If your child is fat then simple: you are a bad parent!

[portlock seagull]

According to this idiot anyway. It just isn't that simple though is it. If it were, there'd be no overweight kids. Anyway, here you go (takes pin out and walks away...)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/11985974/If-your-child-is-fat-then-you-are-a-bad-parent.html

 

[Simster]

Sorry, but there's truth in that in 99% of cases.

There is nothing good about letting a kid get fat. As a parent, it is your responsibility to ensure that doesn't happen.

 

[KZNSeagull]

What happens if you have one overweight child and one underweight child, as I do? The overweight one does NOT shovel sweets into his mouth 24 hours a day and has what we would consider a reasonably healthy diet, plays cricket, tennis and does karate but never loses any weight. The underweight one shovels as much food as possible into his gob all day, does no exercise whatsoever and never gains weight ever. Terrible parenting all round here then.

 

[Simster]

What happens if you have one overweight child and one underweight child, as I do? The overweight one does NOT shovel sweets into his mouth 24 hours a day and has what we would consider a reasonably healthy diet, plays cricket, tennis and does karate but never loses any weight. The underweight one shovels as much food as possible into his gob all day, does no exercise whatsoever and never gains weight ever. Terrible parenting all round here then.

I don't want to be confrontational but in all honesty, it sounds like the overweight one has a less active metabolism, so ultimately they should probably eat less. For what it's worth, my son and daughter are a little like this. But my daughter loves food and so we have to be careful what we feed her. I don't think she'd thank us if she grows up a chubster!

At the end of the day, it's a fact of life that some can get away with eating loads and not getting fat, whereas others can't. But equally, we as parents have to manage that - surely?

 

[portlock seagull]

I know the evidence from healthy eating bodies has categorically proved that the food industry is culpable in causing child obesity (and adult) no matter how careful you try to be. It's really not that simple as anyone who is prepared to invest time reading about will already know. It's not an excuse. It's just fact! Besides, children don't do as much exercise as they once did and that's not all down to bad parenting.

 

[Simster]

I know the evidence from healthy eating bodies has categorically proved that the food industry is culpable in causing child obesity (and adult) no matter how careful you try to be. It's really not that simple as anyone who is prepared to invest time reading about will already know. It's not an excuse. It's just fact! Besides, children don't do as much exercise as they once did and that's not all down to bad parenting.

The lack of exercise is a red herring. Its impact is far less significant than that of what they're eating. I take your point that the food industry is culpable, but if you read that article there is very little to argue with. Plenty of people dish out shite ready meals rather than cook from scratch, and plenty more cave in to the demands for chocolate and sweets just to stop their kids whining.

Overall, if people ate less processed shite we'd have fewer cases of obesity.

 

[KZNSeagull]

I don't want to be confrontational but in all honesty, it sounds like the overweight one has a less active metabolism, so ultimately they should probably eat less. For what it's worth, my son and daughter are a little like this. But my daughter loves food and so we have to be careful what we feed her. I don't think she'd thank us if she grows up a chubster!

At the end of the day, it's a fact of life that some can get away with eating loads and not getting fat, whereas others can't. But equally, we as parents have to manage that - surely?

That isn't confrontational, that is sensible. Trouble is, the overweight one really does not each that much at all - no sweets, biscuits etc. Eats a lot of apples though and has a main meal every evening at about 6. He is only 11 so am hoping that it is just puppy fat (as the underweight one, who is 16, got a bit tubby just before puberty and then shot up and got very skinny). We will just have to wait and see. The younger one was also very skinny until the xmas holidays 2 years ago, then he suddenly put on weight. We will monitor the situation carefully as he gets older (my wife apparently was fat until puberty, then she shot up and was very skinny into her late 30's).

 

[Nibble]

11? That'll disappear as he grows.

 

[Stat Brother]

[MENTION=232]Simster[/MENTION] add an extra point to your daily total due to your use of the word Chubster.

 

[Megazone]

What if the parents are fat but the kids are in healthy shape?

 

[Return of the Rev]

The lack of exercise is a red herring. Its impact is far less significant than that of what they're eating. I take your point that the food industry is culpable, but if you read that article there is very little to argue with. Plenty of people dish out shite ready meals rather than cook from scratch, and plenty more cave in to the demands for chocolate and sweets just to stop their kids whining.

Overall, if people ate less processed shite we'd have fewer cases of obesity.

Most fat kids are fat because of fat lazy parents! most not all.

 

[Simster]

That isn't confrontational, that is sensible. Trouble is, the overweight one really does not each that much at all - no sweets, biscuits etc. Eats a lot of apples though and has a main meal every evening at about 6. He is only 11 so am hoping that it is just puppy fat (as the underweight one, who is 16, got a bit tubby just before puberty and then shot up and got very skinny). We will just have to wait and see. The younger one was also very skinny until the xmas holidays 2 years ago, then he suddenly put on weight. We will monitor the situation carefully as he gets older (my wife apparently was fat until puberty, then she shot up and was very skinny into her late 30's).

Sounds like [MENTION=5707]Nibble[/MENTION] is on the money here.

You're hardly into the realms of stomach stapling by the sounds of it. It sounds like you are just having to do exactly what all good parents do - spot a potential problem heading in your childs direction, and do your best to avert it. In this case, keep away from too many sweets, chocs, processed and fatty food. Also stuff like rice and bread don't help. But of course, you can't be too heavy handed either.

 

[nwgull]

Most fat kids are fat because of fat lazy parents! most not all.

