[Finance] I'm never going to buy my own house am I?

[CheeseRolls]

As well as everyone else YOU have to be strong for your Dad and for your Mum. You have enough responsibilities right now, so maybe stop beating yourself up for a few months over buying a house.

Sounds like a perfect shit storm frankly and I feel for you. Just hang on in there your Robbie Reinelt moment will come.

 

[Solid at the back]

I'm in a very similar situation, albeit a few years younger. I've not given up hope yet, but Mrs has very bad credit history, so would likely need to apply for a mortgage all on my own and earning £25k a year means nobody would go near me. Have you looked at shared ownership? That's the route I'm looking at now, I'd rather own 50% of a home, then nothing.

 

[The Merry Prankster]

You may but you'll only be contributing to a system that will make it absolutely impossible for your kids (not that I'd criticise or blame you).

I'm only 18 years older than you but they've been runaway years of unfettered neo-liberal capitalism and rentier property owning and it's been a disaster for people younger than me. I bought my first flat at 20, can't remember exact details but it was fairly easily affordable (I was working as a theatre carpenter) and the cost of the flat was about a x3 income multiplier.

That people have consistently vote to support a system that clearly doesn't work in most people's favour is the biggest mystery of my life.

Trickle down economics - my arse.

 

[Superphil]

Applies to new build only, try finding a new build in Burgess Hill or surrounding areas for under £350k.

My sister has just done this, similar age to you. Was worried she’d never have her own house, but using the help to buy scheme she’s managed to find a new 3 bed house in Billingshurst, and a mortgage, she moved in the week before Christmas.

Don’t give up, keep looking, good luck, I hope you find a place soon that meets your needs.

 

[albion534]

I’ll always remember listening to radio 2 (I’m only 31 but old before my time) a guy in there who’s paid rent for 15 years, never missed a payment, couldn’t understand why that proof can’t go towards a mortgage, you already proved to the bank you can make all your payments
The problem is, I find, is thay especially the tories, they don’t want everyone to own their house, they want private renters to prosper, maybe the cynic in me here
Trying to but somewhere down south literally boils down to someone unfortunately passing and inheritance money.
Keep strong mate. You’re not the only 1 struggling. Sometimes posting on here is great.


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[drew]

I've already decided i wouldn't go back. Everything seemed above board and ok at interview stages and initial meetings, but I was wrong.

They're a bunch of charlatans who haven't got a clue, they just rely on govt grants and spunk the money up the wall on cars and houses.

They say they make world leading heating systems for big buildings.

When I saw the heaters themselves I quickly realised it was a 30 year old design. The science is there but their design is shite. I saw a few issues and asked a few questions about them asking how they actually worked and the reply I got was, and I kid you not....

"I've changed the laws of thermodynamics"

A few concerns sprung up in my mind right there and then. You can't change a scientific law, because its a ****ing law! That's the point of them

I've never seen such wasteful things done at a company before in my life. Its a dad and two sons who run it, they haven't got a ****ing clue what they're doing and none are qualified as an engineer in any way shape or form.

One was 'electrical director' who decided to make the wiring looms himself to save money. And no 2 looms were the same (used different colour wires for different things in what were supposed to be identical looms).

Each heater needed 3m of wire per loom. They were making 250 heaters, so he ordered 5km of wire as it was "cheaper". I asked several things....

1. Where the **** do you intend to store all this stuff in here?

2. Why is it all the same colour?

3. What made think its cheaper?

The response was it was cheaper per length the more you buy.

Technically true but not when you've ordered 5x more than you ****ing needed. In the wrong colour.

So he put it in his boot and took it to the scrappy to hide it from his dad and pocketed the money.

And I have many more reasons and stories to not work there despite only being there 2 weeks

I'm better off out, and who's to say they wouldn't think twice about bringing me back and binning me off again.

On the basis of new evidence, I request the jury ignore my previous statement!!!

 

[HAILSHAM SEAGULL]

Sorry to hear about your situation.
Is worth looking to move to another area.
When I got married in 79, there was no way I could afford to buy a house in Brighton. My wife to be lived in Hailsham so it was a no brainer.
The property over here is a lot cheaper than anywhere on main line to London, eg Burgess Hill.
10 mins to Eastbourne, 30 minutes to Brighton and Hastings, 40 minutes to Tunbridge Wells, 5 mins to Polegate if you need London connections.
275k will get you a 2/3 bed semi in Hailsham and reasonable distance to travel for your work

 

[Reddleman]

I'm 42 sodding years old.

