

__________________
Brown is the weak/missing link in our defence and WILL screw England over in this campaign. (11.10.08)

Your quote could be referring to Gordon or Wes...

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Quite simply, if any of your MATES pulled some of the crap that your average Girlfriend pulls on a weekly/daily basis you would probably end up decking him..it is only the fact that you have "things" to do to your other half that you wouldn't want to do with your pals that keeps you interested.

That and the fact that women have to put up with our nonsense too.

 

[Pavilionaire]

The other excuse that a couple of women have trotted out for erratic / scatty behaviour is "hormones", particularly at "certain times of the month" or pregnancy.

It seems to be a last-resort justification for fuckwit behaviour that is iffy at best .

 

[Elder for England]

Women are fruit loops the lot of them. Why are they so unpredictable, why do they turn from being friendly and happy to being frosty and snappy within the space of 10 minutes with no apparent reason ?. Why do they like shoes so much ?. Why can they spend 8 hours walking around shops and not buy anything?. Why do they all love the Sound of Music and Mamma Mia ?. Why do they use 4 days a month as an excuse to be an absolute Cow ?. Why do they get the hump with you and then not tell you why ?.

Get a few initial thoughts.

Not every single one. I'm not that unpredictable (plus it's all part of the fun) or turn moody quickly, only when I've been pissed off. Shoes - you lot will never understand. 8 hours is too long and when I go shopping I mostly come back with one thing at least, but I'm equally happy going to/watching football, I do NOT want to go and see Mamma Mia it looks awful. Not an excuse, but you have to admit the male species is pretty irritating. If I'm annoyed I have no problem telling him why.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

So far as these "Why do all wimmin" rants are concerned I prefer the "never apologise, never explain" approach.

Because why spoil the fun for the chaps? Bless 'em.

 

[Peteinblack]

Why do all men GENERALISE about women?

"all men" ? That's a generalisation, Roz !