All chubsters are fat because they eat more calories than they expend. However, I think that the food industry and the quality of school dinners should share some of the blame when it comes to overweight kids.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

My son is massivley overweight (6 foot and 18 stone of gut). When I started to teach him to cook for himself (I was a single parent at the time, and cooked for him up to age 17) he wasn't interested. He cooked a bit, but never cleaned the cooker (I am a bit anal and clean my oven every time I use it). So he eventually moved to take aways. He's 29 now. Nice lad but doesn't like to do ANYTHING that doesn't suit him. My ex (not his mum) told me I was a bad parent for trying to look after him, not charging him rent etc. Eventually I got him to pay me £100 a month. After 3 years he just stopped the standing order. By then he'd also spent all his savings. He has a job, but not well paid (he dropped out of sixth form with a view to becoming a full time musician, FFS). He plays in his band but it doesn't pay. After giving him 6 years warning, I finally booted him out in the Summer (although he didn't leave till October - in with his missus at her mum's house FFS). Some kids just have a will of their own. He was slim and fit till he was about 23. He is refusing to speak to me now. Mind you he hasn't spoken to him mum since July, and she is leading a blameless life in Canada, and is worried about him, as am I. Some of you on here know me, and my son. Its all rather sad. Am I a bad parent? I have done something wrong, but aside from being not 'hard enough' with him (according to my ex) I don't know what it is.

 

[Bold Seagull]

I went on a primary school trip recently and one girl opened her lunchbox - she had 2 bags of cheesy puff crisps and a lump of cheese! I kid you not that was her lunch for a full day out. Teachers have spare lunches for these situations and back at the school have spare dinners as there are enough kids whose parents are sending them in with appalling lunches. It is frightening, lazy, ignorant, and in some cases it is neglect.

 

[nwgull]

You're clearly not a bad parent [MENTION=1200]Harry Wilson's tackle[/MENTION]: at 23 it's up to him to make his own adult decisions. I hope it turns out well. And if it does, he may one day thank you for booting him out in an attempt to make him stand on his own two feet.

 

[Bold Seagull]

My son is massivley overweight (6 foot and 18 stone of gut). When I started to teach him to cook for himself (I was a single parent at the time, and cooked for him up to age 17) he wasn't interested. He cooked a bit, but never cleaned the cooker (I am a bit anal and clean my oven every time I use it). So he eventually moved to take aways. He's 29 now. Nice lad but doesn't like to do ANYTHING that doesn't suit him. My ex (not his mum) told me I was a bad parent for trying to look after him, not charging him rent etc. Eventually I got him to pay me £100 a month. After 3 years he just stopped the standing order. By then he'd also spent all his savings. He has a job, but not well paid (he dropped out of sixth form with a view to becoming a full time musician, FFS). He plays in his band but it doesn't pay. After giving him 6 years warning, I finally booted him out in the Summer (although he didn't leave till October - in with his missus at her mum's house FFS). Some kids just have a will of their own. He was slim and fit till he was about 23. He is refusing to speak to me now. Mind you he hasn't spoken to him mum since July, and she is leading a blameless life in Canada, and is worried about him, as am I. Some of you on here know me, and my son. Its all rather sad. Am I a bad parent? I have done something wrong, but aside from being not 'hard enough' with him (according to my ex) I don't know what it is.

I think once you got him to 17 or so, you can consider your role as 'bringing him up' as nearing completion. Not questioning your role as his dad beyond that, but like you say, from 18 or so he's making his own choices. You got him to 23 slim and fit, you can't blame yourself for what happens after that.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

That isn't confrontational, that is sensible. Trouble is, the overweight one really does not each that much at all - no sweets, biscuits etc. Eats a lot of apples though and has a main meal every evening at about 6. He is only 11 so am hoping that it is just puppy fat (as the underweight one, who is 16, got a bit tubby just before puberty and then shot up and got very skinny). We will just have to wait and see. The younger one was also very skinny until the xmas holidays 2 years ago, then he suddenly put on weight. We will monitor the situation carefully as he gets older (my wife apparently was fat until puberty, then she shot up and was very skinny into her late 30's).

Hormones do play a big part in kids growth. As you say, girls tend to store fat (which is why it's called puppy fat) just before puberty, as their bodies need to reach a certain weight to start it off. Anorexic girls periods stop because they drop below that optimum weight.
Then they have a growth spurt and appear skinny again.

Fresh food prepared and keep off the processed foods, and most kids will grow normally. One big food con is breakfast cereals which are teeming with sugar, as are soft drinks.

 

[Questions]

My lad was quite chubby at 9 or 10 but they often grow out of that once they start getting into a sport they like. 20 or 30 county and regional medals for sprinting later he is anything but chubby now.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I think once you got him to 17 or so, you can consider your role as 'bringing him up' as nearing completion. Not questioning your role as his dad beyond that, but like you say, from 18 or so he's making his own choices. You got him to 23 slim and fit, you can't blame yourself for what happens after that.

Thanks. Rationally I know that, but its not possible to be rational when its your kid. For me, anyway. Hopefully he'll pull his head out of his arse at some point. I emailed him after he left to say I never intended to keep the rent he paid and would be happy to transfer it back to him. No reply. Stubborn lad . . . .My dad was a nightmare (rather free with his slaps) and I was careful to go the other way when I became a dad, and sometimes I wonder whether I was too liberal. Anyway, one day maybe Junior Tackle will remember the hundreds of Brighton games we went to together (he's done more than 40 away grounds) and all that, and break the ice. Probably a day before his girlfriend's mum boots him out