I've come to the conclusion that I should just ****ing give up on the whole dream.

As some of you know I've been saving for the best part of 10 years for a deposit for a house and have a sizeable deposit so it was time to start looking and applying for mortgages.

This was back in March just before the world decided to shit itself to death with Covid19.

Ever since then its just been let down after let down or problem after problem.

The Mrs was due to go back to work part time on April 1st 2020 after her maternity leave had finished so I was desperate to get one before that happened as in doing so her income dropped by £8k a year severely affecting our LTV figures.

Over the next few months all my overtime disappeared as the company I worked for began to struggle costing me over £8k in yearly o/t earnings. Basically the £16k a year we are down has hit us really hard and put paid to any chance of being able to borrow enough to buy anywhere.

So I got a new job in December that involved a big rise in my basic pay and we thought we could be back in the game and be looking at houses now.

I went back to work after Christmas feeling positive and hopeful for the future on the 4th Jan.

On the morning of 5th Jan my car broke down driving to work (£450 for a new alternator). At 10am the MD of the company called me into his office to say they were shutting down due to Lockdown 3 being announced the previous evening and furloughing all staff.

Because I only started in December I couldn't be furloughed so they terminated my employment (I was on 3 month probationary period) so there was **** all I could do but go home and tell the wife.

That afternoon I had an emotional call from my mum to say that Dad (who had been in hospital over christmas) wasn't doing well as they'd had a meeting with Oncology at RSCH and that there was nothing more they could do about his brain tumours and that The Martletts would be taking over palliative care moving forward.

I say luckily in a very ironic way that I've worked quick despite this year being worse than 2020 already that I've managed to find another job so am back into work but its a 30 mile round trip in the car compared to a short bike ride or 3 mile round trip to the last job.

Because of my increased commuting costs I'm actually in a worse off place than I was before I left my other job to take a chance to buy my own place. Now I'm having to use the deposit money to live temporarily and top up our earnings just to keep this rented place over my familys head and pay to get to work.

I've been renting for 10 years and spent over £120,000 paying off other peoples ****ing mortgages instead of my own and its really dragging me down to the depths of despair and depression.

Just how do you do it?

I have a deposit, no loans, credit cards, HP or PCP on cars, we are debt free, we both have good credit ratings and still can't get someone to lend us enough to buy a house as we just don't earn enough money.

It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

Now things are seriously deteoriating with Dad I just don't know what to ****ing do any more.

Only I could take a shot at doing the best for my family and ending up in a ****ing worse position than when I started.

I've started going down a very dark hole in my mind lately that I can't seem to find a way out of yet and I'm starting to have some intrusive thoughts creep in.

I am sorry to read this. From what you have written you have a young child so please keep that at the front of your mind. He/she wants and needs a loving daddy and that is 100 times more important than whether your rent or own a property (though I do recognise your want to buy).

From a practical perspective keep job hunting for something closer to home and that issue could be resolved.

On your last paragraph please consider getting some help. Those thoughts you reference don’t sound good so call someone or a doctor. Think of your family and get yourself the help you need as they need you to be around long term.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Have you looked into shared ownership as a way of starting? The Southern Housing Group have quite a few developments. https://www.shgroup.org.uk/looking-for-a-home/homes-to-buy/shared-ownership/ I have no knowledge of them or their developments, but it may be worth you looking into.

 

[Papak]

Sorry to hear about your situation.
Is worth looking to move to another area.
When I got married in 79, there was no way I could afford to buy a house in Brighton. My wife to be lived in Hailsham so it was a no brainer.
The property over here is a lot cheaper than anywhere on main line to London, eg Burgess Hill.
10 mins to Eastbourne, 30 minutes to Brighton and Hastings, 40 minutes to Tunbridge Wells, 5 mins to Polegate if you need London connections.
275k will get you a 2/3 bed semi in Hailsham and reasonable distance to travel for your work

Hailsham to Horsham is further than it is in the alphabet!

I agree with the sentiment, my parents married 51 years ago and moved to Horsham because they couldn't afford to buy where they grew up (Sutton area) so unfortunately this is not a new phenomenon .
[MENTION=20792]spongy[/MENTION] You seem to be doing a great job with the hand you've been dealt - keep it up and things will come good I'm sure.

 

[DJ NOBO]

Lately I've really been thinking about moving somewhere shit. Like, really, really shit.
I'm quite handy, so i can do it up. And if it's got an outside space you can create a little haven, even if you don't want to leave the house.
Lockdown has made me realise how important a 'home' is. Sick of living in other peoples spaces. But the reality is I can't afford to buy here (Bristol), or down there.

Move to Chippenham! It’s pretty shit, but it’s cheaper and there are a few Albion fans here

 

[DJ NOBO]

I'm 42 sodding years old.

I've come to the conclusion that I should just ****ing give up on the whole dream.

As some of you know I've been saving for the best part of 10 years for a deposit for a house and have a sizeable deposit so it was time to start looking and applying for mortgages.

This was back in March just before the world decided to shit itself to death with Covid19.

Ever since then its just been let down after let down or problem after problem.

The Mrs was due to go back to work part time on April 1st 2020 after her maternity leave had finished so I was desperate to get one before that happened as in doing so her income dropped by £8k a year severely affecting our LTV figures.

Over the next few months all my overtime disappeared as the company I worked for began to struggle costing me over £8k in yearly o/t earnings. Basically the £16k a year we are down has hit us really hard and put paid to any chance of being able to borrow enough to buy anywhere.

So I got a new job in December that involved a big rise in my basic pay and we thought we could be back in the game and be looking at houses now.

I went back to work after Christmas feeling positive and hopeful for the future on the 4th Jan.

On the morning of 5th Jan my car broke down driving to work (£450 for a new alternator). At 10am the MD of the company called me into his office to say they were shutting down due to Lockdown 3 being announced the previous evening and furloughing all staff.

Because I only started in December I couldn't be furloughed so they terminated my employment (I was on 3 month probationary period) so there was **** all I could do but go home and tell the wife.

That afternoon I had an emotional call from my mum to say that Dad (who had been in hospital over christmas) wasn't doing well as they'd had a meeting with Oncology at RSCH and that there was nothing more they could do about his brain tumours and that The Martletts would be taking over palliative care moving forward.

I say luckily in a very ironic way that I've worked quick despite this year being worse than 2020 already that I've managed to find another job so am back into work but its a 30 mile round trip in the car compared to a short bike ride or 3 mile round trip to the last job.

Because of my increased commuting costs I'm actually in a worse off place than I was before I left my other job to take a chance to buy my own place. Now I'm having to use the deposit money to live temporarily and top up our earnings just to keep this rented place over my familys head and pay to get to work.

I've been renting for 10 years and spent over £120,000 paying off other peoples ****ing mortgages instead of my own and its really dragging me down to the depths of despair and depression.

Just how do you do it?

I have a deposit, no loans, credit cards, HP or PCP on cars, we are debt free, we both have good credit ratings and still can't get someone to lend us enough to buy a house as we just don't earn enough money.

It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

Now things are seriously deteoriating with Dad I just don't know what to ****ing do any more.

Only I could take a shot at doing the best for my family and ending up in a ****ing worse position than when I started.

I've started going down a very dark hole in my mind lately that I can't seem to find a way out of yet and I'm starting to have some intrusive thoughts creep in.

I hope you can see, you have a lot of friends on here.
The house buying process can grind you down. It did to me.
I would strongly recommend you give yourself a break from thinking about it, at least for a few months.
It sounds like you have a close family and they need you. Don’t forget that, it’s what counts most.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Feel for you mate, I've been renting about 10 years also and only found out about the Money Box lifetime ISA deal last year, government give 25% bonus on whatever you put in up to 4k a year

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[blue-shifted]

OP

I'd explain your story to your MP.

It won't help you personally in any way.

But all the time people are suffering in silence, there will never be any political will to address this issue.

 

[Change at Barnham]

I think its unlikely that you're going backwards at the moment as the property market hasn't quite decided what it's doing.
Your Dad's health issues are very upsetting and will cause you to feel very unsettled emotionally.

I'd say, sit tight with your savings, continue being a great Dad and husband and speak to a couple of mortgage advisors to find out what they think you can realistically achieve.
Mentally try and relax, unload the stress of thinking you need to buy somewhere soon and have a look again at things later in the year.

 

[Albion Dan]

I'd really be tempted personally to see what the next couple of years brings for the economy before jumping in. The housing market is a huge bubble in the UK and can see it all going pop at some point. And I'm saying that as someone with a several hundred £k pounds mortgage already.

 

[Gwylan]

I'm not going to add to the excellent advice you've been given but I just want to say that I was nearly 40 when I became a property owner for the first time, so don't feel that you've already missed the boat. You're still relatively young

 

[Blue3]

The issue relates to the Thatcher Government and the reasons I have set out below

Between the 1960 and the early 1980s there was three types of housing available to the masses purchasing, rental on the private market or renting from the state all three were available as one person working would expect to earn enough to fund this and bring up a family Today Millions of full time working people can no longer support a family pay rent or mortgage and feed and cloth a family on one persons wages and making the social welfare system under greater pressure than ever

The reasons for this relates to lending rates Since the 1980s wages rose much slower partly due to the fall in influence of trade unions, partly because of a series of very deep recessions, partly because of the Thatcher Governments dramatic move to reduce public spending on state ownership away from a manufacturing base to one built upon finances externally and home ownership internally, selling of the state owner housing stock at knock down rates with no reinvestment into new homes, people looking for somewhere to live only had two options buy or private rental, the U.K. Economic model was now largely driven by financial sector this led to a stable economy for the next 20 years and governments of all political persuasions continued to develop the economy along these lines creating stable low interest rates which in turn suppressed the argument for high wage rises and promoted easy credit..

This fundamentally changed society with only two options for housing individuals savings gave little return unless they were invested into high risk shares, so property became a far more valuable commodity and values started to rise soon the working one person was now not earning enough alone to raise enough credit to purchase so the norm became two working people this started to effect society in other ways family structures changed became more pressured this continued higher house prices depressed wages less skilled jobs more people working full time doing several jobs and yet still unable to raise enough credit and lenders constantly increasing the lend to lone rate until the only way onto the housing market for most was to have very a substantial deposit.

The bank of mum and dad became the new normal but only for those who could afford it for millions of others that was not an option for the first since the start of the welfare state the uk had a large proportion who were two adults working full time across a number of jobs and we finding that they were not able to earn enough to support a family pay the rent or to get onto the housing market.

Then the financial crash of 2010 gave the right of British politics an opportunity to squeeze big government and the services it provided which the right was ideologically not in favour of supporting it did this under the guise of paying off the national debt within an unreasonable timeline this was compounded by Brexit and Covid19 the Government in a desperate act to kick an economy into life announces that it would introduce a freeze on stamp duty to reduce house buying creating a house purchasing boom but it has inadvertently increased house prices by 6% making hosing even more unattainable

 

[indy3050]

You are the same age as me, I know EXACTLY what you are going through regarding the housing. I have also wasted over £100,000 paying someone else’s mortgages. I’m Brighton born and bred but had to leave 15 years ago. We moved to Shoreham, then to Lancing and finally to Worthing as we just couldn’t afford the rent anymore. I had to provide for my wife and kids, we had bailiffs at the door, ccj’s, nobody would touch us. We had beans on toast for a solid week, couldn’t afford a holiday even in this country, the kids were missing out, couldn’t give them the things their friends had, it’s heartbreaking mate but you are not alone!

My advice is NEVER give up. Good things happen to those who deserve it, eventually. Your family will appreciate your efforts more than you realise at this time! As already mentioned it is a bad time right now, in fact it’s never been so bad for the likes of you and me and probably never will be. There is hope though. There is always hope!

Try and keep that glass half full mate. Never.Give.up. Xx

 

[Wrong-Direction]

I'd really be tempted personally to see what the next couple of years brings for the economy before jumping in. The housing market is a huge bubble in the UK and can see it all going pop at some point. And I'm saying that as someone with a several hundred £k pounds mortgage already.

I'm hoping for a huge crash in a couple of years

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